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re: Question about youth sports
Posted on 3/20/23 at 1:46 pm to burger bearcat
Posted on 3/20/23 at 1:46 pm to burger bearcat
quote:Volunteer your time to help 10 other kids get better at the sacrifice of time helping your own kid or shut the f up. That’s my initial thought when parents complain about rec league coaches.
So my issue isn't some self esteem, participation trophy, feel good shite, but my issue is we paid money and are wasting our time in a league that was advertised as "instructional", which I thought would've focused on developing skills.
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Posted on 3/20/23 at 1:56 pm to burger bearcat
Find the league rule book. Most of them will have playing time restrictions/minimum playing times for each kid if they are instructional leagues. Our instructional league for that age only allows kids to play 3 quarters.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 2:11 pm to burger bearcat
The league shouldn’t allow that fella to coach, but my son’s had men who just clearly didn’t GAF and their son was the worst kid on the team. I think I’d prefer your experience.
Son still made Allstars that year.
Son still made Allstars that year.
This post was edited on 3/20/23 at 2:14 pm
Posted on 3/20/23 at 2:15 pm to burger bearcat
quote:sounds like youth basketball to me
The best player is the coach's son. Mquote:
he runs every play exclusively through his son, all the other players are instructed to just set screens for him and pass him the ball, the only time they are given the green light to shoot is maybe after an offensive rebound or a loose ball comes there way and they are wide open. In practices, they hardly work on skill development, and mostly just go over the same sets and plays that involve his son being the only primary ball handler and setting screens and/or passing him the ball to score.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 2:29 pm to burger bearcat
Pull your kid asap and get him in football. They only play a few months out of the year and daddy ball gets out of the picture pretty quickly.
Plus there'll be a lot more people at the games when Jr. gets to HS.
Plus there'll be a lot more people at the games when Jr. gets to HS.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 3:14 pm to burger bearcat
These so called coaches are so damn selfish. They are only interested in their own child. They are also egomaniac. Find a team with a coach that doesn't have children on the team. That person will coach for the love of children and the game
.
.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 3:17 pm to H newman
quote:
Find a team with a coach that doesn't have children on the team
quote:you got that right
That person will coach for the love of children
Posted on 3/20/23 at 3:49 pm to burger bearcat
I coach Little League baseball. The fair play rules vary by age. If you are 10u or 9u, every kid has to get at least one inning of IF. I personally hate that rule because it means that you always have one kid in the infield, who is a weak player. By default, that pulls down your strong players, who are capable of turning double plays. This mentality of catering to the weak at the expense of the strong is part of the reason that we start losing so many kids to select at around that age.
I love 11u and above because I’m not forced to play anyone anywhere. The new kids who have never played pretty much play outfield the entire year unless the are natural athletes. It’s easier to learn a position when you aren’t constantly changing.
When it comes to my own kids, they know that they can’t be tied for a position. If I have to choose between them and another kid, all things being equal, I will take the other kid. I don’t want people thinking I’m playing favorites, and my kids know that.
I’ve never had a complaint from any parent, I think in part because I’m as hard or harder on my own kids as I am on theirs. I also hold a lot of mid-season practices where I try to develop the newer players. I even pay for hitting coaches to come out and work with my players.
It’s hard to say in this particular situation if the coach is being an arse or not. If his kid really is the best, then he could be effectively developing your child if he’s teaching your kid how to set good picks and how to run a functioning offense. He should be offering additional opportunities for your kid to develop in practice, though.
The truth is that unless your child is just naturally athletic, he’s not going to catch up unless you are working with him at home. No coach is going to care as much about your child as he does his own, and I say that as a coach who has put countless hours and thousands of dollars into other people’s children.
Edited to move the ages up 1 year. 11u is when we get rid of fair play. I wish we had no fair play at 10u and 9u as well.
I love 11u and above because I’m not forced to play anyone anywhere. The new kids who have never played pretty much play outfield the entire year unless the are natural athletes. It’s easier to learn a position when you aren’t constantly changing.
When it comes to my own kids, they know that they can’t be tied for a position. If I have to choose between them and another kid, all things being equal, I will take the other kid. I don’t want people thinking I’m playing favorites, and my kids know that.
