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Started By
Message
TulaneLSU's Top 10 signs of Portland, OR
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:36 pm
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:36 pm
Dear Friends,
Every city, even the worst of them, has great signs throughout. Sometimes they are in prominent places. Other times you have to search them. Portland is a town of signs and many of those signs are not very pretty right now. It is a city in decline, a city of distrust, dishonor and godless, purposeless revolution. So many of the signs I recently saw were of the most horrible variety and represent the worst in humans. I have documented those in some detail in TulaneLSU's Top 10 signs of civilization in ruin, Portland and TulaneLSU's Top 10 signs of civilization in ruin, Seattle.
Nothing seems to be safe from the vandals.
(ATT’s pro-police campaign?)
WARNING: the following picture is Rated R and only adults are allowed to look at it. Please be advised that its message is not appropriate for adults either.
(R.I.P. Charlie Murphy and Rick James)
(The classic Mitsubishi Starwagon. I would love to get an extended version of this for TulaneLSU's Poorboy Tours of New Orleans.)
Today, however, I want to share with you the better angels watching over this city teetering in the tumult of an identity crisis of whose depths perhaps no city in American is facing. I pray, as I hope you do, that the small signs of hope in Portland will win this time. People seem, however, to focus on, or perhaps, even demonically enjoy the evil, broken, and repulsive more than the good. People did not respond favorably to TulaneLSU's Top 10 signs of Seattle. Perhaps today, we can change that and exalt that which is good.
(the type of liberation theology I can stand)
As I present these photo stories, I beg not for your money like urchins masquerading as journalists looking to have their vacations subsidized. I humbly ask only for your time and attention. And perhaps you will share with us some of your favorite signs in a certain city or place.
Every city, even the worst of them, has great signs throughout. Sometimes they are in prominent places. Other times you have to search them. Portland is a town of signs and many of those signs are not very pretty right now. It is a city in decline, a city of distrust, dishonor and godless, purposeless revolution. So many of the signs I recently saw were of the most horrible variety and represent the worst in humans. I have documented those in some detail in TulaneLSU's Top 10 signs of civilization in ruin, Portland and TulaneLSU's Top 10 signs of civilization in ruin, Seattle.
Nothing seems to be safe from the vandals.
(ATT’s pro-police campaign?)
WARNING: the following picture is Rated R and only adults are allowed to look at it. Please be advised that its message is not appropriate for adults either.
(R.I.P. Charlie Murphy and Rick James)
(The classic Mitsubishi Starwagon. I would love to get an extended version of this for TulaneLSU's Poorboy Tours of New Orleans.)
Today, however, I want to share with you the better angels watching over this city teetering in the tumult of an identity crisis of whose depths perhaps no city in American is facing. I pray, as I hope you do, that the small signs of hope in Portland will win this time. People seem, however, to focus on, or perhaps, even demonically enjoy the evil, broken, and repulsive more than the good. People did not respond favorably to TulaneLSU's Top 10 signs of Seattle. Perhaps today, we can change that and exalt that which is good.
(the type of liberation theology I can stand)
As I present these photo stories, I beg not for your money like urchins masquerading as journalists looking to have their vacations subsidized. I humbly ask only for your time and attention. And perhaps you will share with us some of your favorite signs in a certain city or place.
This post was edited on 8/14/20 at 10:01 pm
13
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:36 pm to TulaneLSU
For now, I leave you with
TulaneLSU’s Top 10 signs of Portland, OR:
10. Jim Fisher Volvo (2108 West Burnside)
Father has driven a Jaguar for as long as I have known him. He prefers sedans only in emerald green. Unlike his son, he does not seem to like American and Japanese-made cars, preferring instead, European craftsmanship, which I think is ridiculous. He has ambivalent words for Mercedes and mostly derogatory words of other European manufacturers, such as BMW, Saab, and Volvo. I believe when he was in college Grandfather gave him a Volvo and it broke down on a ski trip, leaving him stranded on a cold mountain overnight. He tells the story that he left that Volvo on the side of the road and never retrieved it.
