re: Tell us your best bad joke

If you're INSANE

A woman got up one morning to drive to work. She carefully backed out of her driveway and drove the speed limit safely yielding to pedestrians and other cars always paying attention to the road.

In time, she happened upon an intersection. Having a green light she safely went to proceed. In a flash, however, she was suddenly smashed in the side by a good ole' baw liquored up on cocaine laced tequila.

After impact, the ole baw proceeded to jump from his vehicle, pull the woman out of her car by her hair and defecate on her face. In minutes the police show up to sort out the wreckage.

The question is, who's at fault?




















The woman...for being out of the kitchen.

quote:

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A guy decides that it is time to buy a new suit. Not wanting to spend a lot of money, he goes to a suit store known for good prices. The store employee selects a suit for the man and the man tries it on in the dressing room before stepping out and in front of a mirror. "What do you think?" says the employee. "Well," says the man, "it appears to be a little long in the sleeves."

"Thats fine," says the employee, "you just pull the sleeve up a little and then cinch it by holding the sleeve against your side. That way no one will notice." The employee then pulls up the sleeve and pushes the man's arm against his side to keep the sleeve in place. "Okay, but the other sleeve?" asked the man, "Do I do the same for the other sleeve?" "Yes," says the employee as he pulls the sleeve up then pushes the man's arm against his side to hold that sleeve in place. "There, no one will notice," says the employee.

The man looks more at himself in the mirror. "Well," the man says, "the pants also look a little long too." "Thats fine too, " says the employee, "you just pull up the pant leg and then bend over some and hold the pant leg in place." The employee pulls up the man's pant leg to the proper length and tells the man to bend over and press his elbow into the side of the pant to hold it in place. The man does so with a little trouble at first but soon he is able to hold the pant leg in place while bending over and pressing his elbow against the side of the pant leg.

"What about the other pant leg?" asks the man. "Well," says the employee before the man interrupts him. "Let me guess," says the man, "I just pull up that pant leg and cinch it by holding it against my side with my elbow too?" "Exactly," says the employee, "you are catching on." The employee then pulls up the other pant leg to the proper length and the man then holds it in place by pressing his elbow against the side of the pant. "There, all done," says the employee, "now, you just keep doing what you are doing and your suit will fit just fine as is."

The man pays for the suit and wears it out of the store. He walks down the sidewalk while bending over with his arms pressed against his sides to hold his sleeves in place and pressed against the sides of his pants to hold his pants in place. Two women notice the man and the odd shape he is in and the difficulty he has while walking. "My word," says one woman, "look at the shape that poor old man is in." The other woman responds "Yea, but his suit sure looks good."

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frick YOU!

A man walks in to a bar yells "bartender give me a shot of Vodka, a shot of Bourbon and a shot of Tequila"
Bartender pours the shots and the man immediately downs them.

the man again yells at the bartender "bartender give me a shot of Vodka, a shot of Bourbon and a shot of Tequila"

Bartender pours the shots and the man downs them.

The bartender asks why he was drinking like that.
the man replies "I had my first blowjob tonight"

The bartender says "Oh celebrating?"

The man replies "No just trying to get the taste out of my mouth."

Dude, you're like 0-7 in this thread...

Stop

What did the black boy get for Christmas?


My bike

What did the female frog say to the other female frog sitting on the lily pad? You know what it does taste like Chicken !

What kind of overalls does Mario wear?











Denham denham denham

What do you call an Ethiopian taking a shite?

A show off

Why do 3 of 4 people use smartphones while driving?
Someone has to honk when the light turns green