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re: Regretting motherhood: What have I done to my life?
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:44 am to Landmass
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:44 am to Landmass
quote:
She sounds like a selfish bitch
She sounds very honest to me
She is basically the person that asks the question in class that everyone is too afraid to ask but are secretly thanking them for speaking up
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:45 am to thejudge
quote:
Sure having awesome trips and shite are fun but it fades.
It doesn't have to stop just because you have kids.
We are heading to Iceland in November to see the northern lights and Ireland in April. We are taking our son on both trips.
He will be 1 in August. He has already been on 4 trips with us and will be making his 5th next week. (First 8+ hour road trip, fingers crossed)
Like i said. Yparents make sacrifices, but you don't have to stop enjoying your own life just because you have children. Kids enhance your life, not burden it... Unless you're poor.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:45 am to thejudge
I hate people like this bitch. You had not one, not two but THREE kids! Are you kidding me? Cry me a fricking river. People that lack the insight to say "hey, maybe that 3rd kid is going to be a bit tough" don't deserve a second thought. Those same friends she's jealous of will be jealous of her when she has an actual family that gives a shite about her and they're sitting around in their 60s and 70s surrounded by people that don't give a frick about them. Life is meant to be spent around family. It's what makes the world go around.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:46 am to Deactived
is that your way of telling your LL you dont want kids? 
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:46 am to Salmon
quote:
everyone has these types of thoughts whether it be about children, career, partner, etc
Every single time I see a boob I think "If I lived my life a little differently, maybe I could have touched that boob". Doesn't mean I'm going to change every decision I ever made.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:46 am to Pecker
quote:
This is something a lot of older people like to parrot, and it’s ridiculous.
Envy isn’t a new phenomenon. Social media is simply another facilitator of envy. Along with...you know, going out in public and seeing other people.
Social media has enhanced envy tenfold because people are able to "fake it" more now than ever
A single picture here and there can give the appearance of a charmed life like no other time in history could before social media existed
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:46 am to Salmon
quote:
everyone has these types of thoughts
whether it be about children, career, partner, etc
Yeah it's called being human
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:47 am to LSUvegasbombed
It is well documented that she feels the same way.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:47 am to Displaced
quote:
you don't have to stop enjoying your own life just because you have children
I agree with this statement.
I refuse to be a parent who just sits home with their kids all the time. I try to take mine as many places as possible, but I'm also not afraid to have his grandma watch him so we can get out alone every now and then.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:47 am to Displaced
life aint all about hitting up breweries and eating food
i think they will come around
i think they will come around
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:48 am to Pecker
quote:It's pretty naive that she just magically thinks if she didn't have kids she'd have an empire and be jet setting around the world. That's not how any of this works. Also, her friend writes novels, this Mom could do that from home if she really wanted to or thought it was as easy as she insinuates.
I have a childless friend who writes bestselling chick-lit novels and runs a media empire. I follow her compulsively on Instagram; while my jealousy grows with every unfiltered photo, I can’t stop scrolling. She’s still as skinny as she was when we were at university, and hot damn she looks good in leather pants. I’m just happy if the sweats I bought at the grocery store are clean enough to get me through another day. While she’s sipping sparkling wine as she jets from London to New York, I’m downing tepid coffee as I drive my kids to ballet and swimming lessons.
I have 7 year old twin boys. It's normal as shite to daydream about things I'd be doing if I were single with no kids. It is kind of shitty though for this Mom to actually "regret" having kids at times, not good.
My boys go away for a couple of months across the US with their grandparents every summer, just left last week. Each of the last 3 years they've gone, the weeks/days leading up to them leaving I'm usually excited about all the free time I'm going to have. The moment they leave, I wish they weren't gone. Somehow all the free time in the world just isn't as cool as lugging them around town, making them dinner, making sure they're bathed and just hanging out with them.
I'll take hanging with my boys over anything else any day, all day.
ETA: There's also something to be said about how this works later in life, when you get to your 40s and on. I'd guess a great many who never wanted kids either end up having kids pretty late or at some point regret or imagine life if they had kids, just like the Moms/Dads may wonder what it's like without kids. Same shite on both sides, I'm sure.