Whatever your thoughts on Volvo, I think anyone will be hard pressed to find a more impressive car dealership sign in America than the one at Jim Fisher Volvo. Its massive steel structure and blue color are a landmark of Goose Hollow, a neighborhood whose name derives from a dispute over geese ownership nearly 150 years ago in a commons area there. The dealership goes back to the late 1950s when it became the first Volvo dealership in the PNW. Its five floors allow customers in this rain drenched city to browse without a raincoat.
9. The Schnitz, (1037 SW Broadway)
The major concert halls in American cities usually have splendid marquees and that is no exception here with the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall located downtown, just a Molotov cocktail’s throw from the courthouses around which the recent riots have revolved. This is a sign whose glow is best appreciated at night, but Mother did not let me out at night to explore due to the more portentous riots of the clandestine hours. Just as I did in Seattle, I was able to explore at night once while she showered. I was accosted by a protestor and quickly returned to the room without getting a good photo of this sign illuminated.
This 33 year old sign received a fresh coat of paint and new lights three years ago. The history of the Portland marquee here goes back to 1928, but it lasted just two years. A Paramount sign, as in Paramount Studios, replaced it and remained there until 1984, when the letters reverted to the city’s name again. So the sign really does not have that much history. Nonetheless, its aesthetic alone makes it noteworthy.
8. Fish Grotto, ( 1035 SW Harvey Milk St)
When I think of grottos, two things come to mind. First, the Grotto of Our Lady Lourdes on the Notre Dame campus, where I sat and prayed 40 straight hours while trying to decide where I was called to attend university. And second, the caves in the third worst movie of 2011, Sanctum.
In Portland, a city that seemingly does not care one iota about history or tradition, except to reject it, a mention of the word grotto among old-timers recalls the Fish Grotto. The Fish Grotto was a downtown institution that survived in some form from 1891 through 2014. In a cultured town like New Orleans, such a name would still matter and investors would clamor to grab hold of the name, as the names of the city’s historic institutions carry great cachet. In cultureless Portland, these names mean nothing. Although Huber’s claims to be the city’s oldest restaurant, it does not predate The Fish Grotto, even if it is housed in a building that has had other restaurants longer. Jake’s Famous Crawfish has a decent sign, and it is now the real oldest restaurant in Portland, having opened in 1892. Portlanders have eaten crawfish in restaurants for over a century, though, they historically served them cold and cooked in unseasoned waters, just like the French. Jake’s has added Louisiana flavor, so if you ever eat there, do not assume you are eating as they did 100 years ago.
7. Pier 99, (N Pier 99 St)
I do enjoy a good yacht club, and Pier 99 seems to be Portland’s version of the SYC, although much more modest, and by the look of this sign, cheap. Cheap signs are not always bad, and I found a shine with this sign. It has a very particular 70s PNW vibe to it that I can appreciate.
6. Quarterworld, (4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd)
Nothing was as sad as a young boy as being dropped off at Fun Arcade on Veterans while Mother and father went shopping at Lakeside. I hated it, realizing I could find more profit in time spent sleeping than staring at a video game. Still, I learned to accept those rare occasions and practice my eye-hand coordination on Street Fighter II, TMNT, and Off Road, which had those fun steering wheels and that smiling man in the red helmet who gave you a thumbs up as you put your quarters in the machine. I would enter that arcade, slather my hands in some tea tree oil and put on my racing gloves. Watch out, Metairie boys. Uptown showed you how to do it. And yes, I became a legend of sorts, a real life wizard on Off Road. Some of you may remember a certain tall seven year old dominating the races in the early 90s there. That was I.
What will become of the arcade now that monetary metal change is on the endangered money list? That remains to be seen at QuarterWorld, an arcade that hosts parties and rents old video games to nostalgic video game lovers, who are quite pathetic in their own right. I suspect such people are the same as those who love watching Pawn Stars and posting conspiracy theories on PT and the OT. QuarterWorld and its sign grab that 80s and 90s vibe of video excitement some of you felt at Celebration Station, Lakeside, and Don Carter’s. It does not hurt that Portland’s best pizza, Apizza Scholls is next door.
