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re: What are your thoughts on people who never have children?
Posted on 9/30/21 at 10:01 pm to Grinder
Posted on 9/30/21 at 10:01 pm to Grinder
Have not had kids and have never regretted the decision. I have plenty of friends who also have no kids or had kids young enough, they can come out to play again. I have 4 nieces/nephews and enjoy them. I do sometimes wonder if having kids would force me to be slightly more optimistic about the future, or just stress me the hell out knowing what they are almost certainly going to endure in the next 50 years. That being said, working in a small business where two other employees have had two kids each within the last 3 years has made me realize how put upon everyone else without kids in the work environment is. I thoroughly enjoy my free time. Just because I don't have to make it home at a certain time doesn't mean I want to be at work at 8 PM, dealing with an increased load due to other's family leave.
This post was edited on 9/30/21 at 10:03 pm
Posted on 9/30/21 at 10:18 pm to kciDAtaE
quote:
So if your fiancée has an accident, left paralyzed and unable to have kids, you are selfish bc you marry her. But if you leave her and knock up some random broad, you are unselfish?
A lot of dumbasses with trouble reading in this thread.
To make my point more clear, there is a specific type of selfishness that you are allowed to have when you don’t have kids. The type that allows you to retreat and not have to face anyone when you are having one of those days. Kids are relentless, you don’t get to have breaks. It can absolutely drive you crazy but the challenge makes you stronger.
Having kids doesn’t make you unselfish at all. shite it makes you more selfish in certain respects as it forces you to look out for you and your own.
I’m not saying they make you a better person, just a more well rounded one.
We are made to have children. It’s not outlandish to say that they help to complete your growth as an individual.
Posted on 9/30/21 at 10:27 pm to Gravitiger
quote:
Every relationship you have with anyone or anything is an opportunity to sacrifice, compromise and put others' needs above your own. You only do it with your kids because it's a social, moral, and legal obligation. If you don't do it, you will be ostracized, feel bad, and/or be legally sanctioned. You could choose to do it with anyone else, too. You just don't, because it's not required or expected.
Holy shite man. No, I don’t take care of my kids because it’s a societal obligation. I feel like my kids needs are my needs. That is the most “life-changing” thing I can describe about children. If they are hungry feed them as if I am hungry
Posted on 9/30/21 at 11:24 pm to Odysseus32
quote:
Curious to get people's thoughts when they come across people in their late 30s or early 40s without kids
My best friend is married with no kids. He’s almost 40. They travel, all sorts of disposable income, carefree life. I get jealous a little sometimes but it goes away. I wouldn’t trade my two kids for anything. They wouldn’t trade their life for me. Everyone is happy in their choices.
I legit get sad when I talk to a few of my married friends who can not have kids. Most of our friend group are late 30s-Early 40s. The three couples who have tried for kids are kind of giving up and it makes me sad. One couple have been married for longer then my wife and I have even known each other and they are still trying for kid #1
Posted on 9/30/21 at 11:33 pm to Odysseus32
Respect for people that choose not to have kids.
Disdain for people who have kids and expect the government to help raise them.
Disdain for people who have kids and expect the government to help raise them.
Posted on 9/30/21 at 11:39 pm to Odysseus32
I would have never got married if I didn’t want kids…don’t see the point. Nobody ever said being a parent is easy, but I would be very lonely even if married without kids… but then again I wouldn’t be married if I couldn’t have kids. I got to leave work today and see half of my sons baseball game, got home, cleaned up, they both fell asleep on the couch with me watching the Bengals game…awesome feeling that can’t be replaced
Posted on 9/30/21 at 11:49 pm to Odysseus32
I have never met an older couple who did not “want” kids and thought “man, you should of have had kids.”
I imagine childless couples’s emotions go in waves of happiness + freedom and loneliness + regret on the subject. Have a friend who is in her 40’s and she has never had kids nor wanted them. At lunch she usually talks about vacation trips with her husband. Kind of jealous. But when the conversation turns to what our kids are doing she just sits there awkwardly silent. I kind of feel bad for her.
My favorite memories in life mostly have my kids in them now and they trump everything I did back in my single bachelor days.
I imagine childless couples’s emotions go in waves of happiness + freedom and loneliness + regret on the subject. Have a friend who is in her 40’s and she has never had kids nor wanted them. At lunch she usually talks about vacation trips with her husband. Kind of jealous. But when the conversation turns to what our kids are doing she just sits there awkwardly silent. I kind of feel bad for her.
My favorite memories in life mostly have my kids in them now and they trump everything I did back in my single bachelor days.
This post was edited on 9/30/21 at 11:51 pm
Posted on 9/30/21 at 11:49 pm to Odysseus32
There are many reasons people don’t have kids.
I don’t have kids. I’ve also never been married. Just not the way my life worked out. But, I have a great family and friends. I think I’ll be ok.
I don’t have kids. I’ve also never been married. Just not the way my life worked out. But, I have a great family and friends. I think I’ll be ok.
Posted on 9/30/21 at 11:58 pm to Odysseus32
My wife and I want children, but not sure it will happen. We have been through 3 miscarriages and it really sucks. We are looking at other options ,but our situation is not so easy. For some people it is not a choice.
Posted on 10/1/21 at 12:07 am to Odysseus32
I just kinda wonder what life feels like when people without children get older? No grandkids no passing traditions to their kids or when death is near and no one is there except maybe a spouse or a old dog? I kinda went off at the end there.
Honestly my wife has no children so to each his own children or not.
