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Question about relationships, economic advantage of one party, and chores
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:08 pm
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:08 pm
OK here is the scenario. You have a couple with an even split of household chores (just a general concept, the individual chores are irrelevant but the labor split is 50/50). One party wants to engage in a second job and use the income from that job to pay the help to hire someone to do his/her chores, and the couple will still receive excess income above the cost of this help. The other member of the couple is not capable of earning this income (let's assume he/she has restrictions on their job so they can't receive 2nd income).
Is this fair?
Is this fair?
29
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:10 pm to SlowFlowPro
Relationships aren't about equity. They only thrive with a certain selflessness.
But, yes, it is fair.
But, yes, it is fair.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:12 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
Is this fair?
Are you asking is it ok to pay for someone to come in and do only their own chores while the other party still has to do theirs?
Fair isn't the issue...the upcoming celibacy is.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:13 pm to SlowFlowPro
sure its fair
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:13 pm to SlowFlowPro
Looking for a maid recommendation? My Consuela is top notch.
Might wanna check with your boyfriend first, though.
Might wanna check with your boyfriend first, though.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:13 pm to SlowFlowPro
I find anytime you focus on “fairness” in a relationship it’s already failing. Nothing will ever be “fair”, and focusing on fairness always just leads to anger/bitterness
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:13 pm to SlowFlowPro
i would think that it is more than fair. that half of the chores are still getting done, and there is additional money being brought into the household. i would think this should make both parties happy
although, if the extra cash is being spent on race cars, boats, etc. then i could see some resentment. unwarranted yes, but i could still see it
although, if the extra cash is being spent on race cars, boats, etc. then i could see some resentment. unwarranted yes, but i could still see it
This post was edited on 6/6/18 at 12:15 pm
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:14 pm to SlowFlowPro
You're asking for a friend, right?
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:18 pm to SlowFlowPro
I guess I'm confused that its a question.
The person taking the 2nd job has to work a 2nd job. So its not like they're working less, it just isn't on the chores they were doing... but the chores are being taken care of.
The person taking the 2nd job has to work a 2nd job. So its not like they're working less, it just isn't on the chores they were doing... but the chores are being taken care of.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:27 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
You have a couple with an even split of household chores (just a general concept, the individual chores are irrelevant but the labor split is 50/50).
Imo household responsibility are "split" 100/100. Both people are responsible for everything getting done. If help is hired, that means less "chores" for both people, not just the one who earned the money to hire the help.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:27 pm to Swoopin
quote:
The person taking the 2nd job has to work a 2nd job.
let's say it's something that person enjoys, like doing a podcast or radio show
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:28 pm to SlowFlowPro
Hire maid. Bang maid.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:31 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:I think that person is so focused on developing a logical position from which to approach a point of conflict, that he will be forever alone.
let's say it's something that person enjoys, like doing a podcast or radio show
This post was edited on 6/6/18 at 12:34 pm
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:31 pm to SlowFlowPro
I think this really depends on the dynamics of the relationship...but at face value...yes it's fair
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:34 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
Is this fair?
So she's going to be stripping on the side while you're doing the dishes?
Doesn't sound fair to me.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:36 pm to SlowFlowPro
If they are married, the chores offset by the extra income would be split evenly
if not...the person paying the help would reap all the benefits.
IMOFWIWGFY
if not...the person paying the help would reap all the benefits.
IMOFWIWGFY
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:36 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
let's say it's something that person enjoys, like doing a podcast or radio show
I think "that person" doesn't seem to understand that fairness is not the issue and that almost certainly the other person will be upset by what appears to be "that person's" ability to get away with no longer doing the households chores themselves.
Fair or not will play no part in this...but good luck to "that person" going forward with this plan.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:37 pm to SlowFlowPro
You just want to bang the maid.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:41 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
I think "that person" doesn't seem to understand that fairness is not the issue and that almost certainly the other person will be upset by what appears to be "that person's" ability to get away with no longer doing the households chores themselves
kind of why i made the thread
i want more female posters to respond b/c i think they won't see this as fair, or right, or....something
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:41 pm to rondo
quote:
If they are married, the chores offset by the extra income would be split evenly
if not...the person paying the help would reap all the benefits.
what if the excess income after paying the new help was split?
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