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re: Scenario: If you were dating a girl for <1 year, got her pregnant- Would you marry?
Posted on 7/6/21 at 11:53 am to GreenRockTiger
Posted on 7/6/21 at 11:53 am to GreenRockTiger
quote:
sn’t that the point? To love/like the person you are sleeping with in case you do create life?
was flying into SFO many years ago, was going to layover for the night, the flight attendant crew was based there and this one ginger fa kept coming up to the cockpit talking smack(way before the pc # days,) as we were getting closer(it was pretty late at night,) she says to me "we seem to have hit it off quite well, I have about a three hour drive home when we land, how about I spend the night with you and I'll take you to the airport in the morning on my way home?" have never seen or heard from that girl since
1
Posted on 7/6/21 at 11:55 am to hubertcumberdale
quote:
ETA: its the reason chemicals exist in your brain to make sex feel good, to produce more offspring.
What about the chemicals in your brain that makes you feel attached to the person you’ve fricked? Which is why monogamy became a law?
That’s biology too
Posted on 7/6/21 at 11:56 am to 777Tiger
quote:
have never seen or heard from that girl since
But at least you liked her
Posted on 7/6/21 at 11:59 am to GreenRockTiger
quote:
But at least you liked her
I really did, she was fun and funny as heck, had a great time, I was a lowly co-pilot back then, I wish I had a pic of the Captain's face when she asked if she coud spend the night with me, he just said "I can't believe what I've just seen"
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:00 pm to RebelExpress38
quote:This is too over-simplified to be true. Being married to someone you know you shouldn't be married to and miserable or constantly fighting because of it will make you a worse parent just as it will negatively affect every other area of your life. A child is far better off growing up with unmarried co-parents who can be civil and cooperative than with two married parents who resent or dislike each other.
The best single dad in the world would be better if he were married and spent more time with his kid. The worst married dad would be even worse if you made him a part time parent.
I stand by my original comment that you don't really know someone well enough to marry them if you've been dating for less than a year, and that's truer the younger you are.
Should you immediately end a relationship with someone if she gets pregnant before you're married? No.
Should you immediately decide to marry that person in that same scenario? Also no.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:01 pm to poncho villa
I wouldn’t date someone who i wouldn’t marry.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:01 pm to poncho villa
Pics? Does she swallow? Let you do nasty things to her?
DETAILS MAN DETAILS!!!
DETAILS MAN DETAILS!!!
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:02 pm to poncho villa
I assume since I banged she is hot enough for me. Therefore, I would marry assuming she wasn't batshit or something.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:03 pm to GreenRockTiger
quote:
What about the chemicals in your brain that makes you feel attached to the person you’ve fricked? Which is why monogamy became a law?
Monogamy has more to do with maintaining a functioning society than anything else, which didnt start until around 1,000 years ago. It is also good for public health that people are generally monogamous. Humans are the only monogamous species outside of some bird species.
This post was edited on 7/6/21 at 12:08 pm
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:06 pm to GreenRockTiger
quote:
What about the chemicals in your brain that makes you feel attached to the person you’ve fricked?
Those feelings have term limits. For guys anyway...
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:09 pm to Chuck Barris
quote:
This is too over-simplified to be true. Being married to someone you know you shouldn't be married to and miserable or constantly fighting because of it will make you a worse parent just as it will negatively affect every other area of your life. A child is far better off growing up with unmarried co-parents who can be civil and cooperative than with two married parents who resent or dislike each other.
I could have married everyone I dated. My life would be radically different in some cases, but none would have been disastrous. None were bad people. I'm glad I didn't, but in some alternate universe where I got one of them pregnant, I suspect I could have had a meaningful, productive, etc. life with any of them.
I think there are a lot of people like me. IMO, some of the issue here is the concept of "he/she's not right for me." Nothing wrong with that in theory, but when you've brought a kid into the mix, the ideal may need to go out the window.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:10 pm to Lima Whiskey
quote:How are you supposed to know whether or not you'd marry someone you've never dated?
I wouldn’t date someone who i wouldn’t marry.
Couples who are looking to get engaged really need to have some conversations (How many kids do you want? Where do you want to live? How do you like to divide up household responsibilities? Single income or double income home?, etc.) that you probably wouldn't have with someone who's just your friend or acquaintance.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:14 pm to Chuck Barris
quote:
Couples who are looking to get engaged really need to have some conversations (How many kids do you want? Where do you want to live? How do you like to divide up household responsibilities? Single income or double income home?, etc.) that you probably wouldn't have with someone who's just your friend or acquaintance.
And I'm amazed how often on this board we hear about folks being 1, 2, 3 years into a a relationship and not having those conversations.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:16 pm to theunknownknight
quote:
Here’s even more old school advice: if you are going to fornicate, don’t bone a woman you don’t plan on marrying
I’m not willing to give up sex forever
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:19 pm to Chuck Barris
quote:
How are you supposed to know whether or not you'd marry someone you've never dated?
Some people have the class, education, and looks. And some people don’t. You know immediately
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:24 pm to RebelExpress38
quote:
People who say no in this situation are the reason the US is crippled by baby mamas on welfare and kids growing up without dads. Actions have consequences.
Then all those people that divorce before all of their kids are out of the house are in the same boat.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:27 pm to DiamondDog
quote:
My father told me growing up you never marry a woman just because you knock her up.
I agree with dad.
The most ideal scenario (under the circumstances) is that the guy and the chick are on a marriage trajectory and she just happened to get pregnant before the proposal, wedding, and all that jazz.
But if a guy does get a woman pregnant and he isn't interested in the long term, then hell no, don't get married. Man up and handle your responsibilities as a dad but don't marry some woman you don't want to marry just because you accidentally knocked her up.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:36 pm to Pettifogger
quote:Obviously, I'm not trying to dispute any of your personal experiences.
I could have married everyone I dated. My life would be radically different in some cases, but none would have been disastrous. None were bad people. I'm glad I didn't, but in some alternate universe where I got one of them pregnant, I suspect I could have had a meaningful, productive, etc. life with any of them.
I wouldn't classify anyone I've dated as a bad person either, but I'm also very glad that I didn't marry any of them. Over the course of those relationships, one (or both of us) came to the conclusion of "You're a nice person, but I really don't need to be married to you."
I like to think my marriage is happy and strong, but we've gone through some tough times and I really doubt I could have pulled through them to keep the marriage alive with anyone other than my wife. I suppose I'm trying to make the point that in my experience, being married to exactly the right person has probably made an enormous positive difference in my life.
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:37 pm to poncho villa
Is she hot and does she have huge boobs?
Posted on 7/6/21 at 12:40 pm to Lima Whiskey
quote:I don't know about you, but I've met some classy, well-educated, good looking women who I wouldn't marry for any amount of money.
Some people have the class, education, and looks. And some people don’t. You know immediately
This post was edited on 7/6/21 at 12:42 pm
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