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 9:51 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:48 am to Pecker
quote:
I follow her compulsively on Instagram; while my jealousy grows with every unfiltered photo, I can’t stop scrolling. She’s still as skinny as she was when we were at university, and hot damn she looks good in leather pants.
Closet lesbo.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to Pecker
Most women without kids are not jet-setting bestselling authors with charmed lives. We can all find someone whose life looks happier than ours. Especially on social media.
The whole “nothing worth doing is easy” adage applies to being a parent. There is in the moment happiness, and there’s reflective happiness. The day to day might be hard, but most parents are able to look back and feel a lot of pride and happiness. In the moment happiness doesn’t really have the same effect in the long run. Effort has to be made to find other ways to add meaning to life.
The whole “nothing worth doing is easy” adage applies to being a parent. There is in the moment happiness, and there’s reflective happiness. The day to day might be hard, but most parents are able to look back and feel a lot of pride and happiness. In the moment happiness doesn’t really have the same effect in the long run. Effort has to be made to find other ways to add meaning to life.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to statman34
quote:Man you really took this shite personally huh.
but sacrifice and selflessness are better qualities to have than the "it's all about me" single people. When those people age and find out that they are bored with the shallow life they are living, they will regret their choices at some point.
What path would you prefer I take? Having kids because of societal pressure and hating my life, or realizing I'm selfish, not having kids, and slightly hating my life less?
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to lsupride87
quote:
A single picture here and there can give the appearance of a charmed life like no other time in history could before social media existed
That’s mostly why I quit posting on Facebook. I got tired of running into people and hearing “wish I had your life” or “do you ever work?”
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to Pecker
quote:
Envy isn’t a new phenomenon. Social media is simply another facilitator of envy. Along with...you know, going out in public and seeing other people.
IMO it’s intensified by social media though. You’re likely going to come across far more people on something like Facebook or Instagram on a daily basis then if you ran into some friends while out to eat or at the bar.
It’s also much easier for people to hide their deficiencies in either relationships or life in general on social media because they’re choosing what they allow you to see.
It’s like that couple that constantly posts pictures of each other “happy” together when they’re definitely not. Chances are in person you’re eventually going to see the chinks in the armor.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:49 am to shel311
quote:Yeh she sounds like an excuse making loser
Also, her friend writes novels, this Mom could do that from home if she really wanted to or thought it was as easy as she insinuates.
I know of a single mother who wrote a damn novel while scratching to get by
she is now worth 650 million

This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 9:50 am
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:50 am to HoustonChick86
I have the means for trips with or without kids. Its been 3 years since my SO and I have gone on a trip without a kid or she being pregnant.
We have a 21 month & 4 month old...
I think next march or april I can make a solo trip happen to some islands.
I dont mind taking the kids but I am dying for just a trip alone with her.
We have a 21 month & 4 month old...
I think next march or april I can make a solo trip happen to some islands.
I dont mind taking the kids but I am dying for just a trip alone with her.
Posted on 6/27/18 at 9:51 am to Deactived
quote:
She sounds very honest to me
She is basically the person that asks the question in class that everyone is too afraid to ask but are secretly thanking them for speaking up
Nah that's not honesty, that's self-centeredness bullshite. I see that in parents of kids over 10 yrs old at their kids extracurriculars. You see three kinds of parents at these events.
My example is little league:
1. WOE IS ME being put out to bring my kid to this shite.
I hope he doesn't expect to sign up next year.
2. My kid wants to play baseball so I'm going to make the most of it and enjoy watching him play games. It's not a vacation but not some huge life compromise. And every now and then the little fricker makes a great play and I feel proud.
3. MY KID IS THE GOLDEN GOD OF BASEBALL(Wearing the team gear from head-to-toe). Lets sign up for EVERY frickING TOURNAMENT for 500 miles!
Most parents are #2.
OPs example is #1 and least common but easy to spot at the ballpark.
And we all know some #3s
This post was edited on 6/27/18 at 9:53 am
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