- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Need marital advice from the gurus of the OT
Posted on 1/12/20 at 7:35 pm to TopFlightSecurity
Posted on 1/12/20 at 7:35 pm to TopFlightSecurity
Damn dude, why did you marry her if you dislike her that much. Just damn
0
Posted on 1/12/20 at 7:42 pm to diat150
What he said
Posted on 1/12/20 at 7:42 pm to TopFlightSecurity
quote:
TopFlightSecurity
So, based on what I’ve read so far, the fact that your wife wants another kid is, at most, a small part of your problem.
Your problem seems to be that you really don’t want to be with her. I mean, the fact that you’re literally like “oh well, no compromise here, time to split” tells me that you’ve got one foot out the door as it is.
So the answer is tell her that. Whatever is going on with you two, this is no time to be thinking of additional children. Tell her that this is the time for the two of you to work on y’all. Your marriage is not in a good place right now.
Either you fix it or you don’t, but more kids is not going to help you or her right now.
This post was edited on 1/12/20 at 7:44 pm
Posted on 1/12/20 at 7:47 pm to TopFlightSecurity
Way better to have two kids, suck it up buttercup
Posted on 1/12/20 at 7:55 pm to TopFlightSecurity
If you divorce now, with one kid and alimony, how much does she get per month? How much does she get when she dumps you a month after the second kid?
She is trying to raise her monthly income and you are being selfish.
She is trying to raise her monthly income and you are being selfish.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 7:56 pm to TopFlightSecurity
You mentioned marital troubles. You also seem pretty quick to think of divorce.
I hope she isn’t wanting a second child in hopes of “fixing” the marriage.
If that isn’t the case...maybe she realizes she is running out of time in her biological clock and that’s part of the desire?
Good luck and hope y’all can work it out
I hope she isn’t wanting a second child in hopes of “fixing” the marriage.
If that isn’t the case...maybe she realizes she is running out of time in her biological clock and that’s part of the desire?
Good luck and hope y’all can work it out
Posted on 1/12/20 at 8:00 pm to TopFlightSecurity
quote:
Wife is dead set on having a second kid I'm dead set against it.
She wouldn't have time to argue with you if you kept her busy cleaning and making sammiches.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 8:08 pm to TopFlightSecurity
Barter. Negotiate. My wife is 10 years younger and wanted to have a 3rd bringing my total to 5. At 44, a newborn isn’t ideal. But she brought some things to the table, I brought some things to the table, and we worked out a deal.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 8:15 pm to go_tigres
quote:
But she brought some things to the table, I brought some things to the table, and we worked out a deal.
Da butt? Another woman?
Kinky.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 8:36 pm to TopFlightSecurity
I only wanted one child. My now ex-husband wanted more and convinced me to have another. It did not fix the marriage issues and we divorced when the second child was two years old. Children do not fix broken marriages.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 8:53 pm to PrivatePublic
quote:
You absolutely should have thoroughly discussed this before getting married. You're pitting her biological programming against your personal desire and only one of those can be overridden. For comparison imagine if one day she decided she was done with sex for life. Would you just accept that as being equal to your own sexual desires
I'd just spend more time out on my motorcycle win win.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 8:54 pm to StupidBinder
quote:
So, based on what I’ve read so far, the fact that your wife wants another kid is, at most, a small part of your problem.
Your problem seems to be that you really don’t want to be with her. I mean, the fact that you’re literally like “oh well, no compromise here, time to split” tells me that you’ve got one foot out the door as it is.
So the answer is tell her that. Whatever is going on with you two, this is no time to be thinking of additional children. Tell her that this is the time for the two of you to work on y’all. Your marriage is not in a good place right now.
Either you fix it or you don’t, but more kids is not going to help you or her right now.
I'm not splitting, in it to win it. I also understand the reality that in this situation there is going to be life long resentment and that may be too much to overcome.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 8:56 pm to TopFlightSecurity
Go for it. You won’t regret it.
We are roughly the same age and I have 5 kids. We want at least 1 more and maybe 2 depending how long it takes.
We are roughly the same age and I have 5 kids. We want at least 1 more and maybe 2 depending how long it takes.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 9:01 pm to TopFlightSecurity
quote:
I'm not splitting, in it to win it. I also understand the reality that in this situation there is going to be life long resentment and that may be too much to overcome.
how many times have you cheated on your wife?
Posted on 1/12/20 at 9:06 pm to TopFlightSecurity
My youngest is 17. I have never stopped wanting a 4th child. It will never go away for her. My husband would never relent and I could never lower myself to take matters into my own hands. The only reason in your case that I would encourage you to have child is that you said you have been deployed multiple times and children give her purpose and distraction. Idle hands is the devils workshop so to speak. Occupy her and make her happy if you love her and want the marriage to continue
Posted on 1/12/20 at 9:24 pm to TopFlightSecurity
quote:
I'm not splitting, in it to win it.
I’m very glad to hear that. This isn’t at all what you’ve been saying in this thread, but good to hear.
quote:
I also understand the reality that in this situation there is going to be life long resentment and that may be too much to overcome.
Not necessarily.
If you’re not leaving and she’s not leaving, you figure out how to compromise. It doesn’t have to be either she “wins” or you “win”.
If you both decide to have another child, what things could she do to ease the burdens that would accompany that? Can she commit to doing all the nighttime feedings/care? Can she do more of the things you’re doing to compensate?
If you decide not to, is there anything else she might want? Does she want to go back to school? Start a business? Buy a new house? Does she need more time with you?
These are (obviously) examples. The point is to figure out how to meet a need while not creating (or alleviating) a burden for the other party. It’ll take some thought and discussion and some understanding from each of you, but this is doable. You two aren’t doomed to a life of one-sided resentment.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 9:33 pm to TopFlightSecurity
Have a 14 yr old daughter, kinda regret only having 1 kid. I literally couldn’t ask for a smarter more well adjusted kid. She will prob go to an Ivy League school and be a Dr or Engineer.
A sibling is the longest relationship in your life (linger than parents or significant other). It does give them a “friend” growing up and someone to share the burden of taking care of us as we age.
At the end of the day, it’s up to your wife, give her what she wants.
My 2 cents
A sibling is the longest relationship in your life (linger than parents or significant other). It does give them a “friend” growing up and someone to share the burden of taking care of us as we age.
At the end of the day, it’s up to your wife, give her what she wants.
My 2 cents
Posted on 1/12/20 at 9:51 pm to Redlos
I’m 47
Wife 43
We have an 8 year old
And 16 month old boys
We started late
But love it
It keeps me on my toes
Wife 43
We have an 8 year old
And 16 month old boys
We started late
But love it
It keeps me on my toes
This post was edited on 1/12/20 at 9:52 pm
Posted on 1/12/20 at 11:10 pm to TopFlightSecurity
Have another kid.
You are not going to live forever and your kid needs someone to stand in his wedding / talk to when you are being a douchey dad.
You are not going to live forever and your kid needs someone to stand in his wedding / talk to when you are being a douchey dad.
Posted on 1/12/20 at 11:20 pm to TigerstuckinMS
quote:
in two years you can have two kids, a wife, and a house. Or you can have none of that. Your call
I think this kinda sums it up.
Think of when you are 60, you will have two adult children to possibly provide grandchildren. I know now this probably doesn’t mean much to you, but then it will.
Page 6 of 8
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News