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re: Question about relationships, economic advantage of one party, and chores

Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:44 pm to
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:44 pm to
my wife pays someone to come in once a week to mop the floors, make the beds, clean the bathrooms, dust and clean countertops....just general housecleaning that she doesnt feel like doing.

My wife does the dishes, laundry, and cooks herself.

I used to pay a lawn and pool guy but I quit that and do it myself.....


So I guess you can say she pays someone to do some of her chores but we split the rest....
This post was edited on 6/6/18 at 12:45 pm
Posted by LSU Tiger Bob
South
Member since Sep 2011
3003 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:45 pm to
Dear Abby,
Posted by rondo
Worst. Poster. Evar.
Member since Jan 2004
77414 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:45 pm to
man...idk.

I do know if there are ten hours of chores a week in my house that my wife and I split evenly and I hire a maid to do 6 of them....I will be doing 4 hours of chores per week
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
134887 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:46 pm to
Depends. Who has to clean the toilets?
Posted by hawgndodge
Member since Jun 2009
4781 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:46 pm to
Relationships, and what I assume you mean to be your marriage, are never 50/50.

A marriage is 100%. You give everything you've got all the time. If you want it to last and enjoy it. If you're consistently judging the other person based on their works for you, it will fail. Guaranteed.
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:46 pm to
quote:


i want more female posters to respond b/c i think they won't see this as fair, or right, or....something


I think you know most won't...right?

I think very VERY few wives, let alone girlfriends, would sit back and think this is a good system...even if it makes perfect sense. I can picture many stewing about this while they're washing dishes or doing some chore KNOWING that their partner paid someone else to do his chores.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
423384 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:47 pm to
quote:

I do know if there are ten hours of chores a week in my house that my wife and I split evenly and I hire a maid to do 6 of them....I will be doing 4 hours of chores per week

but both of you come out ahead, the other way

a primary principle of creating a successful business is delegation. this is just applying that principle to menial tasks in a relationship that have nothing to do with the interaction between the parties
Posted by AA77
Member since Jan 2016
3797 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:48 pm to
Well said.
Posted by rondo
Worst. Poster. Evar.
Member since Jan 2004
77414 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:49 pm to
quote:

a primary principle of creating a successful business is delegation. t




that's cute. you thinking a relationship is anything like business.


tell me again...when is your anniversary?
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
423384 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:49 pm to
quote:

I think you know most won't...right?

I think very VERY few wives, let alone girlfriends, would sit back and think this is a good system...even if it makes perfect sense. I can picture many stewing about this while they're washing dishes or doing some chore KNOWING that their partner paid someone else to do his chores.

yeah no shite. i thought about this hypothetical reading books on developing your own business

i kind of took that to an extreme, b/c if i'm going to open up new businesses i need to not be tied to chores and there are ridiculously good deals on craigslist for that kind of shite
Posted by Motorboat
At the camp
Member since Oct 2007
22707 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:49 pm to
dude, you're never going to win the argument. I work my arse off all day then come home to two kids, I cook dinner and bathe the kids and put them to sleep.

My wife does not work, but does laundry, keeps the house up very well, dishes and goes to wal mart because I hate it. She also shuffles the kids around. We also spend about $500 a week in babysitters and maids.

I am the sole breadwinner. Do I want to come home and cook and mess with kids? No. but if I don't, then my wife is gonna burn out.

Is the amount of total work from each equal? Hell naw. I do the majority of work if I had to guess. But then I go fishing when I want, to concerts when I want, duck hunt when I want, buy boats when I want, etc.

Bottom line, don't get into that argument--you will never win it, no matter how smart you think you are.
Posted by Slagathor
Makin' jokes about your teeny tiny
Member since Jul 2007
37889 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:50 pm to
quote:

let's say it's something that person enjoys, like doing a podcast or radio show



So basically a hobby that makes money? It sounds like a good idea at face value (assuming it doesn't take up more time than the chores did). You're happier, chores still get done (maybe a professional service even does a better job?), and overall the couple has more money.

ETA: If the word "fairness" is being thrown around, it could be a sign of a deeper issue IMO.
This post was edited on 6/6/18 at 12:51 pm
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97718 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:50 pm to
Mrs fin can sign in and tell you I do 0% of the household chores, she can do them herself or pay someone to do them with my money.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
423384 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:50 pm to
quote:

that's cute. you thinking a relationship is anything like business.

that's why i made the thread

it seems that the primary arguments against this set up are inefficient and based in only emotion

that can be flipped around. why would you ever want to inhibit your spouse/significant other from their economic potential over silly chores (that aren't even ignored. they do get done. just by 3rd parties)
Posted by rondo
Worst. Poster. Evar.
Member since Jan 2004
77414 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:51 pm to
this guy.... he gets it
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:51 pm to
quote:

i kind of took that to an extreme, b/c if i'm going to open up new businesses i need to not be tied to chores and there are ridiculously good deals on craigslist for that kind of shite


Keep in mind...you're not wrong.

You're just crazy if you think being right here will matter. There are hills to die on...this would never been the one I would choose, but the mileage of others may vary.
Posted by kissedbyfire
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2017
15 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:52 pm to
“Fair” in a relationship doesn’t exist. Everyone dies what they can and when one falls short the other picks up the slack.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
423384 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:52 pm to
quote:

Keep in mind...you're not wrong.

You're just crazy if you think being right here will matter.

oh i know i'm not wrong and i know it will 100% create conflict

that's why i thought it was thread worthy
Posted by LSUBoo
Knoxville, TN
Member since Mar 2006
101930 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:53 pm to
quote:

(just a general concept, the individual chores are irrelevant but the labor split is 50/50).


I don't think that's irrelevant.

If I'm in charge of the lawn and other outside chores, and I take a second job and use some of that money to hire Owlfan to take care of that for me, that's perfectly fair.

If I take a second job and hire a maid to only clean half the house and leave the rest to my wife, that's some bullshite.
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
114040 posts
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:53 pm to
So someone wants to take on a 2nd job in order to pay someone to do a job, they could do, if they didn't have the 2nd job?
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