Started By
Message

re: what is your definition of adultery?

Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:53 pm to
Posted by Lincoln Dawson
Spanish Fort, AL
Member since Feb 2019
783 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:53 pm to
quote:

You are trying to stretch the definition of adultery to something it isn’t. The question I have is why? What is your desire to label this as adultery? Is there some benefit to you if people accept your broad definition of adultery?


i beleive God made us to have sex with our spouses two to three times per week and that each of us should reach fulfillment.

in marriages where that number of times occurs, there are also health and emotional benefits as well.

i think more sex in the marriage increases satisfaction with the marriage. it all ties together.

Posted by scott8811
Ratchet City, LA
Member since Oct 2014
11321 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:53 pm to
quote:

Cheating on your spouse. Pretty cut and dry


This...not sure why you wrote 4 paragraphs on it, but I'm sure as frick not reading all of that
Posted by AUFANATL
Member since Dec 2007
3869 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:54 pm to

I don't think anyone would consider not having sex with their spouse a form of adultery. A sign of relationship problems? Definitely. Grounds for divorce? Maybe. But it's not cheating unless you bring another person into the mix.
Posted by tigafan4life
Member since Dec 2006
48919 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:55 pm to
quote:

two to three times per week
No kids huh?
Posted by WDE24
Member since Oct 2010
54132 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:55 pm to
quote:

i beleive God made us to have sex with our spouses two to three times per week
what verse is that

quote:

in marriages where that number of times occurs, there are also health and emotional benefits as well.

i think more sex in the marriage increases satisfaction with the marriage. it all ties together.
a healthy sex live in marriage is important. I’m not defending what your ex wife did, I’m just curious why it is important to you to label it as adultery?
Posted by windshieldman
Member since Nov 2012
12818 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:56 pm to
quote:

But it's not cheating unless you bring another person into the mix.


What if it’s an animal?
Posted by Lincoln Dawson
Spanish Fort, AL
Member since Feb 2019
783 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:57 pm to
quote:

I don't think anyone would consider not having sex with their spouse a form of adultery.


i understand what you are saying and i'm not ignorant enough to not see the difference between not cheating, cheating and abstaining.

quote:

A sign of relationship problems? Definitely. Grounds for divorce? Maybe. But it's not cheating unless you bring another person into the mix.


i can tell you that emotionally and mentally it tore me up inside. maybe i am weaker than most men when it comes to that but i also didn't want my life to just wither away with someone who didn't desire to be intimate with me.
Posted by LittleJerrySeinfield
350,000 Post Karma
Member since Aug 2013
7677 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:57 pm to
What you're describing is not adultery, no matter what kind of mental gymnastics you do to try and rationalize it to yourself.
Posted by Robin Masters
Birmingham
Member since Jul 2010
29722 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:57 pm to
It’s not adultery but it’s not honoring either.
Posted by FlyinTiger93
Member since May 2010
3578 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:58 pm to
Duh, p in the v.
Posted by UKWildcats
Lexington, KY
Member since Mar 2015
17138 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:58 pm to
quote:

You are trying to stretch the definition of adultery to something it isn’t. The question I have is why? What is your desire to label this as adultery? Is there some benefit to you if people accept your broad definition of adultery?
This.

Im still not clear based on the OPs rambling musing whether his wife fricked around on him or not. My takeaway was that he's labeling her holding out the cooter as adultery. Its not OP.

Fuethermore, youre divorced apparently already anyway. WTF does it matter? Stop dwelling on it. Youve got your kids. Put positive energy into them. If you need it, go find a new woman.


I was engaged for 5 yrs, broke it off on Feb. Im happy, other than the whole lockdown thing being a damper on getting back out there. As a mid 30s baw, its hard to see any real incentive in todays society to get married willy nilly without an air tight prenup.
Posted by Lincoln Dawson
Spanish Fort, AL
Member since Feb 2019
783 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:59 pm to
quote:

i could count on two hands and still have enough fingers left over to tell you how many times i would have sex with my wife


quote:

Dude we get it, you’re not a virgin, stop bragging

quote:

windshieldman


this made me laugh. thank you. i really need that and not joking either.
Posted by Tangineck
Mandeville
Member since Nov 2017
1804 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:00 pm to
quote:

You are trying to stretch the definition of adultery to something it isn’t. The question I have is why? 


This. This is a terrible coping mechanism. It reeks of narcissism of the highest order. It didn't work out, and you have to accept it, along with everything else that comes with it. If you're trying to deal with the social embarrassment of divorce, the worst thing you can do is wallow in your own self justification. People are going to judge you either way, no matter what reason you give.
Posted by LittleJerrySeinfield
350,000 Post Karma
Member since Aug 2013
7677 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:00 pm to
quote:

i can tell you that emotionally and mentally it tore me up inside. maybe i am weaker than most men when it comes to that but i also didn't want my life to just wither away with someone who didn't desire to be intimate with me


There was a point in my marriage where we were rarely having sex. I blamed her, but in reality it was as much my fault as hers, probably more so. If your only reason for going to bed was to try and have sex with your wife, you were doing it wrong.
This post was edited on 11/18/20 at 2:01 pm
Posted by windshieldman
Member since Nov 2012
12818 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:01 pm to
quote:

this made me laugh. thank you


Posted by Lincoln Dawson
Spanish Fort, AL
Member since Feb 2019
783 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:02 pm to
quote:

i beleive God made us to have sex with our spouses two to three times per week


quote:

WDE24



quote:

what verse is that



the male body produces a new batch of sperm about every 72 hours; that’s the way God made us men.

if sex with spouse were achieved on average every 72 hours, that would be approximately 2 to 3 times per week.

not a verse, but science.

quote:

I’m just curious why it is important to you to label it as adultery?


it is certainly a different take and i said in another post i do understand what the word adultery means by most people's definition. maybe i could have labeled it differently.
Posted by Lincoln Dawson
Spanish Fort, AL
Member since Feb 2019
783 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:03 pm to
quote:

It’s not adultery but it’s not honoring either.


this is said better than what i originally said.

honoring. that is a much better word.
Posted by TaderSalad
mudbug territory
Member since Jul 2014
24640 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:03 pm to
I think we need pics of both parties to aid in determining why she cut you off.
Posted by SECdragonmaster
Order of the Dragons
Member since Dec 2013
16189 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:04 pm to
I think you are handling things the correct way, OP.

Exploring and analyzing your last relationship and the reasons for its success and/or failures is an important step.

You are correct that hopping on tinder will not help your mental health.

I would focus on being the best dad, friend, and worker you can be. Grow closer to God and make decisions on the best way to be fulfilled in this life.

The next relationship will likely be much better.
Posted by Chucktown_Badger
The banks of the Ashley River
Member since May 2013
31085 posts
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:05 pm to
quote:

Is there some benefit to you if people accept your broad definition of adultery?


It will make him feel better about his divorce if he can chalk her withholding sex up as adultery. Which to me, sounds like the "or worse" part of his vows. And he seems like a religious person so, yes, he should feel badly for bailing.
first pageprev pagePage 2 of 6Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitterInstagram