- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Coaching Changes
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Single folks: how are you content being alone?
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:37 pm to sidewalkside
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:37 pm to sidewalkside
quote:
Not reading all that...
quote:
sidewalkside
Don’t start anymore threads, then. You expect people to read your drivel? It wasn’t even that long.
1
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:38 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
I’ve always thrived knowing someone else gave a shite about me in that way
Speaking from my personal experience, this is what you have to get over, or you're just going to head right back into another dysfunctional relationship.
When I first got divorced, I felt pretty much like any happy life I could have hoped for was over. And I moped and suffered for a long time. Then, I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I just made a decision to start enjoying my freedom. Do whatever I wanted. Go wherever I wanted. Date whatever I wanted (no homo).
I wasn't doing cartwheels of joy, but I was actually adjusted to being single again and realized that I couldn't be with anyone again. I wanted my own room, my own stuff, and no worries with relationship crap. And saving lots of cash.
And then when I least wanted it, I met someone. And my relationship now is totally different than before. Much healthier and everything is better. But honestly, sometimes I miss having the whole house to myself.
My point I guess, when you get to the point where you don't feel like you NEED anyone else to be happy, and you can find it completely alone, is the best time, and usually the actual time, you will meet someone. Good luck brother.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:43 pm to TexasTiger08
After being with the same person for 30 years, ending up alone is just awful. Still have very bad days…. I just try to stay busy. I don’t feel like being with other people at all. Not ready for any kind of relationship. But I’m staying sober and physical help is good. I try to think of good things as much as I can…
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:45 pm to Festus
quote:
I’ve always thrived knowing someone else gave a shite about me in that way
I definitely relate to OP in that way. I grew up in a household with very critical parents, so I internalized a very negative voice inside. As a result, I had very low self-esteem. In school, I tried to use trophies, grades, approval from my parents, and accomplishments to fill that void. When I was in college, I tried to use attention from my peers and my gf to fill that void. I figured that as long as she loved me, that I must be worthy of love or worthwhile in some way. So, predictably, when she stopped loving me, I was cut off from that source of esteem and fell apart.
As long as you are reliant on other people or things beyond your control to provide you with the self-esteem you require to function, you will never be happy long term, and you will never feel in control of your life. You have to learn to love yourself, and that can be really really really hard, but necessary.
This post was edited on 2/25/25 at 3:46 pm
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:46 pm to TexasTiger08
Get a dog and an occasional hooker. You’ll be much happier in the long run.
As a divorced guy myself, I’d also add to throw in a yearly vacation to Costa Rica or Thailand.
I go with a single buddy every year for like 4 days of getting shite faced drunk and banging multiple big booty latinas a day. Then I go back and tell stories and show videos of said trip and the debauchery that takes place to all my married buddies. It gives them the sads living out their boring married life.
As a divorced guy myself, I’d also add to throw in a yearly vacation to Costa Rica or Thailand.
I go with a single buddy every year for like 4 days of getting shite faced drunk and banging multiple big booty latinas a day. Then I go back and tell stories and show videos of said trip and the debauchery that takes place to all my married buddies. It gives them the sads living out their boring married life.
This post was edited on 2/25/25 at 3:52 pm
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:48 pm to TexasTiger08
I've always been an introvert
appreciated time alone
but since the stroke I am absolutely isolated and it can frick with the way you think and feel I haven't left the house since before Thanksgiving
The cold weather just affects my ability to drive that much I see other living human beings maybe twice a month
It's like being in a Swedish prison
chips
appreciated time alone
but since the stroke I am absolutely isolated and it can frick with the way you think and feel I haven't left the house since before Thanksgiving
The cold weather just affects my ability to drive that much I see other living human beings maybe twice a month
It's like being in a Swedish prison
chips
This post was edited on 2/25/25 at 3:53 pm
Posted on 2/25/25 at 3:49 pm to kingbob
quote:
You have to learn to love yourself, and that can be really really really hard, but necessary.
Five years out from divorce, and the idea of doing that seems nearly impossible.
The positive for me is that I’m quite content being alone. I wouldn’t say happy, but content.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:00 pm to TexasTiger08
Sorry man. That really sucks.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:01 pm to TexasTiger08
Eh don’t be so hard on yourself. Your ex is the POS not you. Even if you are clingy, fricking other people isn’t the answer. Women will use any excuse to somehow shift the blame, friend’s ex wife said he played too much golf and didn’t keep the windows clean so she had an affair.
Hit the gym very very hard for a year and be the best father you can be and then report back. You’ll be a different man this time next year and ready for a relationship. Good luck baw.
Hit the gym very very hard for a year and be the best father you can be and then report back. You’ll be a different man this time next year and ready for a relationship. Good luck baw.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:04 pm to Townedrunkard
How does one acquire a stripper? Asking for a friend
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:05 pm to TexasTiger08
quote:
I’m forced to live in solitude and misery, barring some tragic accident that I would almost welcome at this point.
There are married people living your same kind of life. Being miserable with someone else won’t solve it.
