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Message
re: When You Feel Like You're Lost In Life
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:54 pm to TrueLoveofNature
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:54 pm to TrueLoveofNature
quote:
What do you think?
I know the question wasn't directed at me, but that's a plan that sounds a hell of a lot better than the alternative. I'd start with seeking out and find a professional to talk to that can help you work through these difficult times. Maybe they can present you with a plan that has the same results without the hardships of just up and quitting a steady job. Or they may tell you your plan is fantastic and turn in your notice.
Let someone help you with those kinds of decisions who can look at your situation from a different angle and present you with the best path for yourself.
1
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:55 pm to TrueLoveofNature
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:55 pm to TrueLoveofNature
Hit your knees my friend and ask Jesus to wash you clean. Confess that you are nothing without him and give thanks for his unconditional love. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:55 pm to TrueLoveofNature
quote:
My entire life is miserable
Your misery has worth. There is a why in where you are. Find your strength! Learn from it so that it’s not repeated.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:56 pm to TrueLoveofNature
Yes. Even though it's hot, spend some time outside. Sometimes I walk around my neighborhood at 9PM. Really helps me clear my head.Get some exercise and get out of your normal routine, whatever that may be and for the time being, cut out alcohol. Alcohol even in small amounts can put me in a shitty mood for days sometimes. Those women that ghosted you, it might not have been anything that you've done. Some women find a decent guy and they don't know how to act. I know a few that are just used to being treated like shite that they literally implode any relationship they start with a decent guy.
Probably why tigergirl10 is still single.
Probably why tigergirl10 is still single.
This post was edited on 7/20/22 at 2:06 pm
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:56 pm to TrueLoveofNature
start a chess.com account and learn to play chess
learn to tend a garden or just some potted plants/herbs or something if you don't have space
learn how to whittle or or carve wood
learn how to do some DIY projects around your house
join a bowling league
point is just try to find something that interests you and maybe find a group or something that shares the same interests to meet new people? as far as the romance stuff women can since that kind of stuff and are turned off by it so it'll come easier when you learn how to be happy or have a hobby you enjoy. no one wants to get with a depressed person unless they're depressed themselves and they just want to be depressed together which never really turns out to be healthy for either of the 2 parties.
learn to tend a garden or just some potted plants/herbs or something if you don't have space
learn how to whittle or or carve wood
learn how to do some DIY projects around your house
join a bowling league
point is just try to find something that interests you and maybe find a group or something that shares the same interests to meet new people? as far as the romance stuff women can since that kind of stuff and are turned off by it so it'll come easier when you learn how to be happy or have a hobby you enjoy. no one wants to get with a depressed person unless they're depressed themselves and they just want to be depressed together which never really turns out to be healthy for either of the 2 parties.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:56 pm to IAmNERD
quote:
I know the question wasn't directed at me, but that's a plan that sounds a hell of a lot better than the alternative. I'd start with seeking out and find a professional to talk to that can help you work through these difficult times. Maybe they can present you with a plan that has the same results without the hardships of just up and quitting a steady job. Or they may tell you your plan is fantastic and turn in your notice.
Let someone help you with those kinds of decisions who can look at your situation from a different angle and present you with the best path for yourself.
I know I probably should start with seeing a therapist. This is part of where my job comes in. We work Monday through Friday and are on 9 hours days right now with bankers hours. What hours do therapists typically work? Monday through Friday. I feel like it'll be really difficult to get in to see a therapist and if I do it'll be months away. I genuinely don't think I can keep my current situation going for that long.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:56 pm to TrueLoveofNature
quote:
You all really think it would hurt more people if I ended it? I've always thought I would just be forgotten pretty quickly. I mean I'm not anyone famous and even memorable. I'm pretty much the definition of a nobody.
Nobody is a nobody. Allow me to tell you a story real quick if you don't mind. I was a third year teacher and hated every second of it. I hated going to work, I hated dealing with the bs of public school. I was anxious and grumpy at home, I hated everything really. On the last day of school I received a letter from a student that was in my class my first year. I wouldn't say we were particularly close but I was nice to him, and him to me. In this letter he detailed how much of an impact I had on his life and encouraged him with the things I would say in class. He decided he didn't want to live a life on the streets and would be enlisting in the military upon graduation. He thanked me for my time and wished me the best of luck in my future. I had absolutely zero idea I had made a mark on this kids life and inspired him to want better. Hell, I couldn't even tell you what it was that I said. I truly mean when I say, you never know the impact you have on the folks around you. Don't give up, never out of the fight.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 1:57 pm to TrueLoveofNature
They apparently have some growing options regarding online therapy for people in your situation.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:00 pm to TrueLoveofNature
quote:
True but I feel like they would be better off without me. And I only have a few friends, never really been good with making friends as an introvert. I feel like if I made a video for each of them that would help them understand.
I've had two really good friends who committed suicide over the years and it is the most selfish thing anyone can do to their friends and family. Leaving behind a note or video only makes it worse on them because they didn't have the balls to tell any of us so we could get them help.
They won't understand at all. Find a therapist and talk to your parents/close friends and tell them how you are feeling so they can offer you some support as that is really the only way out of the hole you are in right now. Keeping it bottled up to yourself only makes it worse.
You will end up destroying not just your life but theirs too if you did this.