5. The Bagdad Theater, (3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd)
Another Hawthorne landmark, the Bagdad Theater opened in 1927, the same year as the great Mississippi River flood. It once had a single theater that held 1500, operating as both a music concert hall, classical of course, and moving picture hall. It even hosted the world premier of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The McMenamin family purchased the building in 1991, transforming it into a theater and a restaurant. The building maintains a fabulous facade and placard.
TulaneLSU’s Top 10 signs of Portland, OR:
10. Jim Fisher Volvo (2108 West Burnside)
Father has driven a Jaguar for as long as I have known him. He prefers sedans only in emerald green. Unlike his son, he does not seem to like American and Japanese-made cars, preferring instead, European craftsmanship, which I think is ridiculous. He has ambivalent words for Mercedes and mostly derogatory words of other European manufacturers, such as BMW, Saab, and Volvo. I believe when he was in college Grandfather gave him a Volvo and it broke down on a ski trip, leaving him stranded on a cold mountain overnight. He tells the story that he left that Volvo on the side of the road and never retrieved it.
Whatever your thoughts on Volvo, I think anyone will be hard pressed to find a more impressive car dealership sign in America than the one at Jim Fisher Volvo. Its massive steel structure and blue color are a landmark of Goose Hollow, a neighborhood whose name derives from a dispute over geese ownership nearly 150 years ago in a commons area there. The dealership goes back to the late 1950s when it became the first Volvo dealership in the PNW. Its five floors allow customers in this rain drenched city to browse without a raincoat.
9. The Schnitz, (1037 SW Broadway)
The major concert halls in American cities usually have splendid marquees and that is no exception here with the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall located downtown, just a Molotov cocktail’s throw from the courthouses around which the recent riots have revolved. This is a sign whose glow is best appreciated at night, but Mother did not let me out at night to explore due to the more portentous riots of the clandestine hours. Just as I did in Seattle, I was able to explore at night once while she showered. I was accosted by a protestor and quickly returned to the room without getting a good photo of this sign illuminated.
This 33 year old sign received a fresh coat of paint and new lights three years ago. The history of the Portland marquee here goes back to 1928, but it lasted just two years. A Paramount sign, as in Paramount Studios, replaced it and remained there until 1984, when the letters reverted to the city’s name again. So the sign really does not have that much history. Nonetheless, its aesthetic alone makes it noteworthy.
8. Fish Grotto, ( 1035 SW Harvey Milk St)
When I think of grottos, two things come to mind. First, the Grotto of Our Lady Lourdes on the Notre Dame campus, where I sat and prayed 40 straight hours while trying to decide where I was called to attend university. And second, the caves in the third worst movie of 2011, Sanctum.
In Portland, a city that seemingly does not care one iota about history or tradition, except to reject it, a mention of the word grotto among old-timers recalls the Fish Grotto. The Fish Grotto was a downtown institution that survived in some form from 1891 through 2014. In a cultured town like New Orleans, such a name would still matter and investors would clamor to grab hold of the name, as the names of the city’s historic institutions carry great cachet. In cultureless Portland, these names mean nothing. Although Huber’s claims to be the city’s oldest restaurant, it does not predate The Fish Grotto, even if it is housed in a building that has had other restaurants longer. Jake’s Famous Crawfish has a decent sign, and it is now the real oldest restaurant in Portland, having opened in 1892. Portlanders have eaten crawfish in restaurants for over a century, though, they historically served them cold and cooked in unseasoned waters, just like the French. Jake’s has added Louisiana flavor, so if you ever eat there, do not assume you are eating as they did 100 years ago.
7. Pier 99, (N Pier 99 St)
I do enjoy a good yacht club, and Pier 99 seems to be Portland’s version of the SYC, although much more modest, and by the look of this sign, cheap. Cheap signs are not always bad, and I found a shine with this sign. It has a very particular 70s PNW vibe to it that I can appreciate.
