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re: Question about relationships, economic advantage of one party, and chores
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:44 pm to SlowFlowPro
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:44 pm to SlowFlowPro
my wife pays someone to come in once a week to mop the floors, make the beds, clean the bathrooms, dust and clean countertops....just general housecleaning that she doesnt feel like doing.
My wife does the dishes, laundry, and cooks herself.
I used to pay a lawn and pool guy but I quit that and do it myself.....
So I guess you can say she pays someone to do some of her chores but we split the rest....
My wife does the dishes, laundry, and cooks herself.
I used to pay a lawn and pool guy but I quit that and do it myself.....
So I guess you can say she pays someone to do some of her chores but we split the rest....
This post was edited on 6/6/18 at 12:45 pm
0
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:45 pm to SlowFlowPro
Dear Abby,
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:45 pm to SlowFlowPro
man...idk.
I do know if there are ten hours of chores a week in my house that my wife and I split evenly and I hire a maid to do 6 of them....I will be doing 4 hours of chores per week
I do know if there are ten hours of chores a week in my house that my wife and I split evenly and I hire a maid to do 6 of them....I will be doing 4 hours of chores per week
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:46 pm to SlowFlowPro
Depends. Who has to clean the toilets?
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:46 pm to SlowFlowPro
Relationships, and what I assume you mean to be your marriage, are never 50/50.
A marriage is 100%. You give everything you've got all the time. If you want it to last and enjoy it. If you're consistently judging the other person based on their works for you, it will fail. Guaranteed.
A marriage is 100%. You give everything you've got all the time. If you want it to last and enjoy it. If you're consistently judging the other person based on their works for you, it will fail. Guaranteed.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:46 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
i want more female posters to respond b/c i think they won't see this as fair, or right, or....something
I think you know most won't...right?
I think very VERY few wives, let alone girlfriends, would sit back and think this is a good system...even if it makes perfect sense. I can picture many stewing about this while they're washing dishes or doing some chore KNOWING that their partner paid someone else to do his chores.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:47 pm to rondo
quote:
I do know if there are ten hours of chores a week in my house that my wife and I split evenly and I hire a maid to do 6 of them....I will be doing 4 hours of chores per week
but both of you come out ahead, the other way
a primary principle of creating a successful business is delegation. this is just applying that principle to menial tasks in a relationship that have nothing to do with the interaction between the parties
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:49 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
a primary principle of creating a successful business is delegation. t
that's cute. you thinking a relationship is anything like business.
tell me again...when is your anniversary?
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:49 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
I think you know most won't...right?
I think very VERY few wives, let alone girlfriends, would sit back and think this is a good system...even if it makes perfect sense. I can picture many stewing about this while they're washing dishes or doing some chore KNOWING that their partner paid someone else to do his chores.
yeah no shite. i thought about this hypothetical reading books on developing your own business
i kind of took that to an extreme, b/c if i'm going to open up new businesses i need to not be tied to chores and there are ridiculously good deals on craigslist for that kind of shite
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:49 pm to SlowFlowPro
dude, you're never going to win the argument. I work my arse off all day then come home to two kids, I cook dinner and bathe the kids and put them to sleep.
My wife does not work, but does laundry, keeps the house up very well, dishes and goes to wal mart because I hate it. She also shuffles the kids around. We also spend about $500 a week in babysitters and maids.
I am the sole breadwinner. Do I want to come home and cook and mess with kids? No. but if I don't, then my wife is gonna burn out.
Is the amount of total work from each equal? Hell naw. I do the majority of work if I had to guess. But then I go fishing when I want, to concerts when I want, duck hunt when I want, buy boats when I want, etc.
Bottom line, don't get into that argument--you will never win it, no matter how smart you think you are.
My wife does not work, but does laundry, keeps the house up very well, dishes and goes to wal mart because I hate it. She also shuffles the kids around. We also spend about $500 a week in babysitters and maids.
I am the sole breadwinner. Do I want to come home and cook and mess with kids? No. but if I don't, then my wife is gonna burn out.
Is the amount of total work from each equal? Hell naw. I do the majority of work if I had to guess. But then I go fishing when I want, to concerts when I want, duck hunt when I want, buy boats when I want, etc.
Bottom line, don't get into that argument--you will never win it, no matter how smart you think you are.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:50 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
let's say it's something that person enjoys, like doing a podcast or radio show
So basically a hobby that makes money? It sounds like a good idea at face value (assuming it doesn't take up more time than the chores did). You're happier, chores still get done (maybe a professional service even does a better job?), and overall the couple has more money.
ETA: If the word "fairness" is being thrown around, it could be a sign of a deeper issue IMO.
This post was edited on 6/6/18 at 12:51 pm
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:50 pm to SlowFlowPro
Mrs fin can sign in and tell you I do 0% of the household chores, she can do them herself or pay someone to do them with my money.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:50 pm to rondo
quote:
that's cute. you thinking a relationship is anything like business.
that's why i made the thread
it seems that the primary arguments against this set up are inefficient and based in only emotion
that can be flipped around. why would you ever want to inhibit your spouse/significant other from their economic potential over silly chores (that aren't even ignored. they do get done. just by 3rd parties)
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:51 pm to Motorboat
this guy.... he gets it
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:51 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
i kind of took that to an extreme, b/c if i'm going to open up new businesses i need to not be tied to chores and there are ridiculously good deals on craigslist for that kind of shite
Keep in mind...you're not wrong.
You're just crazy if you think being right here will matter. There are hills to die on...this would never been the one I would choose, but the mileage of others may vary.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:52 pm to SlowFlowPro
“Fair” in a relationship doesn’t exist. Everyone dies what they can and when one falls short the other picks up the slack.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:52 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
Keep in mind...you're not wrong.
You're just crazy if you think being right here will matter.
oh i know i'm not wrong and i know it will 100% create conflict
that's why i thought it was thread worthy
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:53 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
(just a general concept, the individual chores are irrelevant but the labor split is 50/50).
I don't think that's irrelevant.
If I'm in charge of the lawn and other outside chores, and I take a second job and use some of that money to hire Owlfan to take care of that for me, that's perfectly fair.
If I take a second job and hire a maid to only clean half the house and leave the rest to my wife, that's some bullshite.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 12:53 pm to SlowFlowPro
So someone wants to take on a 2nd job in order to pay someone to do a job, they could do, if they didn't have the 2nd job?
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