re: My oldest son is leaving for college in a few weeks, those that have gone thru this, how

My reaction was the opposite of most people’s. When our daughter was a senior, all the other moms said how hard it was going to be to leave their kids at college. I thought I would be terribly sad when that moment came. I was wrong. For me, it was a beautiful milestone. I knew that we’d raised her right, and she was excited to be there. Driving back home afterward, my husband and I felt like she was in the right place and had been prepared for that moment. Sure we missed seeing her every day, but we enjoy our visits to see her and could not be prouder of the person she has become. She has thrived academically, socially, and spiritually since graduating from high school. Kids have to leave the nest to realize their potential.

Try to focus on the positives. If your son is prepared, he’ll be fine. Sure, he might make some mistakes, but he will learn from them and be wiser for it in the end. Resist the temptation to solve his problems for him. Let him figure things out. Plus, empty nesting is not bad at all. You get to spend more time with the person you married and remember why you chose to spend your life with that person. Life is different now, but it’s a good kind of different.

I filled the day after he left with as much work as I could do. Keep busy. Call him at the end of the first day. Hard part is when he comes home the first time. Mom is going to want to treat him like he’s still her little boy. I’d encourage you to treat him like an adult.

So, your kid was like 2 or 3 when I first started posting here..

Damnit..

Make sure you have your will set up grandpa

Nicely put. Feel the same about our beautiful daughter. We will be dropping her off at Duke in a few weeks. Bittersweet for sure, but she’s a remarkable young woman and ready. Her mother and I will be fine as I married my best friend.

I was at MCRD SD a few weeks after graduation and in Iraq the next March. You’re a good dad for caring, you learn from life experience and mistakes. Just like you did.

Tell him don’t schedule 8 AMs and go to class. You can do whatever you want outside of that and be successful as long as you don’t fall into the depressing trap that is missing class. It’s like one cigarette, you think another one wouldn’t hurt until you’re past the halfway point and scrambling. It’s too common now with every class posting slides online. No one actually looks at them when they decide to not go to class even if they justify it with that. It’s the number one thing killing modern college students’ grades. Also tell him there’s no lasting love to be found these days at his age and it’s not worth the hassle right now to get into any sort of serious relationship.

I move my oldest out of state for college this upcoming weekend!!

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how Did you deal?

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My oldest is only 6 so ive got a little time

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You should have stopped this years ago.

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I definitely backed off his last two years of HS. But I still looked

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Every kid is different and a random guy on the OT telling you you did something wrong is noone to worry about.

Particularly if you are helping with paying for school, you can and should set expectations for grades. But you do have to back off on the micromanagement, if you do that, and offer help or make sure they know they can ask for help.

And sending your kids off into this world is nerve wracking because so much is sketchy now. One of ours was and is a bit naive and far too trusting at times. That one is the one we worry about most, though he is through with college at this point, I guess you never stop worrying.