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Started By
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re: What are some incredible lies someone has claimed to you?
Posted on 6/10/19 at 3:03 pm to Soup Sammich
Posted on 6/10/19 at 3:03 pm to Soup Sammich
There was an entrepreneur from France with whom our company did business. Nice guy, but he would come up with the most outrageous stories. As most of the people in our company were big football fans, his recurring story was that he played for the London Monarchs of the WLAF. The WLAF did indeed have some Europeans play, but I was positive this guy wasn’t one of them.
One morning we were at the conference room table waiting for everyone else to come in and he started his WLAF shite again. I waited until he finished his story and said “I knew several guys that played and coached in that league. Remind me who the head coach of the Monarchs was?”
Never heard about the WLAF again from him.
One morning we were at the conference room table waiting for everyone else to come in and he started his WLAF shite again. I waited until he finished his story and said “I knew several guys that played and coached in that league. Remind me who the head coach of the Monarchs was?”
Never heard about the WLAF again from him.
0
Posted on 6/10/19 at 3:35 pm to anc
quote:
started dating his sister
quote:
His dad was a Pentecostal preacher and heard me. The guy got in a lot of trouble for lying. I mean, the dad took his belt off right in front of me and beat the kid.
What would Dad have done to you if he knew you were banging lil sis??
Posted on 6/10/19 at 4:07 pm to LSUfanV
quote:
Worked with a guy told me one night that he met this widow woman, they had sex and afterwards she grabbed his junk and held it and clicked for like she was calling a dog. This little dog jumped up on the bed and began to clean off his junk. I said WHAT!?!?! was it at least a female dog?? He said I don't know but I dated her for 2 years just because of the dog. I still don't believe it was a female dog.
This is fantastic.
Posted on 6/10/19 at 5:38 pm to upgrayedd
quote:A coworker was saying that but said that someone told him that they only do that when they do meth.
That girl squirt is just pee
Posted on 6/10/19 at 5:42 pm to Soup Sammich
quote:Sounds like the guy likes your life. You should spice up your stories that you tell him and see what actually sticks.
The same guy has also retold very specific stories about himself that were word for word the same stories I had told him about myself. He has done that twice in meetings with me there. It is so bizarre and I never have the heart to call him out on it.
Posted on 6/10/19 at 5:44 pm to Soup Sammich
This one seems to be all too commonplace. We were interviewing people for our multi-agency unit. Just happened to be the day the Iraqui War started. This guy from Cal-DOJ comes in and tells us (and was serious) that if his pager went off he would have to leave because he was a Seal Team member and was awaiting his orders to be airdropped into Bahrain for some SSS. He never once addressed a question without somehow tying it into his Seal missions.(We handled Child Exploitation/Child Sex Crime cases.)
I guess he didn't realize his condensed military records were part of his DOJ personnel files that we had in front of us. It stated he was an (if my memory is correct and it probably isn't) 90A? in the Army having been discharged a few years before. I had to call our Army contact to find out that his designation was for an Army Supply Specialist. We turned him down.
Found out months later DOJ had to discipline him more than once for yelling out "You've just been arrested by a Navy Seal" every time he made an arrest.
I guess he didn't realize his condensed military records were part of his DOJ personnel files that we had in front of us. It stated he was an (if my memory is correct and it probably isn't) 90A? in the Army having been discharged a few years before. I had to call our Army contact to find out that his designation was for an Army Supply Specialist. We turned him down.
Found out months later DOJ had to discipline him more than once for yelling out "You've just been arrested by a Navy Seal" every time he made an arrest.
Posted on 6/10/19 at 5:52 pm to Soup Sammich
A POS relative (by marriage) kept claiming to his 9 and 10 year old sons that he was an Iraq veteran and hero when in reality he was in jail for drugs.
One of those boys was telling me about his dads time in the service and I just got up and left. It wasn’t my place to say otherwise and I couldn’t stand to hear another second of this lie. Thankfully he was divorced out of the family a couple of years after this. But of course he found someone new and is still spawning offspring.
Thankfully those kids are older now and blessed with a wonderful stepfather and know exactly what kind of shite head their birth father is.
