re: Reaction to cancer news

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It seems like we have been treating cancer in the same way for decades. Where are the advancements?

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There are some amazing advancements in certain types. It's no longer a certain death sentence.

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Kate bowler wrote a book and does a pod cast about being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in her 30s and this is one of her bigger topics.... she frequently jokes about the number of conversations about “my uncles prostate” and how little she wants to spend her time thinking about that instead of new and exciting experiences

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A person who wrote a book and publicly speaks about her cancer is bored when people talk about theirs or their loved one's cancer? Kind of an odd way of thinking.

People are just trying to relate.

There is a great book for cancer patients and their loved ones called "I want to Live". It explains why people say and do things you just explained to either cancer patients or their loved ones, and how to react. Hopefully, you and your wife have not yet encountered the people who give you their reasons as to why your wife has/had cancer, or how your wife's cancer isn't as bad as the "type of cancer" someone else they know has.

People are trying to relate.

Unless someone has had an immediate family member go through cancer they are usually pretty clueless on the matter.

The first thing that pops in their head is the people who died, because the fact that they died made it stick in their brain.

They completely forget about the dozens of other people they may casually know who had and beat cancer.

Don't take it personally, they are just in their own little bubble, but trying to be nice and don't really know what else to say.

I had cancer almost 20 years ago. Caught it early and I been good ever since. I went to school with a girl that had a very bad case of leukemia about 25 years ago and she over came it and is still healthy today. For every bad story there are at least 1 good one.

I bet if you walk up to ten people and told them you found a hundred dollar bill, eight or nine of them would tell you their story about them finding money at one time or the other. People just like to relate.

We all have our cancer "stories". I could tell you that I lost my dad, my mother, and my first step-mother to cancer and my second stepmother had to have both breasts removed - all of this by the time I was 41. I would not be looking for sympathy however. Sympathy won't reverse what has taken place but I do want you to know that I do appreciate what you might be going through.

More times than not though, I keep that story to myself when having one-on-one conversations with someone about cancer. None of my stories ended well and I try my best to put a positive spin on the situation you might be in. Sometimes certain words of encouragement might be what you need to hear at the time.

Here's hoping you and your family stay strong for each other.

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they inevitably come right back with their own cancer story

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Take out cancer, and that's every conversation I have with anyone.

Cancer sucks, my dad was working and had a back ache. Once they figured out what it was he was gone in 28 days.

He had it all over including his bones, ie the back ache.

My dad died from cancer.