Honestly my wife has no children so to each his own children or not.
Posted on 10/1/21 at 12:07 am to Odysseus32
People make their own decisions to which they’re entitled. You don’t know why they don’t have children. Maybe that’s the choice. Maybe the couldn’t conceive. What’s your point?
Posted on 10/1/21 at 12:10 am to Odysseus32
my first thoughts are "who is going to take care of them when they get old"
Posted on 10/1/21 at 12:16 am to Odysseus32
I made a conscious decision to not marry nor have kids based on the downward trajectory of this Nation.
When I was a kid freedom meant something.
We played outside without direct supervision and there was no threat of our parents being fined or jailed over it.
There were no legal reprisals for not being encumbered with safety equipment.
We could play in the rain. We played in woods, creeks, yards, and even the streets but we had the sense to get out of the way of traffic.
We played with darts, knives, BB guns, cap guns, cork guns too. We made or bought bows and arrows. Slingshots and rubber band guns.
Girls did girly things and boys did boy things. Closest thing to cross dressers were clowns.
People understood it took 2 parents to raise a normal well adjusted child Into a normal well adjusted adult.
Women’s Lib and the Nanny State have ruined the entire planet. You are watching as it takes place.
When I was a kid freedom meant something.
We played outside without direct supervision and there was no threat of our parents being fined or jailed over it.
There were no legal reprisals for not being encumbered with safety equipment.
We could play in the rain. We played in woods, creeks, yards, and even the streets but we had the sense to get out of the way of traffic.
We played with darts, knives, BB guns, cap guns, cork guns too. We made or bought bows and arrows. Slingshots and rubber band guns.
Girls did girly things and boys did boy things. Closest thing to cross dressers were clowns.
People understood it took 2 parents to raise a normal well adjusted child Into a normal well adjusted adult.
Women’s Lib and the Nanny State have ruined the entire planet. You are watching as it takes place.
Posted on 10/1/21 at 5:55 am to Dudley Humptyfrats
quote:
I wonder what they do with all that free time and disposable income
We just remodeled our house with it. Not many 48 year-old husbands and 45 year-old wives at the time of their wedding contemplate having kids. We discussed it for about two seconds and decided that we didn't want to be grandparents to our own kid.
Posted on 10/1/21 at 6:23 am to NoHoTiger
quote:
There are many reasons people don’t have kids.
I don’t have kids. I’ve also never been married. Just not the way my life worked out. But, I have a great family and friends. I think I’ll be ok.
This is me. I thought I wanted kids, I thought I’d have kids, but it was not to be. I wish I would have found that special someone and we would have had a kid or 2, but I didn’t s. At least I don’t have 2 kids with Ms. Wrong that I never get to see but still cost me an arm and a leg. I find stuff to do and I finally enjoy being at peace with it. I would been a living parent, but I had a lot of growing up to do myself in my early 40’s to say I would have been a solid provider through the last 10 year. Overall, I’ve accepted how things have worked out and I’m going to make the best of it. Going bike trail riding this weekend and picking up healthy hobbies for a man in his 40’s. That no private school tuition or insurance is going to be put to good use on myself.
This post was edited on 10/1/21 at 6:42 am
Posted on 10/1/21 at 6:53 am to BabyTac
quote:
The wife and I can’t have kids. Sorry some loser on a message board thinks I’m a loser.
Your absolutely NOT a loser, as your a couple that may not be able too conceive.
My parents could not conceive and adopted both my sister and I. She is a year older than me and came from different biological parents.
I can tell you that our bond and love with each other and our adopting parents could not have been stronger if we were biological children. The point is, having children via biology or adoption still results in parenting. And parenting is perhaps the greatest and toughest job of all, as you don't get a redo, a refund, do over, etc. You likely will give more than you get (money, time, etc.), but if your a good parent, the love and bond that you will lifelong receive will far exceed all else you can have in this life, save for your own Faith and the next life in Christ to come. And adoption is like a calling, as your choosing to love and raise a child that needs those in return.
True story. My in laws were unable to conceive and adopted after 15 yrs of marriage. They tried everything medically to conceive. 1 yr after adoption, she gets pregnant and to this day, they have one adopted son and one biological daughter. Again, their bonds could not be stronger. Nothing but love.
Sorry on article length all, but if it helps one or more, it's worth it.
Posted on 10/1/21 at 7:15 am to Traveler
My wife and I had no choice in not having kids. In the long run it was probably the best being we ended up working together and we would move about every year of so to another location. I was a construction super and she ran the office. This would not have been a good life for kids. We love our nieces/nephews and now our great nieces/nephews. Some of them will get our leftover $$ when we both die.
Posted on 10/1/21 at 7:20 am to FLBooGoTigs1
quote:
I just kinda wonder what life feels like when people without children get older? No grandkids no passing traditions to their kids or when death is near and no one is there except maybe a spouse or a old dog?
They will tell you it's the best of life, kids are a burden on your social life and drain you financially. Only sheep have children.
Posted on 10/1/21 at 7:38 am to Odysseus32
Don't care. It has no impact on my life.
Posted on 10/1/21 at 7:40 am to Dragula
quote:
I just kinda wonder what life feels like when people without children get older? No grandkids no passing traditions to their kids or when death is near and no one is there except maybe a spouse or a old dog?
I just turned 43. Never married, no kids. I don’t envy people who have kids. I don’t like long term or permanent attachments to people or places. If I were independently wealthy, I would be a ghost constantly moving from place to place observing the world.
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