re: Need advice, adopted daughter, what to tell her?

I’m not sure why this is something that you would want to hide, especially given that her former parents are out of the picture completely.

No experience in the matter. But, it sounds like y'all have a good relationship with her and she is at an age that she can understand... So I would say just set her down and have that conversation with her. Be open and honest and let her dictate how the conversation goes once y'all inform her. I'm sure it will be a lot easier than you are thinking it will be.

The popularity of genetic testing is only increasing. You almost have to assume she will find out sooner or later

Idk

quote:

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What happens when she takes a home DNA test when she's 18?

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Now I'll defer to another great philospher: Obi Wan Kenobi

"What I told you is true, from a certain point of view."

Shared genes don't make family. I share genes with people I plan to never see for another second until the day I die and I've got family from the other side of the earth. That's the truth. IMO nothing good comes from a 16 year old worrying about these issues. Maybe when she's 36 or 46 and well-adjusted and well-established in her life but at 16, hell no if you ask me. If it was me, my way of thinking would be you're my daughter, period. Anybody that wants to say otherwise can meet me at Sonic.

The longer it goes the worse it will be. She deserves to know and best you tell her.

I would consult with a counselor before hand that you could let your daughter see afterwards if needed.

Good Luck!

"Dad?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Why do I have an urge to put a clay pot full of water on my head and walk barefoot down a dirt road?"

"Well..."

Pics in 2 years?

All bullshite aside, just be honest with her. She knows how much you love her, and I don’t believe that telling her will change that at all. She will eventually find out, and she very well may feel betrayed if it’s from someone besides you.

My wife and I have twin 9yr olds (both blonde hair, fair complected), and we adopted a baby with a mixed Latin origin almost two years ago. She isn’t super dark, and her hair is dark brown. My wife wants to tell her as soon as she can understand, and I wrestle with that. I can see the logic on doing it sooner rather than later, but I’m concerned on how it would affect a young child. I’d say the chances of the baby ever meeting the birth mom are slim and none, my wife tried helping her out after the birth (after our obligation to do so was done) and one day she just up and stopped responding. The father was never known.

I wouldn’t tell her now. Maybe when you is an adult and more mature you can revisit this idea. For now I don’t think it would be beneficial for either party.

Also consider if you tell her you’ve been lying all these years, she may not believe you’re telling the truth now about her biological parents