I’ve never had a complaint from any parent, I think in part because I’m as hard or harder on my own kids as I am on theirs. I also hold a lot of mid-season practices where I try to develop the newer players. I even pay for hitting coaches to come out and work with my players.
It’s hard to say in this particular situation if the coach is being an arse or not. If his kid really is the best, then he could be effectively developing your child if he’s teaching your kid how to set good picks and how to run a functioning offense. He should be offering additional opportunities for your kid to develop in practice, though.
The truth is that unless your child is just naturally athletic, he’s not going to catch up unless you are working with him at home. No coach is going to care as much about your child as he does his own, and I say that as a coach who has put countless hours and thousands of dollars into other people’s children.
Edited to move the ages up 1 year. 11u is when we get rid of fair play. I wish we had no fair play at 10u and 9u as well.
This post was edited on 3/21/23 at 11:26 am
Posted on 3/20/23 at 3:57 pm to burger bearcat
I coach this age group in soccer.
My kid is on the team. They are a bottom half player, and their playing time represents that.
We also have a kid that is an absolute beast - and they'll play every game until they get tired because, it's the closest thing the team gets to playing real soccer that they'll get exposure to.
I do a bunch of other stuff that's not recommended for kids sports. I'm hard on them - and I push them to develop (and expose them to the skills they need to improve.)
I don't let them play everywhere and do everything. I see what your skills enable - get good at that, and I'll give you something different to do.
I'll call them out when they're half-assing it, too.
I won't unnecessarily promote the undertalented/underefforted (see: my own child), but I'm also not going to hold back the beast's development so everyone can play exactly 50% of the minutes. Everybody will play a good bit, the better players (and the ones who pay attention and try in practice) will play more.
And I'm not doing that to focus on winning - I'm trying to play something like real soccer. If the kids are just out there fricking around (or worse, getting drummed because they are in over their head) they'll get disinterested or discouraged. We'll win, and we'll win because we try to play well, and we practice with that intention.
My kid is on the team. They are a bottom half player, and their playing time represents that.
We also have a kid that is an absolute beast - and they'll play every game until they get tired because, it's the closest thing the team gets to playing real soccer that they'll get exposure to.
I do a bunch of other stuff that's not recommended for kids sports. I'm hard on them - and I push them to develop (and expose them to the skills they need to improve.)
I don't let them play everywhere and do everything. I see what your skills enable - get good at that, and I'll give you something different to do.
I'll call them out when they're half-assing it, too.
I won't unnecessarily promote the undertalented/underefforted (see: my own child), but I'm also not going to hold back the beast's development so everyone can play exactly 50% of the minutes. Everybody will play a good bit, the better players (and the ones who pay attention and try in practice) will play more.
And I'm not doing that to focus on winning - I'm trying to play something like real soccer. If the kids are just out there fricking around (or worse, getting drummed because they are in over their head) they'll get disinterested or discouraged. We'll win, and we'll win because we try to play well, and we practice with that intention.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 3:59 pm to Sheep
Always check the coach's knuckles first before engaging. If they are full of championship rings, then stfu and sit down and let him cook.
If no rings, change teams.
If no rings, change teams.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 4:00 pm to burger bearcat
If it was advertised as equal playing time for kids, he should be following the rules. I don’t like the Little League fair play rules, but I follow them. Have you looked on the website to see if there is a rule book and if he is in violation of those rules? My guess is that he is not if the other coaches aren’t complaining.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 4:08 pm to pelicanpride
I have coached 12-year-olds the last 2 years in this type of league. I would give the kids the same playing time but I only had 2-3 kids that could dribble.
You don't have time during once a week practice to work on fundamentals with 10-11 kids. That should be done on their own.
The ones that could dribble were the ones that played point.
You don't have time during once a week practice to work on fundamentals with 10-11 kids. That should be done on their own.
The ones that could dribble were the ones that played point.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 4:14 pm to Sheep
quote:
I don't let them play everywhere and do everything. I see what your skills enable - get good at that, and I'll give you something different to do.
That’s exactly what I tell my players who don’t like being in OF. The quickest way to get out of a position you don’t like is to show me that you know how to play it. Don’t ask to come play IF when you aren’t backing up correctly in OF despite having been taught what to do. That’s a great life lesson for the kids. Some rise to the occasion and others sulk the entire season. Guess which ones will be good employees one day.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 4:41 pm to burger bearcat
quote:
In practices, they hardly work on skill development, and mostly just go over the same sets and plays that involve his son being the only primary ball handler and setting screens and/or passing him the ball to score. There are a few players that suck and he hardly even plays them or works with them. My son's main job is to set picks, get rebounds, and pass back to the coach's son.