Start doing whatever the hell you want to do, whenever. Drive somewhere on weekends. Build something.
You have absolute freedom. Live it.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:08 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
quote:
Dude, you’ve got to stop being whiny. That is the single most unattractive thing you can do.
Damn, I agree with Mingo! Would say the same about women. An average looking woman with confidence is way better than a hot one who isn’t.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:13 pm to HogPharmer
quote:
This. Especially the bold part. I guarantee you have an anxious attachment style. So when you don't get responses immediately or in a timely manner, you start creating these imaginary situations in your head. They'll be silly and crazy, but to you in the moment, you have convinced yourself that your thoughts are reality.
This x1000. This is exactly how I am.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:17 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
quote:
Dude, you’ve got to stop being whiny. That is the single most unattractive thing you can do.
Unless you have a vagina. Than it works
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:19 pm to kingbob
quote:
As long as you are reliant on other people or things beyond your control to provide you with the self-esteem you require to function, you will never be happy long term, and you will never feel in control of your life. You have to learn to love yourself, and that can be really really really hard, but necessary.
Yes, and I will my favorite advice I have ever been taught on my healing journey. You cannot expect yourself out of others.
So people who didnt love you or treat you right in your eyes maybe did nothing wrong at all, they just didn't do what you would do. Goes for dating too.
This post was edited on 2/25/25 at 4:21 pm
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:22 pm to TexasTiger08
That one person depending on you is pretty dang important and worth dealing with a lot of crap to see grow up and is not trapping you into anything. In a bad situation with your ex you got out of it with a gift.
Not sure if you ever sought counseling with some depression meds (maybe not SSRIs but maybe Wellbutrin) at some time or got blood work to check for thyroid issues, low-T, vitamin D deficiency, and so on, but if not I would get started on that first. If you have I would look into a change in meds and maybe counseling, and if blood work was 6 months or more in the past I would go get them done again. Exercise including cardio 3 or 4 times a week can help as well, so increase that if doing some already or start exercising if not.
You need to force yourself to set up multiple dates with different girls before asking out that girl showing interest in you that you are also interested in, and/or have multiple events or trips coming up after the date that are going to force you to focus on other things and not jump into feeling or pushing something with dates that really needs more time to develop than you are allowing to happen right now.
Also, winter is close to ending with spring, summer, sunshine, and longer days coming soon.
Not sure if you ever sought counseling with some depression meds (maybe not SSRIs but maybe Wellbutrin) at some time or got blood work to check for thyroid issues, low-T, vitamin D deficiency, and so on, but if not I would get started on that first. If you have I would look into a change in meds and maybe counseling, and if blood work was 6 months or more in the past I would go get them done again. Exercise including cardio 3 or 4 times a week can help as well, so increase that if doing some already or start exercising if not.
You need to force yourself to set up multiple dates with different girls before asking out that girl showing interest in you that you are also interested in, and/or have multiple events or trips coming up after the date that are going to force you to focus on other things and not jump into feeling or pushing something with dates that really needs more time to develop than you are allowing to happen right now.
Also, winter is close to ending with spring, summer, sunshine, and longer days coming soon.
This post was edited on 2/25/25 at 4:28 pm
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:23 pm to Mingo Was His NameO
quote:
Mingo Was His NameO
I’m not gonna disagree with you. You are correct. I guess internally, I feel like I’ve tried for a year and a half. I take steps forward, then take steps back. I take a leap forward, then I fall back. I’ve worn out my welcome so many places, probably even here. I’ve gone to church, I’m trying therapy. I just loathe being alone, and I’m not able to fix that. I’m not able to make myself into the person that attracts positive attention. It’s attitude, confidence, looks, all of it. Nobody is gonna give me a second look. I’m not even aiming for 10’s. I’ve talked to thicc girls with a kid, doesn’t bother me as long as we vibe well.
I just feel like I’m throwing up the white flag now.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:26 pm to kingbob
quote:
I definitely relate to OP in that way. I grew up in a household with very critical parents, so I internalized a very negative voice inside. As a result, I had very low self-esteem. In school, I tried to use trophies, grades, approval from my parents, and accomplishments to fill that void. When I was in college, I tried to use attention from my peers and my gf to fill that void. I figured that as long as she loved me, that I must be worthy of love or worthwhile in some way. So, predictably, when she stopped loving me, I was cut off from that source of esteem and fell apart.
As long as you are reliant on other people or things beyond your control to provide you with the self-esteem you require to function, you will never be happy long term, and you will never feel in control of your life. You have to learn to love yourself, and that can be really really really hard, but necessary.
I can definitely relate to this - differently though
Thanks for posting this.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:26 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
ut since the stroke I am absolutely isolated and it can frick with the way you think and feel I haven't left the house since before Thanksgiving
Dang, Owlie. That's not ok, man.
Posted on 2/25/25 at 4:26 pm to dallastigers
quote:
You need to force yourself to set up multiple dates with different girls before asking out that girl showing interest
I’m not that in demand.
Page 4 of 12
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News