6. Quarterworld, (4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd)
Nothing was as sad as a young boy as being dropped off at Fun Arcade on Veterans while Mother and father went shopping at Lakeside. I hated it, realizing I could find more profit in time spent sleeping than staring at a video game. Still, I learned to accept those rare occasions and practice my eye-hand coordination on Street Fighter II, TMNT, and Off Road, which had those fun steering wheels and that smiling man in the red helmet who gave you a thumbs up as you put your quarters in the machine. I would enter that arcade, slather my hands in some tea tree oil and put on my racing gloves. Watch out, Metairie boys. Uptown showed you how to do it. And yes, I became a legend of sorts, a real life wizard on Off Road. Some of you may remember a certain tall seven year old dominating the races in the early 90s there. That was I.
What will become of the arcade now that monetary metal change is on the endangered money list? That remains to be seen at QuarterWorld, an arcade that hosts parties and rents old video games to nostalgic video game lovers, who are quite pathetic in their own right. I suspect such people are the same as those who love watching Pawn Stars and posting conspiracy theories on PT and the OT. QuarterWorld and its sign grab that 80s and 90s vibe of video excitement some of you felt at Celebration Station, Lakeside, and Don Carter’s. It does not hurt that Portland’s best pizza, Apizza Scholls is next door.
5. The Bagdad Theater, (3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd)
Another Hawthorne landmark, the Bagdad Theater opened in 1927, the same year as the great Mississippi River flood. It once had a single theater that held 1500, operating as both a music concert hall, classical of course, and moving picture hall. It even hosted the world premier of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The McMenamin family purchased the building in 1991, transforming it into a theater and a restaurant. The building maintains a fabulous facade and placard.
This post was edited on 8/14/20 at 9:54 pm
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:36 pm to TulaneLSU
4. White Stag sign, (70 NW Couch Street)
As the Pike Street Market sign is iconic and one of the first images one associates with Seattle, this historic sign is Seattle’s sister city’s version. The very few films set in the boring and flavorless town of Portland always use this sign in at least one scene. The signage has had four forms, and only since 2010 has it read Portland, Oregon. Initially it advertised White Satin Sugar (1940-1957).
From 1957 through 1997 it advertised White Stag, an apparel store from Portland. Those of you whose parents bought your school clothes at Walmart may know that label, as the giant bought out White Stag in 2003. It was really White Stag that popularized this sign, by adding a stag filled with white light bulbs. At Christmas, it became Rudolph, with a rednose, which became every bit as important to Portlanders as Mr. Bingle for us as a symbol for Christmas. Speaking of Mr. Bingle, my Christopher Radko ornament of him from this New Year’s sale at Dillard’s is beautiful and I cannot wait to decorate with it in a few months. From 1997-2010 the sign changed wording to “Made in Portland,” while keeping the white stag. It was not until 2010 that it took its current form, another reminder that few things in Portland are historically preserved. In fact, it almost took on the words “University of Oregon.” Only after a bitter fight did the city avoid branding by that, the most tacky university in the world, whose Joey Heisman campaign in Times Square was one of the low points in this millennium.
3. Hung Far Low, (112 Northwest 4th Avenue)
Literally translated, “almond blossom fragrance,” Hung Far Low opened in 1928 in the Chinese district of the city, which today has very few vestiges of its Eastern past. It moved locations in 2005 before closing in 2015. The original restaurant’s sign was in disrepair in the early 2000s, and removed for safe keeping. The city of Portland spent nearly $50,000 to have the sign restored and reinstalled, perhaps Portland city government’s best investment in the last two decades. The sign is beautiful and stands as a testament to what was once a thriving Chinatown.
2. Pendleton Woolen Mills, (210 NW Broadway)
For Christmas of 2005, a difficult Christmas for obvious reasons, Mother gave me one of my favorite presents, a Zion National Park Pendleton Woolen Mills blanket. It was one of those token gifts that represented she was also taking me out west to Zion, which was a marvelous trip, whose details I may share with you later. The blanket, of course, is of the highest craftsmanship, making good use of American bred sheep, which are heartier and have softer wool than their Scottish, Australian, New Zealand, and Argentinian counterparts.
