re: Trolling the SO

quote:

---

FOURTY years later, and 20 years after the divorce, I get this really irritated ex call me and tell me she just embarrassed herself in front of her co-workers when they began to talk about the pecan orchards near their workplace..............

---

I appreciate the long game.

Many years ago I was heading to Tarpon Rodeo and unplugged the TV at our apartment at the time because some storms were suppose to roll through and I wouldn't be there.

wife calls me asking whats wrong with the TV. I was being coached, but I told her that the remote must have overheated and there were a few steps she could take to try and reset it. At first i had her hold down all the even numbers, then all the odd numbers, obviously nothing worked. We then told her to put the remote in the freezer for a few minutes. She reluctantly did it and called back about 30 seconds later when she realized how silly it was

phone call went something like this

me: did it work?!
her: go frick yourself /hang up

quote:

---

Yall got any other good ones?

---

Other requires an initial good one so no.

quote:

---

She's smart by all measurable metrics. 4.0 throughout undergrad and MBA, 730-something GMAT, 29 ACT. Almost every girl I've dated in the past 10 years has had a graduate degree, one with a degree in physics and a master's in math, one doctor, two well known and respected internationally with a PhD. I wouldn't say I date dumb girls. I date up for sure.

---

Yeah but did you check their knuckles first?

I made my wife think the Sun and the Moon were the same thing.

It just dimmed at nighttime.

Any time my wife makes a sandwich I like a hole in it when she isnt looking.




Any time she gets really angry, I get in her face and lick her nose. She gets so pissed she starts laughing.

quote:

---

If you roll over the road reflectors, it turns them off. Watch...”

She turns around to look out the rear window - “Oh yeah, they do!”

---

I'm so trying this one. I bet she falls for it

I convinced an ex gf that cheese was formed by accumulation in the udder of cows over time and that they had to kill them to get it out.

quote:

---

have one: my gf just didn't understand why my knuckles were different every time I came home from sonic.

---

Mine thinks I'm a harbinger of doom because apparently I'm always at a random location days before something terrible happens there

quote:

---

And your lady probably doesn't brag about dating a boring, unimaginative person either. She's smart by all measurable metrics. 4.0 throughout undergrad and MBA, 730-something GMAT, 29 ACT. Almost every girl I've dated in the past 10 years has had a graduate degree, one with a degree in physics and a master's in math, one doctor, two well known and respected internationally with a PhD. I wouldn't say I date dumb girls. I date up for sure. Women just don't have common sense.

---

Nice try. But no smart, self-respecting woman would date someone who legitimately holds the opinion "women don't have common sense".

I also find it hard to believe that a 4.0 student with a graduate degree would go months believing someone could start their car with a unique clapping sequence.

You date dumb girls, it's fine. Probably suits you well, don't be ashamed of that.