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re: Regretting motherhood: What have I done to my life?

Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:44 am to
Posted by LSU fan 246
Member since Oct 2005
90567 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:44 am to
quote:


She sounds like a selfish bitch


She sounds very honest to me

She is basically the person that asks the question in class that everyone is too afraid to ask but are secretly thanking them for speaking up
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
33051 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:45 am to
quote:

Sure having awesome trips and shite are fun but it fades.

It doesn't have to stop just because you have kids.

We are heading to Iceland in November to see the northern lights and Ireland in April. We are taking our son on both trips.

He will be 1 in August. He has already been on 4 trips with us and will be making his 5th next week. (First 8+ hour road trip, fingers crossed)

Like i said. Yparents make sacrifices, but you don't have to stop enjoying your own life just because you have children. Kids enhance your life, not burden it... Unless you're poor.
Posted by MightyYat
StB Garden District
Member since Jan 2009
25029 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:45 am to
I hate people like this bitch. You had not one, not two but THREE kids! Are you kidding me? Cry me a fricking river. People that lack the insight to say "hey, maybe that 3rd kid is going to be a bit tough" don't deserve a second thought. Those same friends she's jealous of will be jealous of her when she has an actual family that gives a shite about her and they're sitting around in their 60s and 70s surrounded by people that don't give a frick about them. Life is meant to be spent around family. It's what makes the world go around.
Posted by LSUvegasbombed
Red Stick
Member since Sep 2013
15464 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:46 am to
is that your way of telling your LL you dont want kids?
Posted by KG6
Member since Aug 2009
10920 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:46 am to
quote:

everyone has these types of thoughts whether it be about children, career, partner, etc


Every single time I see a boob I think "If I lived my life a little differently, maybe I could have touched that boob". Doesn't mean I'm going to change every decision I ever made.
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
111522 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:46 am to
quote:

This is something a lot of older people like to parrot, and it’s ridiculous.

Envy isn’t a new phenomenon. Social media is simply another facilitator of envy. Along with...you know, going out in public and seeing other people.


Social media has enhanced envy tenfold because people are able to "fake it" more now than ever


A single picture here and there can give the appearance of a charmed life like no other time in history could before social media existed
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
84435 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:46 am to
quote:

everyone has these types of thoughts

whether it be about children, career, partner, etc


Yeah it's called being human
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
33051 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:47 am to
It is well documented that she feels the same way.
Posted by HoustonChick86
Catalina Wine Mixer
Member since Dec 2009
59239 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:47 am to
quote:

you don't have to stop enjoying your own life just because you have children

I agree with this statement.

I refuse to be a parent who just sits home with their kids all the time. I try to take mine as many places as possible, but I'm also not afraid to have his grandma watch him so we can get out alone every now and then.
Posted by LSUvegasbombed
Red Stick
Member since Sep 2013
15464 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:47 am to
life aint all about hitting up breweries and eating food

i think they will come around
Posted by shel311
McKinney, Texas
Member since Aug 2004
112910 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:48 am to
quote:

I have a childless friend who writes bestselling chick-lit novels and runs a media empire. I follow her compulsively on Instagram; while my jealousy grows with every unfiltered photo, I can’t stop scrolling. She’s still as skinny as she was when we were at university, and hot damn she looks good in leather pants. I’m just happy if the sweats I bought at the grocery store are clean enough to get me through another day. While she’s sipping sparkling wine as she jets from London to New York, I’m downing tepid coffee as I drive my kids to ballet and swimming lessons.
It's pretty naive that she just magically thinks if she didn't have kids she'd have an empire and be jet setting around the world. That's not how any of this works. Also, her friend writes novels, this Mom could do that from home if she really wanted to or thought it was as easy as she insinuates.

I have 7 year old twin boys. It's normal as shite to daydream about things I'd be doing if I were single with no kids. It is kind of shitty though for this Mom to actually "regret" having kids at times, not good.

My boys go away for a couple of months across the US with their grandparents every summer, just left last week. Each of the last 3 years they've gone, the weeks/days leading up to them leaving I'm usually excited about all the free time I'm going to have. The moment they leave, I wish they weren't gone. Somehow all the free time in the world just isn't as cool as lugging them around town, making them dinner, making sure they're bathed and just hanging out with them.