When we came to the Pendleton sign in downtown Portland above the company’s home store, I was thrilled. “Mother! Look! It’s Pendleton!! The same wool from the Christmas blanket of 2005! May we please, please, please look around the store?” Mother nodded, but when we tried to find the door, it, along with all its windows, were boarded in plywood. Thanks again, you vandals.
The company finds its origins in 1863 when Thomas Kay moved to the small frontier town of Pendleton, about 200 miles due east of Portland, just south of the big curve in the Columbia near Kennewick. There he blended British weaving techniques with the striking colors and patterns of local Native American tribes. The mill sold blankets and heavy robes to the many local tribes. The company had a particularly special relationship with the Nez Perce Indians, whose leader, Chief Joseph, had a Pendleton trade blanket and was famously photographed wearing it. Over the next century, the company expanded to selling clothing, and the prototype of the Pacific Northwestern look of flannel shirt with a wool cap, comes from Pendleton.
All I can say is you will not find rugged warm not-water-proof outdoor gear that is not made by Pendleton in my wardrobe.
1. Portland Outdoor Store, (304 SW 3rd Ave)
Opened in 1919, this historic shop servicing the frontiersmen of a frontier town is derelict and charming. Somehow, in a town of Teslas, electric scooters, and public transportation, this Western saddle and cowboy boot shop hangs on to its existence. But I wonder for how long. It is an anomaly in the city, a relic of a time long passed, almost like Meyer the Hatter on St. Charles Avenue, but with a much grimmer future, I fear. I had the honor to enter the store and share a short conversation with one of the workers, who was extremely helpful, cheerful, and delighted to welcome a New Orleanian to his store. I did not stay long, as I feared for my safety, as the sound of bullhorns increased in the distance. Before leaving, I did compliment the excellent sign and prayed for the building and the success of the business.
Faith, Hope, and Love,
TulaneLSU
P.S. Some will argue for the inclusion of Portland staples like Powell’s and Voodoo, whose donuts are not close to as good as those at Tastee on Loyola in Kenner, but a quick look at those signs shows they do not deserve a place in the Top 10.
As the Pike Street Market sign is iconic and one of the first images one associates with Seattle, this historic sign is Seattle’s sister city’s version. The very few films set in the boring and flavorless town of Portland always use this sign in at least one scene. The signage has had four forms, and only since 2010 has it read Portland, Oregon. Initially it advertised White Satin Sugar (1940-1957).
From 1957 through 1997 it advertised White Stag, an apparel store from Portland. Those of you whose parents bought your school clothes at Walmart may know that label, as the giant bought out White Stag in 2003. It was really White Stag that popularized this sign, by adding a stag filled with white light bulbs. At Christmas, it became Rudolph, with a rednose, which became every bit as important to Portlanders as Mr. Bingle for us as a symbol for Christmas. Speaking of Mr. Bingle, my Christopher Radko ornament of him from this New Year’s sale at Dillard’s is beautiful and I cannot wait to decorate with it in a few months. From 1997-2010 the sign changed wording to “Made in Portland,” while keeping the white stag. It was not until 2010 that it took its current form, another reminder that few things in Portland are historically preserved. In fact, it almost took on the words “University of Oregon.” Only after a bitter fight did the city avoid branding by that, the most tacky university in the world, whose Joey Heisman campaign in Times Square was one of the low points in this millennium.
3. Hung Far Low, (112 Northwest 4th Avenue)
Literally translated, “almond blossom fragrance,” Hung Far Low opened in 1928 in the Chinese district of the city, which today has very few vestiges of its Eastern past. It moved locations in 2005 before closing in 2015. The original restaurant’s sign was in disrepair in the early 2000s, and removed for safe keeping. The city of Portland spent nearly $50,000 to have the sign restored and reinstalled, perhaps Portland city government’s best investment in the last two decades. The sign is beautiful and stands as a testament to what was once a thriving Chinatown.
