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re: what is your definition of adultery?
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:53 pm to WDE24
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:53 pm to WDE24
quote:
You are trying to stretch the definition of adultery to something it isn’t. The question I have is why? What is your desire to label this as adultery? Is there some benefit to you if people accept your broad definition of adultery?
i beleive God made us to have sex with our spouses two to three times per week and that each of us should reach fulfillment.
in marriages where that number of times occurs, there are also health and emotional benefits as well.
i think more sex in the marriage increases satisfaction with the marriage. it all ties together.
4
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:53 pm to red sox fan 13
quote:
Cheating on your spouse. Pretty cut and dry
This...not sure why you wrote 4 paragraphs on it, but I'm sure as frick not reading all of that
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:54 pm to Lincoln Dawson
I don't think anyone would consider not having sex with their spouse a form of adultery. A sign of relationship problems? Definitely. Grounds for divorce? Maybe. But it's not cheating unless you bring another person into the mix.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:55 pm to Lincoln Dawson
quote:No kids huh?
two to three times per week
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:55 pm to Lincoln Dawson
quote:
i beleive God made us to have sex with our spouses two to three times per week
what verse is that quote:a healthy sex live in marriage is important. I’m not defending what your ex wife did, I’m just curious why it is important to you to label it as adultery?
in marriages where that number of times occurs, there are also health and emotional benefits as well.
i think more sex in the marriage increases satisfaction with the marriage. it all ties together.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:56 pm to AUFANATL
quote:
But it's not cheating unless you bring another person into the mix.
What if it’s an animal?
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:57 pm to AUFANATL
quote:
I don't think anyone would consider not having sex with their spouse a form of adultery.
i understand what you are saying and i'm not ignorant enough to not see the difference between not cheating, cheating and abstaining.
quote:
A sign of relationship problems? Definitely. Grounds for divorce? Maybe. But it's not cheating unless you bring another person into the mix.
i can tell you that emotionally and mentally it tore me up inside. maybe i am weaker than most men when it comes to that but i also didn't want my life to just wither away with someone who didn't desire to be intimate with me.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:57 pm to Lincoln Dawson
What you're describing is not adultery, no matter what kind of mental gymnastics you do to try and rationalize it to yourself.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:57 pm to Lincoln Dawson
It’s not adultery but it’s not honoring either.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:58 pm to Lincoln Dawson
Duh, p in the v.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:58 pm to WDE24
quote:This.
You are trying to stretch the definition of adultery to something it isn’t. The question I have is why? What is your desire to label this as adultery? Is there some benefit to you if people accept your broad definition of adultery?
Im still not clear based on the OPs rambling musing whether his wife fricked around on him or not. My takeaway was that he's labeling her holding out the cooter as adultery. Its not OP.
Fuethermore, youre divorced apparently already anyway. WTF does it matter? Stop dwelling on it. Youve got your kids. Put positive energy into them. If you need it, go find a new woman.
I was engaged for 5 yrs, broke it off on Feb. Im happy, other than the whole lockdown thing being a damper on getting back out there. As a mid 30s baw, its hard to see any real incentive in todays society to get married willy nilly without an air tight prenup.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 1:59 pm to windshieldman
quote:
i could count on two hands and still have enough fingers left over to tell you how many times i would have sex with my wife
quote:
Dude we get it, you’re not a virgin, stop bragging
quote:
windshieldman
this made me laugh. thank you. i really need that and not joking either.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:00 pm to WDE24
quote:
You are trying to stretch the definition of adultery to something it isn’t. The question I have is why?
This. This is a terrible coping mechanism. It reeks of narcissism of the highest order. It didn't work out, and you have to accept it, along with everything else that comes with it. If you're trying to deal with the social embarrassment of divorce, the worst thing you can do is wallow in your own self justification. People are going to judge you either way, no matter what reason you give.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:00 pm to Lincoln Dawson
quote:
i can tell you that emotionally and mentally it tore me up inside. maybe i am weaker than most men when it comes to that but i also didn't want my life to just wither away with someone who didn't desire to be intimate with me
There was a point in my marriage where we were rarely having sex. I blamed her, but in reality it was as much my fault as hers, probably more so. If your only reason for going to bed was to try and have sex with your wife, you were doing it wrong.
This post was edited on 11/18/20 at 2:01 pm
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:01 pm to Lincoln Dawson
quote:
this made me laugh. thank you
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:02 pm to WDE24
quote:
i beleive God made us to have sex with our spouses two to three times per week
quote:
WDE24
quote:
what verse is that
the male body produces a new batch of sperm about every 72 hours; that’s the way God made us men.
if sex with spouse were achieved on average every 72 hours, that would be approximately 2 to 3 times per week.
not a verse, but science.
quote:
I’m just curious why it is important to you to label it as adultery?
it is certainly a different take and i said in another post i do understand what the word adultery means by most people's definition. maybe i could have labeled it differently.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:03 pm to Robin Masters
quote:
It’s not adultery but it’s not honoring either.
this is said better than what i originally said.
honoring. that is a much better word.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:03 pm to Lincoln Dawson
I think we need pics of both parties to aid in determining why she cut you off.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:04 pm to Lincoln Dawson
I think you are handling things the correct way, OP.
Exploring and analyzing your last relationship and the reasons for its success and/or failures is an important step.
You are correct that hopping on tinder will not help your mental health.
I would focus on being the best dad, friend, and worker you can be. Grow closer to God and make decisions on the best way to be fulfilled in this life.
The next relationship will likely be much better.
Exploring and analyzing your last relationship and the reasons for its success and/or failures is an important step.
You are correct that hopping on tinder will not help your mental health.
I would focus on being the best dad, friend, and worker you can be. Grow closer to God and make decisions on the best way to be fulfilled in this life.
The next relationship will likely be much better.
Posted on 11/18/20 at 2:05 pm to WDE24
quote:
Is there some benefit to you if people accept your broad definition of adultery?
It will make him feel better about his divorce if he can chalk her withholding sex up as adultery. Which to me, sounds like the "or worse" part of his vows. And he seems like a religious person so, yes, he should feel badly for bailing.
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