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re: Question about relationships, economic advantage of one party, and chores
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:27 pm to LSUBoo
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:27 pm to LSUBoo
quote:
Because he's basically the lawyer version of Sheldon Cooper.
I'm smiling reading him thrash about trying to square this circle...honestly as it's really not all that hard.
If they were dating, let's say and living together and sill paying for thing separately, then this feels more reasonable. in that situation, most things may still be broken down into YOURS and MINE.
If it's marriage, then unless they've got a system very unlike mine, there is only OURS. there are no MY shores and HER chores...there's just CHORES.
So if I was to decide to pay for chores to be done in the house, there would be no possibility of picking and choosing to only pay to have mine outsourced and not hers. Even suggesting there is a defined separation in them seems odd to me.
3
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:28 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
Why am I picturing SFP and his girl hashing this all out over an Excel sheet?
this does interest me from an efficiency standpoint b/c i fear at some point this may come up in my relationship
i don't work a traditional way and i'm trying to find areas to expand into (hence reading books on marketing and business). the entire point is finding way that are +EV for me where i can create efficiencies to free up my time
i don't think i can sustain a major operation due to my personality, so 3-4 smaller operations and a modest living are my goals. but that is going to lead to a non-traditional life way different than a 9-5 mindset. i think most people really arguing with me in this thread are kind of in that normal job routine/mindset
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:29 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
it is, but this tradeoff isn't exactly incredible
we pay for our food, clothing, and all sorts of other stuff. we exchange economic value for an easier life all the time
it's not like chores are magical. yard workers, maids, etc are common.
Right, but in a relationship the economic value that you bring to the relationship, should not necessarily be equal/reciprocal to the amount of chores you do.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:30 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
Right, but in a relationship the economic value that you bring to the relationship, should not necessarily be equal/reciprocal to the amount of chores you do.
so if the person paid for all the chores and didn't split the excess, that's fair?
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:31 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
If they were dating, let's say and living together and sill paying for thing separately, then this feels more reasonable. in that situation, most things may still be broken down into YOURS and MINE.
Well SFP isn't married.
And yeah he's approaching this from more of a roommates situation than a relationship situation.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:31 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
so if the person paid for all the chores and didn't split the excess, that's fair?
Depends how things are split in the relationship.
Do they have separate bank accounts and have personal money all of their own?
If so, then sure. If not, then no.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:32 pm to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
If it's marriage, then unless they've got a system very unlike mine, there is only OURS. there are no MY shores and HER chores...there's just CHORES.
so on Saturday when you get down to doing chores, you don't split them up? how do you avoid overlap or one person constantly asking the other to come help ?
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:32 pm to SlowFlowPro
Why dont you just hire someone to do her chores with the extra $.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:33 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
SlowFlowPro
Lets say this:
My wife works more hours at her job than I do at mine...but I make more than she does.
At the end of the day our salarys are combined and we pay the bills like that....
But because she works more and makes less than I do, does that mean I have to do more chores than her?
Or since I make more and work less than she does, she has to do more chores than I do.
Now remember, we already pay a housekeeper once a week to come and clean, etc....
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:33 pm to Titus Pullo
quote:
Why dont you just hire someone to do her chores with the extra $
i was going to get there, but you eventually cut into the profits of the 2nd job you make the 2nd job much less economically viable
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:34 pm to tgrbaitn08
quote:
But because she works more and makes less than I do, does that mean I have to do more chores than her?
no b/c that's a choice you each make
quote:
Or since I make more and work less than she does, she has to do more chores than I do.
no i'm still assuming that you split all the chores regardless of that primary economic contribution
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:35 pm to SlowFlowPro
Boomers mowed their own shite, fixed their own sink and changed their own oil. Baw.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:37 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
so one person works more to pay for half the chores and still should do half the remaining chores?
You yourself, in response to my first question, made it sound like the 2nd job wasn't much of a job at all inconvenience wise.
What do you think is the answer to your original question?
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:37 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
so on Saturday when you get down to doing chores, you don't split them up?
Not really in the way you seem to be describing. Both my wife and I are huge list makers, so we both tend to do that with chores. There are things which I do most of the time and things she does most of the time...but none are assigned per se. It would be rare that we'd wright the same things down, but if we did and she got to a thing before me I'd just move on down my list...and vice versa.
So, if tomorrow I decided to tell her I'd be outsourcing MY chores, her response would be, "Exactly what do you think are MY chores?"
Most yard work would not really follow this rule though,. since I'm 100% responsible for that...so if I decided to hire some yard company it would not change any other duty. I'd still be doing whatever it is I do around the house and so would she.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:37 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
so if the person paid for all the chores and didn't split the excess, that's fair?
IMO, yes.
I'm working on the premise that all income brought to the relationship is split equally. So, if you are working a second job that income is still split 50/50. You don't get to just use 100% of it to handle some responsibility that you have, while leaving your SO to still have to perform their chores.
If you are referring to a relationship that is not a marriage this may be different, because not everyone splits income 50/50 in non-married relationships.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:40 pm to Epic Cajun
Not everyone splits income 50/50 in marriages either. I would certainly assume that will eventually be the case for SFP.
He doesn't seem like the joint accounts for everything type.
He doesn't seem like the joint accounts for everything type.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:40 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
no b/c that's a choice you each make
well yes, so is taking a second job and using your money to pay for the chores you dont feel like doing
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:41 pm to LSUBoo
i've actually thought about that a lot the past couple years as my job has focused more on divorces, trying to figure out that best split
i think a joint contribution account and separate accounts is the most successful way to go
i think a joint contribution account and separate accounts is the most successful way to go
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:41 pm to Swoopin
His hypo only makes sense if say ALL chores were performed at a preset time, and during the entirety of that preset time, the party hiring help was working a second job.
If you spend a few hours on a Saturday doing a podcast, are you sitting on your arse on Sunday-Friday when you'd normally be doing chores? That would work...if you were dating a robot.
If you spend a few hours on a Saturday doing a podcast, are you sitting on your arse on Sunday-Friday when you'd normally be doing chores? That would work...if you were dating a robot.
Posted on 6/6/18 at 1:42 pm to SlowFlowPro
At your rate of overthinking, you'll never marry.
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