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re: So we were discussing the UPS/Fedex drivers who have to pick up those cologuard boxes
Posted on 3/25/25 at 2:04 pm to RoosterCogburn585
Posted on 3/25/25 at 2:04 pm to RoosterCogburn585
I think the drivers are just fine. Now, as for the poor entry level lab tech that has to catalog and process all those turds, that’s a different matter.
0
Posted on 3/25/25 at 2:06 pm to Cheese Grits
Or just turn the toilet water off at the valve and flush the toilet to empty the bowl.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 2:17 pm to SuperSaint
Shi. In a box
Posted on 3/25/25 at 4:30 pm to jbgleason
quote:
the False Positive is astronomical.
This. My doc said just do the colonoscopy and skip the false positive interim step.
I only know one buddy who did this poop in a box and, sure enough, got flagged as a cancer risk and had to do the colonoscopy. Results were clean as a whistle.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 4:37 pm to RoosterCogburn585
I leave the box open for FedEx so the turd can properly dry
Posted on 3/25/25 at 4:38 pm to RoosterCogburn585
quote:
And drive around with them on a hot summer day, how bad that's got to stink
if the directions are followed correctly, the sample is sealed in a heavy PVC container inside a sealed bag, within a sealed box. Nothing is going to be noticeable.
IF DIRECTIONS ARE FOLLOWED CORRECTLY
Posted on 3/25/25 at 4:39 pm to clamdip
quote:
I only know one buddy who did this poop in a box and, sure enough, got flagged as a cancer risk and had to do the colonoscopy. Results were clean as a whistle.
mine was negative. Guess it all evens out.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 4:44 pm to jbgleason
quote:
failure rate is high
At least you are not being sodomized with a foreign object
Posted on 3/25/25 at 4:46 pm to slidingstop
quote:
IF DIRECTIONS ARE FOLLOWED CORRECTLY
Posted on 3/25/25 at 4:47 pm to LRB1967
I read way too much of this thread before I figured it out. 
Posted on 3/25/25 at 6:09 pm to Cheese Grits
quote:
More important thing you should be discussing is why are you letting your insurance con you into a test with such a high error rate? Butt cancer is slow and needs to be caught early.
Had this discussion with my Dr. of internal medicine I go to regularly. He said the frequency of errors with these type tests pretty much renders them useless and he highly recommended just getting a colonoscopy and be done with it.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 6:23 pm to Cheese Grits
The real con is letting them stick a camera up your arse
Posted on 3/25/25 at 6:58 pm to RoosterCogburn585
My wife had her kit fedex-ed to us and I was home to receive it. The driver was was a good ole baw and gave me a ten minute tutorial on when to send it in—never on the weekend and not past Thursday morning. He tried to made it sound like he was looking out for a reliable sample to be submitted, but I know he was really protecting his homies back at the sorting facility from from that shite sitting around all weekend.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 8:42 pm to clamdip
quote:
I only know one buddy who did this poop in a box and, sure enough, got flagged as a cancer risk and had to do the colonoscopy.
Also, insurance will often only pay for one of these. So, if they pay for the Cologuard test and then you have to have a colonoscopy anyway, insurance won’t cover it. You could end up paying for the colonoscopy out of pocket.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 9:39 pm to bad93ex
I was a UPS driver in the 90’s when that movie was filmed in Miami. The scene where he was driving and caught the bullet in his teeth was on my route.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 10:29 pm to jbgleason
While the false positive can be a pain in the arse, the false negative can be devastating. You get a test back saying negative and you think all good, but meanwhile the cancer that was not detected is growing unchecked.
Posted on 3/25/25 at 10:35 pm to RoosterCogburn585
You obviously have no clue about this at all. You have not used the Cologuard service, and you are talking out of your arse.
Its not my job to educate you.
Its not my job to educate you.
Posted on 3/26/25 at 12:42 am to OysterPoBoy
quote:
What about the guy back at the factory that has to open them all day?
Meanwhile, at the Cologuard factory...
Posted on 3/26/25 at 4:15 am to RoosterCogburn585
quote:
And drive around with them on a hot summer day, how bad that's got to stink. Off of that topic we stumbled on to whether if you froze the contents before shipping, would it get rid of the smell? That takes us to the final scientific question, would/does a frozen turd stink?
How you think the box feels…(Possibly NSFW Language)
Posted on 3/26/25 at 4:24 am to Tarps99
Here is a Woody Harrelson SNL spoof:
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