Let me ask you this: is this what you perceive your kid’s job is or is that what the coach tells him?
I coach everything because I can’t stand sitting on the sidelines watching other coaches struggle with controlling kids. Basketball in particular I can say that I’m not a strong coach in strategy. BUT, basketball isn’t like baseball or soccer where you can let weaker kids handle the ball just because. Does your kid know how to dribble well with their head up?
My kid can’t dribble with his head up and he lacks confidence in that aspect. But he can set picks, run plays, and play out of his mind on defense. Some kids can’t dribble but can pass.
As far as league play and practice, we only had a very limited time to practice then it was all games. What if the coach didn’t have time to work on dribbling or bounce passes or whatever fundamentals all the kids need because he was focused on putting a game plan together to maybe be competitive and not be embarrassed out there.
My question is: Are you projecting a perceived problem or is the coach doing the best he can with what he has?
All that to say: if you’re not signing up to be a coach, shut your mouth and get your arse on the sideline next season and make it better. Until then, thank your coach for volunteering their time to work with your kid while you sip mixed drinks out of your yeti cup.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 5:16 pm to poochie
quote:
Does your kid know how to dribble well with their head up?
To answer bluntly. He's not great at dribbling. But for his age and division, he's still about average. Alot of the kids can't dribble at all.
I wouldn't expect him to take the ball up all the time. But my expectation would be every kid would get to try that out at least a few times throughout the season in an "instructional" league. My goal isn't some self esteem, kumbayah reason. I just simply think it would help the other players (not just my son) out to be put in those situations.
quote:
My question is: Are you projecting a perceived problem or is the coach doing the best he can with what he has?
I would see it as a problem as I hear other parents been making similar comments under their breaths during games lately. I would say this particular situation is a little over and beyond your typical "daddy ball" situation, to the point of absurdity, especially for a so called "instructional" league that is supposed to be focused on skill development.
It can also be true, that by him running g every play through his son may actually give the team the best chance to win and could be the best "strategy". I don't necessarily discount that. Especially in a league that doesn't allow double teaming, zones, or stealing the ball directly from the dribbler.dribbler.
Those rules are there because it is an "instructional" league. Yet coaches in the league will do things like hold the ball the last minute when there team is up, despite the fact that you can't steal the ball and there is no bonus.
quote:
My question is: Are you projecting a perceived problem or is the coach doing the best he can with what he has?
Doing the best I can. Already coaching one of my sons baseball teams, helping on another's tea. and help out on one of their basketball teams. I know coaching is a pain in the arse and a thankless job. I get it, just think it's lame when guys get into to it simply to prop up and showcase their kids at the expense of other kids.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 5:20 pm to burger bearcat
I too coach and have for years. I am hypersensitive to showing favoritism so I go the other way. I’ll sit my kid so another can play. By no means am I some all star coach, but my rational is, my kids have the benefit of having me at home where as some kids don’t have a father figure at home. I’ll gravitate towards the weakest link and build them up and as, a byproduct, the other kids practice more fundamentals.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 5:21 pm to TomJoadGhost
quote:
Sounds like he’s developing your son’s skills in setting picks, rebounding, and passing.
Skills which he doesn't consider important enough to teach his son?
Posted on 3/20/23 at 5:52 pm to burger bearcat
quote:
The coach plays his son the entire game,
A tale as old as time.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 6:05 pm to burger bearcat
quote:
Is this a pretty normal experience with youth sports?
Daddy Ball is one of the biggest issues of youth sports.
I'll say this. I pay an obscene, stupid, crazy, mind boggliing amount of money for one of my kids to do competative cheer. But the coach doesn't have anyone on the team (hell, the coach doesn't have any kids) and all kids on the team are pushed really, really hard to suceed.
Posted on 3/20/23 at 6:13 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
Daddy Ball
Except this isn’t daddy ball…the OP admits that the coach gives the best player the most playing time, which happens to be the coach’s kid.
Daddy Ball is when the coach plays his own kid and leaves better players on the bench.
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