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Started By
Message
re: Tell us your best bad joke
Posted on 8/11/16 at 3:45 pm to Chad504boy
Posted on 8/11/16 at 3:45 pm to Chad504boy
The Louisiana State Police had received numerous reports of illegal cock fighting being held in the area around Abbeville and had sent their famous Detective Boudreaux to investigate. Boudreaux promptly began his investigation and then reported to his Commander the next morning.
"Dey is tree main groups involve in dis rooster Fightin", he began.
"Good work! Who are they?" the Commander asked.
Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Texas Aggies, de local Cajuns, and de Demcratic Natnal Char from N'awlins".
Puzzled, the Commander asked, "Now Boudreaux, how did you find all that out in one night?"
"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dat rooster fight in person. And I knowed immediately dat dem Aggies was involved when a Duck was entered in the fight."
The Commander nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about the others?"
Boudreaux nodded knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when sumbody bet on de duck!"
"Ah, I see, I see ... " sighed the sergeant, "And how did you figure the DNC was involved?"
"De duck won!"
"Dey is tree main groups involve in dis rooster Fightin", he began.
"Good work! Who are they?" the Commander asked.
Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Texas Aggies, de local Cajuns, and de Demcratic Natnal Char from N'awlins".
Puzzled, the Commander asked, "Now Boudreaux, how did you find all that out in one night?"
"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dat rooster fight in person. And I knowed immediately dat dem Aggies was involved when a Duck was entered in the fight."
The Commander nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about the others?"
Boudreaux nodded knowingly, "Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when sumbody bet on de duck!"
"Ah, I see, I see ... " sighed the sergeant, "And how did you figure the DNC was involved?"
"De duck won!"
This post was edited on 8/11/16 at 3:46 pm
2
Posted on 8/11/16 at 3:46 pm to Chad504boy
What do you call it when a tree branch starts dying?
Hanging out with a bunch of figs
Hanging out with a bunch of figs
Posted on 8/11/16 at 3:51 pm to Clyde Tipton
1. Think of the first letter of your name
2. Think of an animal that starts with that letter
3. If that animal eats meat, think of an odd number. If not think of an even number.
4. Multiply that number by three and see if I guess the number
Answer: if you did steps 1-4 you're queer
2. Think of an animal that starts with that letter
3. If that animal eats meat, think of an odd number. If not think of an even number.
4. Multiply that number by three and see if I guess the number
Answer: if you did steps 1-4 you're queer
Posted on 8/11/16 at 3:51 pm to Clyde Tipton
Boudreaux and his fly swatter:
Marie walked into de kitchen & saw Boudreaux with a fly killer (Swatter).
She axe him, “Any Luck”?
He said, “Yah, tree males and two females”.
Marie axed, “Mais chere, how can ya tell em apart”?
Boudreaux said, “Mais dats easy…tree were on dat beer can and two were on de telephome”.
Marie walked into de kitchen & saw Boudreaux with a fly killer (Swatter).
She axe him, “Any Luck”?
He said, “Yah, tree males and two females”.
Marie axed, “Mais chere, how can ya tell em apart”?
Boudreaux said, “Mais dats easy…tree were on dat beer can and two were on de telephome”.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 3:52 pm to KajunGator
I just remember reading that a long time ago. Hell, carry on. I'm not offended.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 3:54 pm to theunknownknight
Son of a gun, I'm queer.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 3:57 pm to Breadstick Gun
How do you camouflage and elephant?
Paint its toenails red and hide them in a cherry tree.
Have you ever seen an elephant in cherry tree?
Works doesn't it
Paint its toenails red and hide them in a cherry tree.
Have you ever seen an elephant in cherry tree?
Works doesn't it
Posted on 8/11/16 at 3:58 pm to Gorilla Fingers
quote:
Son of a gun, I'm queer.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:01 pm to InfantryDawg
quote:
Civilians will never appreciate a good dead baby joke.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:03 pm to KajunGator
The best thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:06 pm to ssgrice
What do you do with an elephant that has three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.
Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:06 pm to theunknownknight
How do you kill a thousand flies?
Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a skillet.
How do you get an Ethiopian pregnant?
Cum on the floor and let the flies do the rest.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
Quarter Pounder with Cheese
Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a skillet.
How do you get an Ethiopian pregnant?
Cum on the floor and let the flies do the rest.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
Quarter Pounder with Cheese
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:07 pm to InfantryDawg
quote:
The best thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.
Shame on me, but I did
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:09 pm to Nado Jenkins83
A black guy walks in a bar and orders a vodka. Agitated, the bartender responds we don't serve your kind here." In a rage of anger the black guy storms out.
Ten minutes later, a Jewish man walks in a bar and orders a fireball. Again agitated, the bartender responds we don't serve your kind here." In a fury, the Jew storms out.
30 minutes later, a Mexican dude walks in a bar and orders a tequila. Outright angry, the bartender responds we don't serve your kind here." In hissy, the Mexican leaves.
The next day the ALCU shows up to press charges and demands the bartender defend himself.
Calmly, the bartender gathers himself and responds "we only serve whites"
Ten minutes later, a Jewish man walks in a bar and orders a fireball. Again agitated, the bartender responds we don't serve your kind here." In a fury, the Jew storms out.
30 minutes later, a Mexican dude walks in a bar and orders a tequila. Outright angry, the bartender responds we don't serve your kind here." In hissy, the Mexican leaves.
The next day the ALCU shows up to press charges and demands the bartender defend himself.
Calmly, the bartender gathers himself and responds "we only serve whites"
This post was edited on 8/11/16 at 4:13 pm
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:11 pm to fishfighter
You should not feel guilty. Anything can be funny if we stop taking ourselves so seriously.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:17 pm to Breadstick Gun
Wow, your child is smart ... really, smart.
Dad, "Yes, he is. He gets it's from his father .... and when I meet that guy, I'm going to thank him."
Dad, "Yes, he is. He gets it's from his father .... and when I meet that guy, I'm going to thank him."
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:21 pm to Fat Man
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Be safe. Assume she dyed her hair...and dive for cover.
Be safe. Assume she dyed her hair...and dive for cover.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:21 pm to Breadstick Gun
Why are pills white?
Because they work.
Because they work.
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:24 pm to DownSouthCrawfish
Why are black eyes black?
To remind us that black is bad
To remind us that black is bad
This post was edited on 8/11/16 at 4:25 pm
Posted on 8/11/16 at 4:28 pm to DownSouthCrawfish
What's black and white and red all over, and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a javelin through her head.
A nun with a javelin through her head.
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