One of those boys was telling me about his dads time in the service and I just got up and left. It wasn’t my place to say otherwise and I couldn’t stand to hear another second of this lie. Thankfully he was divorced out of the family a couple of years after this. But of course he found someone new and is still spawning offspring.
Thankfully those kids are older now and blessed with a wonderful stepfather and know exactly what kind of shite head their birth father is.
Posted on 6/10/19 at 5:59 pm to Soup Sammich
Someone told me “I was a navy seal and ate a baby in Africa”. shite you not. There were other lies but this one stood out
Posted on 6/10/19 at 6:53 pm to Soup Sammich
Someone accused me of sexual harassment once. Can you believe that shite?
Posted on 6/10/19 at 7:01 pm to Soup Sammich
Dude swore he'd made out with Bjork on a balcony in the French Quarter on New Year's Eve. He was 14 years old at the time, max.
Posted on 6/10/19 at 7:01 pm to Pandy Fackler
Had cancer
Daughter ran away
Weather forecaster
Trailer burned
Porked sis n law or something similar
Daughter ran away
Weather forecaster
Trailer burned
Porked sis n law or something similar
Posted on 6/10/19 at 7:12 pm to Soup Sammich
Guy had a Tahoe 215 deck boat with a 6 cylinder mercruiser. It was a nice big heavy boat for a freshwater lake. You could probably carry 10 people on it.
Anyway, I was in the process of putting my 190 FourWinns back together after replacing the transom. I was putting the engine back in it. It’s got a Ford 302 and runs really strong for a little bow rider. It will do a little over 50.
Anyway, guy tells me his Tahoe with the V6 will do over 60. I laugh and ask if it clocked when he dropped it out of a helicopter. He got pissed. I told him boat speedometers are known for being inaccurate and he said they clocked it with a GPS. I just said he had a nice big boat but no way it would run that speed. He said he would show me but he doesn’t run that prop anymore.
The guy told the same lie a couple of years later. I called him out again. I just hate a damn liar. Even if it’s over stupid crap. I mean that boat is in no way built for speed. Why lie about it?
Anyway, I was in the process of putting my 190 FourWinns back together after replacing the transom. I was putting the engine back in it. It’s got a Ford 302 and runs really strong for a little bow rider. It will do a little over 50.
Anyway, guy tells me his Tahoe with the V6 will do over 60. I laugh and ask if it clocked when he dropped it out of a helicopter. He got pissed. I told him boat speedometers are known for being inaccurate and he said they clocked it with a GPS. I just said he had a nice big boat but no way it would run that speed. He said he would show me but he doesn’t run that prop anymore.
The guy told the same lie a couple of years later. I called him out again. I just hate a damn liar. Even if it’s over stupid crap. I mean that boat is in no way built for speed. Why lie about it?
Posted on 6/10/19 at 7:47 pm to Soup Sammich
I work with a guy who claims he makes $300k through the spring and summer cutting grass...with a conventional riding lawn mower. Says he doesnt like zero-turn mowers. He cuts 13-15 yards everyday after 4 o'clock.
Posted on 6/10/19 at 7:54 pm to Soup Sammich
Free beer tomorrow.
Posted on 6/10/19 at 8:31 pm to Soup Sammich
Worked with this crazy Puerto Rican chick who said she used to be a backup dancer for Ricky Martin, and was briefly engaged to an Olympic gold medalist. No names or stories were ever shared, of course. She also insisted all the senior executives wanted to frick her. I should point out she was 40 years old and not hot.
When she got fired, she dropped one more doozy by claiming the women on our team threatened to kill her. I think half the department had to speak to HR that day.
When she got fired, she dropped one more doozy by claiming the women on our team threatened to kill her. I think half the department had to speak to HR that day.
Posted on 6/10/19 at 8:33 pm to IAmNERD
I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard, “I used to kick (insert NFL player’s name) arse but I hurt my knee and had to give it up,” or “I ran a 4 flat 40 before I messed up my knee or ankle.” “I would’ve gone pro, but my coach hated me.”
Parents are great too: “JT says he’ll give us a scholarship and Braxton has a good chance for a scholarship to college once he graduates in 14 years.”
Parents are great too: “JT says he’ll give us a scholarship and Braxton has a good chance for a scholarship to college once he graduates in 14 years.”
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