I'll take hanging with my boys over anything else any day, all day.






ETA: There's also something to be said about how this works later in life, when you get to your 40s and on. I'd guess a great many who never wanted kids either end up having kids pretty late or at some point regret or imagine life if they had kids, just like the Moms/Dads may wonder what it's like without kids. Same shite on both sides, I'm sure.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 9:51 am
Posted by facher08
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2011
6096 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:48 am to
quote:

I follow her compulsively on Instagram; while my jealousy grows with every unfiltered photo, I can’t stop scrolling. She’s still as skinny as she was when we were at university, and hot damn she looks good in leather pants.


Closet lesbo.
Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11622 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to
Most women without kids are not jet-setting bestselling authors with charmed lives. We can all find someone whose life looks happier than ours. Especially on social media.

The whole “nothing worth doing is easy” adage applies to being a parent. There is in the moment happiness, and there’s reflective happiness. The day to day might be hard, but most parents are able to look back and feel a lot of pride and happiness. In the moment happiness doesn’t really have the same effect in the long run. Effort has to be made to find other ways to add meaning to life.
Posted by Harry Caray
Denial
Member since Aug 2009
21045 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to
quote:

but sacrifice and selflessness are better qualities to have than the "it's all about me" single people. When those people age and find out that they are bored with the shallow life they are living, they will regret their choices at some point.
Man you really took this shite personally huh.

What path would you prefer I take? Having kids because of societal pressure and hating my life, or realizing I'm selfish, not having kids, and slightly hating my life less?
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
98955 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to
quote:


A single picture here and there can give the appearance of a charmed life like no other time in history could before social media existed


That’s mostly why I quit posting on Facebook. I got tired of running into people and hearing “wish I had your life” or “do you ever work?”
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108046 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to
quote:

Envy isn’t a new phenomenon. Social media is simply another facilitator of envy. Along with...you know, going out in public and seeing other people.


IMO it’s intensified by social media though. You’re likely going to come across far more people on something like Facebook or Instagram on a daily basis then if you ran into some friends while out to eat or at the bar.

It’s also much easier for people to hide their deficiencies in either relationships or life in general on social media because they’re choosing what they allow you to see.

It’s like that couple that constantly posts pictures of each other “happy” together when they’re definitely not. Chances are in person you’re eventually going to see the chinks in the armor.
Posted by lsupride87
Member since Dec 2007
111522 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to
quote:

Also, her friend writes novels, this Mom could do that from home if she really wanted to or thought it was as easy as she insinuates.

Yeh she sounds like an excuse making loser


I know of a single mother who wrote a damn novel while scratching to get by

she is now worth 650 million

This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 9:50 am
Posted by LSUvegasbombed
Red Stick
Member since Sep 2013
15464 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:50 am to
I have the means for trips with or without kids. Its been 3 years since my SO and I have gone on a trip without a kid or she being pregnant.

We have a 21 month & 4 month old...

I think next march or april I can make a solo trip happen to some islands.

I dont mind taking the kids but I am dying for just a trip alone with her.
Posted by GetCocky11
Calgary, AB
Member since Oct 2012
53509 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:50 am to
quote:

Closet lesbo.


Posted by mikelbr
Baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2008
49072 posts
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:51 am to
quote:

She sounds very honest to me

She is basically the person that asks the question in class that everyone is too afraid to ask but are secretly thanking them for speaking up



Nah that's not honesty, that's self-centeredness bullshite. I see that in parents of kids over 10 yrs old at their kids extracurriculars. You see three kinds of parents at these events.
My example is little league:

1. WOE IS ME being put out to bring my kid to this shite.
I hope he doesn't expect to sign up next year.

2. My kid wants to play baseball so I'm going to make the most of it and enjoy watching him play games. It's not a vacation but not some huge life compromise. And every now and then the little fricker makes a great play and I feel proud.

3. MY KID IS THE GOLDEN GOD OF BASEBALL(Wearing the team gear from head-to-toe). Lets sign up for EVERY frickING TOURNAMENT for 500 miles!


Most parents are #2.

OPs example is #1 and least common but easy to spot at the ballpark.

And we all know some #3s
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 9:53 am
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