2. Pendleton Woolen Mills, (210 NW Broadway)
For Christmas of 2005, a difficult Christmas for obvious reasons, Mother gave me one of my favorite presents, a Zion National Park Pendleton Woolen Mills blanket. It was one of those token gifts that represented she was also taking me out west to Zion, which was a marvelous trip, whose details I may share with you later. The blanket, of course, is of the highest craftsmanship, making good use of American bred sheep, which are heartier and have softer wool than their Scottish, Australian, New Zealand, and Argentinian counterparts.
When we came to the Pendleton sign in downtown Portland above the company’s home store, I was thrilled. “Mother! Look! It’s Pendleton!! The same wool from the Christmas blanket of 2005! May we please, please, please look around the store?” Mother nodded, but when we tried to find the door, it, along with all its windows, were boarded in plywood. Thanks again, you vandals.
The company finds its origins in 1863 when Thomas Kay moved to the small frontier town of Pendleton, about 200 miles due east of Portland, just south of the big curve in the Columbia near Kennewick. There he blended British weaving techniques with the striking colors and patterns of local Native American tribes. The mill sold blankets and heavy robes to the many local tribes. The company had a particularly special relationship with the Nez Perce Indians, whose leader, Chief Joseph, had a Pendleton trade blanket and was famously photographed wearing it. Over the next century, the company expanded to selling clothing, and the prototype of the Pacific Northwestern look of flannel shirt with a wool cap, comes from Pendleton.
All I can say is you will not find rugged warm not-water-proof outdoor gear that is not made by Pendleton in my wardrobe.
1. Portland Outdoor Store, (304 SW 3rd Ave)
Opened in 1919, this historic shop servicing the frontiersmen of a frontier town is derelict and charming. Somehow, in a town of Teslas, electric scooters, and public transportation, this Western saddle and cowboy boot shop hangs on to its existence. But I wonder for how long. It is an anomaly in the city, a relic of a time long passed, almost like Meyer the Hatter on St. Charles Avenue, but with a much grimmer future, I fear. I had the honor to enter the store and share a short conversation with one of the workers, who was extremely helpful, cheerful, and delighted to welcome a New Orleanian to his store. I did not stay long, as I feared for my safety, as the sound of bullhorns increased in the distance. Before leaving, I did compliment the excellent sign and prayed for the building and the success of the business.
Faith, Hope, and Love,
TulaneLSU
P.S. Some will argue for the inclusion of Portland staples like Powell’s and Voodoo, whose donuts are not close to as good as those at Tastee on Loyola in Kenner, but a quick look at those signs shows they do not deserve a place in the Top 10.
This post was edited on 8/14/20 at 9:54 pm
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:37 pm to TulaneLSU
Boom I got your trick there buddy.
This post was edited on 8/14/20 at 9:38 pm
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:37 pm to TulaneLSU
a
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:37 pm to TulaneLSU
B
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:37 pm to hombreman9
C
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:37 pm to TulaneLSU
F
Can’t wait!
Can’t wait!
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:37 pm to Finchboyz
D
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:39 pm to TulaneLSU
Friend,
There appears to be a glitch in the Matrix.
There appears to be a glitch in the Matrix.
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:40 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Portland, OR
Hanging out with the antifa riff raff I see
I’m calling mother
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:41 pm to TulaneLSU
Friend, have you finally lost it? I hope mother checks on you soon.
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:43 pm to TulaneLSU
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:44 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Portland, OR
Great town
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:47 pm to TulaneLSU
That Mitsubishi Delica Starwagon is amazing!
This post was edited on 8/14/20 at 9:48 pm
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:50 pm to TulaneLSU
Portland is a shithole.
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:53 pm to TulaneLSU
Gas me Teddy, baw.
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:54 pm to TulaneLSU
Posted on 8/14/20 at 9:58 pm to TulaneLSU
Did you seriously not blur out or give a warning for the vulgarity?
Posted on 8/14/20 at 10:00 pm to TulaneLSU
I would like Quarterworld.
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