This post was edited on 7/20/22 at 2:03 pm
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:00 pm to TrueLoveofNature
quote:
TrueLoveofNature
First, I'm sorry to hear you are suffering.
Second, no matter how old you are (and you don't disclose your age), you can always find something to enjoy or a goal to work towards.
Third, you have to try to exercise and socialize, painful as those tasks might be.
Fourth, please seek out a professional therapist immediately. It might really help you.
Don't despair. There is hope. I'm sorry you are suffering.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:01 pm to TrueLoveofNature
Others mentioned it. It will be the best companion you can ask for.
Get outside, get some sun and exercise with your new friend. Def try to leave the toxic job.
Get outside, get some sun and exercise with your new friend. Def try to leave the toxic job.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:02 pm to TrueLoveofNature
quote:
TrueLoveofNature
Man, I don't deal with depression personally but my wife constantly does. I try to lift her spirits sometimes by pointing out all of the great things that she has and has done when her depression hides those accomplishments from her mind and at other times I tell her that she is the one in charge and every time she does something in spite of her thoughts, its a win and basically kicking depressions arse one thing at a time. If you feel like you cant get out and exercise, that's just an opportunity to get a win.
I understand that living in a life that you see no light at the end of the tunnel can be demoralizing, but at the very least you know there is a chance, However slim it may be, there is always that chance. That is not the case if you take the other route. Hope and optimism are tough to lean on when past results and your own mind are telling you opposite, but you are who you are for a reason. You were made different and its not because you are weak, its because you are strong enough to overcome. Prayers up for ya
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:02 pm to TrueLoveofNature
quote:
You all really think it would hurt more people if I ended it? I've always thought I would just be forgotten pretty quickly. I mean I'm not anyone famous and even memorable. I'm pretty much the definition of a nobody.
The same could be said about my son, and yes losing him hurts every moment of every day I've lived since.
Are you part of any groups at all? You got to get out your head and focus on something you enjoy. It will likely be hard to make the first step to get in involved in something but it will be worth it.
You mentioned a few things you use to like is there anything you have always wanted to try?
In my area there are meetup groups for all kinds of activities including Tennis and outdoors adventures. That could be a good way to get you off the couch and meet a new friend with no pressure attached.
Also, not sure if your religious, but being part of a religious groups that does a lot to help our community has helped me a ton with the loss of my son. As others have said helping others can help get you out of a selfish mindset and into a serving others mindset. One of the best things at my church is our men's group. We meet up once a week for breakfast tacos and talk about life. It's a good opportunity to develop relationships in a non judgmental atmosphere.
Please don't hurt yourself because you will be missed and don't be scared to tell people how you are really doing. Last thing, change what you have been doing that got you to this place and try something new. Get a new job. Get a new hobby. Join a meetup group so you can get out and about with no pressure.
This post was edited on 7/20/22 at 2:26 pm
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:03 pm to tigergirl10
quote:
Giving someone who already doesn’t care about living something to relax/numb them even more is absurd.
No, but he is having trouble sleeping. I can't stay on a sleep schedule so I take one at 9:30 every night and I'm asleep by 10:15. Just having a sleep routine has helped me immensely.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:04 pm to TrueLoveofNature
Adopt a dog. I was in a similar rut with dating and decided to just take a break for a while, adopt a dog, and enjoy it's companionship for a while. Well, I would up really clicking with the girl who was fostering the dog when she came over to my house to make sure that I had a yard with a fence or whatever. Long story short, we're about to celebrate our 8yr anniversary and have a beautiful 2yr old daughter. Things can change overnight, and probably when you least expect it. Just do you and you'll find someone along that path, the one you're supposed to be on.
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:05 pm to TrueLoveofNature
I'm not sure where your located and you'd just have to research hours in your area. I know there are a couple in my are who do t start seeing patients until noon and work til 8 or 9 in the evening particularly for patients who can't make appointments due to work.
And as someone else mentioned above, there are multiple options for counseling to be done online these days. I hear ads for them on podcasts I listen to all the time but am blank on the names right now.
Big picture is this: there are tools out there to make you a happier, more fulfilled person.
And as someone else mentioned above, there are multiple options for counseling to be done online these days. I hear ads for them on podcasts I listen to all the time but am blank on the names right now.
Big picture is this: there are tools out there to make you a happier, more fulfilled person.
This post was edited on 7/20/22 at 2:06 pm
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:06 pm to TrueLoveofNature
quote:
am extremely lonely and I really don't feel like anyone would truly be impacted if I were gone
I think this way more than I probably should .
I relate to you a lot OP. I could’ve written something very similar overall.
Hope it gets better for you my friend.
Let’s just take this one day at a time
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:06 pm to TrueLoveofNature
I’ve been this way several times in my life. I think it sneaks up on people. But somehow you’ve let negative thinking replace older positive ways of thinking and living alone doesn’t help. You have to retrain your brain. Make fun of things you can’t control and worry more about things you can control.
This post was edited on 7/20/22 at 2:08 pm
Posted on 7/20/22 at 2:08 pm to TrueLoveofNature
quote:No, they won’t. I go to counseling once a week, and none of that happened. They won’t be able to contact your family unless you give them they’re info.
talk to someone they're just going to want to put me away in some mental hospital or that they'll contact family and then it'll become a disaster.
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