Parents of teenage boys regarding phones and disturbing pictures

First off, I came to the right place. Wife (no pics) and I had a daughter (no pics) in our early 20s. We’ve had 2 pretty late boys. In our early 50s, and have 12 and 16 year old boys, daughter is gone and married. She got a phone at 16 but we kinda compromised as times change and got middle child a phone at 14. I did use to check his phone (I don’t know the appropriateness of this) and never found anything.

I at least think I blocked social media but I’m skeptical he still has access. It’s an iPhone 7, only works on WiFi. Found hidden photos on photos app. I feel like an 80 y/o southern Baptist grandma. All just pics of older women faces, some bodies in scandalous clothing. But a few of him doing things while looking at those pictures.

I realize the hilarity of this to everyone but I have no idea what to do. If I found a dirty magazine I’d laugh. Many of these pics are 2 years old so it started at 14. If I take phone away till he’s 18 is he gonna be a weirdo and even worse then? Is it normal for kids to have hundreds of pics of women on their phone in a hidden box? Why would you take a picture masturbating to an instagram lady?

I’ve never felt so old until today. I regret looking at his phone, haven’t in so long. I still have one more, no phone yet, coming to that age. I didn’t grow up with all this. Hell I grab my wife’s phone to look at nsfw threads on here. I’ve had some bad demons in my past but porn has not been one of them.

I have usually known what to say until this and I have no idea how to approach him. I don’t even know how to google how to approach him. I’m almost at a point of getting rid of his phone but he’s going to be driving soon, and even then I doubt I’d care if he has a phone. But again, I remember the hardcore parents of the 80s and all their kids went crazy after HS.


He’s never been in trouble, plays football and baseball. He’s quiet though. Had a girlfriend for a few months but they moved out of state.

I’m laughing while typing this out at future replies but in reality, I’m overwhelmed. So parents of young teens, have yall been in this situation or do yall stay away from the phone? I have most restrictive setting set up already. Blocked instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok. All these women look older than HS girls