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re: Question about relationships, economic advantage of one party, and chores
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:16 pm to HoustonChick86
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:16 pm to HoustonChick86
quote:
Still seems fair since the second job is a hobby job and not taken out of necessity.
so how much you hate your job determines how much of the income from that job you should split? why?
quote:
Let the SO with the non-second job pick up the slack on general house pick up like making sure the counters are wiped down, things are picked up, stuff the maid doesn't do.
that counts as "chores" in the hypo, so that spouse would be doing "more", ultimately
1
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:16 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
so one person works more to pay for half the chores and still should do half the remaining chores?
My wife and I do not make equal salaries, our chores are not proportional to the economic value that we bring to the relationship. Not sure why it matters if there is a second job. This thread seems to be like asking if economic value should be in proportion to chores around the house. IMO, if both parties are working the answer is no.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:16 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
i'm much more envisioning this as half of ALL the chores
Then yeah...this isn't going to end well.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:16 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
how would that be my concern after finishing my second job?
that would be intentional sabotage on her end. why would i incentivize that kind of behavior?
Because thats how women operate.....
This post was edited on 6/6/18 at 1:16 pm
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:16 pm to tgrbaitn08
quote:
I just cant wrap my brain around taking a second job just to pay someone to do chores around my house and not have any money left over.
There has to be a profit margin....
Every post in this thread has indicated a profit margin. No one is working more just to break even.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:16 pm to tgrbaitn08
quote:
I just cant wrap my brain around taking a second job just to pay someone to do chores around my house and not have any money left over.
that's not what this hypothetical is about. there is a net gain after the chores are paid for
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:19 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
there is a net gain after the chores are paid for
then you take that net gain and split it as well as the chores that are left over.....it's really that simple
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:19 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
This thread seems to be like asking if economic value should be in proportion to chores around the house.
it is, but this tradeoff isn't exactly incredible
we pay for our food, clothing, and all sorts of other stuff. we exchange economic value for an easier life all the time
it's not like chores are magical. yard workers, maids, etc are common.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:20 pm to SlowFlowPro
So the time you'd normally spend doing chores
Your problem is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of household responsibility. It's not 50/50. Until you understand that you won't understand why this doesn't work.
Btw even in a business setting, you may delegate tasks, but responsibility is still shared. You could even argue that delgating tasks doesn't shift responsibility at all.
quote:
hypothetical stauts: one party has job M-F and 50% of the chores, while the other has a job M-F and a second job, while using income from the 2nd job to pay for its share of the chores (With excess leftover)
Your problem is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of household responsibility. It's not 50/50. Until you understand that you won't understand why this doesn't work.
Btw even in a business setting, you may delegate tasks, but responsibility is still shared. You could even argue that delgating tasks doesn't shift responsibility at all.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:20 pm to tgrbaitn08
quote:
then you take that net gain and split it as well as the chores that are left over.....it's really that simple
wouldn't this disincentivize a person from making that extra money? you not only have to work more, but you still have to split the profits and do 25% more work than you should be doing.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:21 pm to JohnnyKilroy
quote:
Btw even in a business setting, you may delegate tasks, but responsibility is still shared. You could even argue that delgating tasks doesn't shift responsibility at all.
quote:
you have a fundamental misunderstanding of household responsibility.
you have to define "responsibility" and "household responsibility" for me
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:21 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
My wife and I do not make equal salaries, our chores are not proportional to the economic value that we bring to the relationship.
In addition, we've never once sat down and charted who does what to really have any idea if it's 50-50!
I do some things most of the time, she does some things most of the time and there are things we each do as need be without charting it out. Never once have we consciously decided if the system was fair and balanced. We simply slid into a system that works for us.
Why am I picturing SFP and his girl hashing this all out over an Excel sheet?
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:22 pm to SlowFlowPro
Need me to come clean your house?
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:22 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
Why am I picturing SFP and his girl hashing this all out over an Excel sheet?
Because he's basically the lawyer version of Sheldon Cooper.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:23 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
you not only have to work more,
you're not working any more than you would if you didnt take the second job
You're replacing the chores around the house with the second job, i.e. working the same....
then you're actually making a $$ profit to split with your SO
The remaining chores are split 50/50
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:23 pm to SlowFlowPro
Household responsibility is things that need to be done around the house. Chores, paying bills, doing laundry etc. I'm not talking about earning money.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:24 pm to SpicyStacy
no. thank you though
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:24 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
that counts as "chores" in the hypo, so that spouse would be doing "more", ultimately
I'm saying have the maid come a few times a month to clean the house.
While you are at your second job have the SO hang up the laundry or empty the dishwasher or something. It's still a chore, but divided out more fairly. So its not like you are paying someone to clean half the house and leaving her the other half.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:26 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
Is this fair?
Fairness shouldn't enter into the equation. "Equitability"- maybe.
So, the 2 are working 3 jobs and someone is paid to do the cleaning for them. I think that gives the person working the 3rd job some privileges and rights (equitability), but particularly the "fairness" side, leave that at the door if you're just volunteering to do it (which is presumed).
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