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Started By
Message
Posted on 2/8/21 at 9:23 pm to ForLSU56
quote:
Cute nurse came in the room to "prep the area" for hernia surgery and when it started to rise, she took the ink pen out of her pocket and tenderly thumped junior on the head and he went right back down
Old school. A lot of older nurses were taught a thump on the head would bring about that result.
Posted on 2/8/21 at 9:27 pm to Tarps99
I’m sure this has been said already, but...
“Million to one shot, doc. Million to one.”
“Million to one shot, doc. Million to one.”
Posted on 2/8/21 at 9:29 pm to Tarps99
Prostate problems
/Thread/
I let something shoved up my arse every damned tome I go to a doctors’s office. It’s happened so many times, I feel neglected if it doesn’t happen at some point during my visit.
/Thread/
I let something shoved up my arse every damned tome I go to a doctors’s office. It’s happened so many times, I feel neglected if it doesn’t happen at some point during my visit.
Posted on 2/8/21 at 9:30 pm to Tarps99
I had just worked the day before at the ER as a nursing student. I was having pain when I peed and my balls were in pain. I went to er and got the rectal exam for prostatitis. I knew the doc and the whole staff. He hit that prostate and I clenched. He said, im gonna need the glove back. I unclinched and he had pulled tension on the glove. It popped back and shot soft poop on his scrubs and chin. We eventually worked for 5 years together. He still hates me for that.
Posted on 2/8/21 at 9:50 pm to shagnasty 2
This thread is the reason I keep coming back and offsets all the unnecessary drama at work.
Thanks for the laughs!
Thanks for the laughs!
Posted on 2/8/21 at 10:14 pm to Tarps99
I had abdomen pain when I was in HS. The doc ran bloodwork. That in itself was scary for me, because I had only been to the doctor for flu, asthma, things like that. After lots of waiting, he told me I had appendicitis and needed surgery ASAP. I was floored. I called my mom, she came down to take care of all the paperwork. I started freaking out. I was extremely nervous during the scans. By the time they got me a room, I hadn’t eaten much and only drank the chalky stuff for the CAT scan.
I was in the room, freshly changed into the gown. My parents came in to reassure me. I’d never been put under in my life. The nurse came in to let me know how things would proceed. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, my backside exposed as is the nature of a hospital gown. My stomach was in nervous knots and I decided to let out a fart. Instead, i sprayed liquid shite all over the end of the bed, my arse cheeks, and whatever small piece of the gown that reached far enough around to absorb the blow.
That’s right, I was partially nude, in front of a nurse and my parents, and launched out liquified feces onto a clean bed and gown.
I was in the room, freshly changed into the gown. My parents came in to reassure me. I’d never been put under in my life. The nurse came in to let me know how things would proceed. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, my backside exposed as is the nature of a hospital gown. My stomach was in nervous knots and I decided to let out a fart. Instead, i sprayed liquid shite all over the end of the bed, my arse cheeks, and whatever small piece of the gown that reached far enough around to absorb the blow.
That’s right, I was partially nude, in front of a nurse and my parents, and launched out liquified feces onto a clean bed and gown.
Posted on 2/8/21 at 10:15 pm to Tarps99
My first experience of becoming a father didn't go as planned. My wife and I are in hospital and she is having contractions and going into labor and the contractions become intense. The wife is making sounds I never heard before. I start to panic and call for a nurse when she comes in to see what is going on the nurse tells me you don't look good. Well I wake up 5 minutes later in a chair surrounded by 2 nurses giving me a cup of orange juice. I passed out and the wife was just shaking her head when I looked over at her. BTW the baby and the wife did just fine after my unforeseen incident.
eta: Great thread and thanks for the laughs
eta: Great thread and thanks for the laughs
This post was edited on 2/9/21 at 12:23 am
Posted on 2/8/21 at 10:45 pm to BoogaBear
quote:
Nothing beats the vulnerability of laying there in stirrups while you get snipped.
This is it for me also
Posted on 2/8/21 at 11:54 pm to IAmNERD
quote:
Twisted testicle and my sack was swollen to the size of a small grapefruit
So what was your diagnosis?
Had something similar back in the day, but was never resolved or diagnosed properly in my opinion
Posted on 2/9/21 at 1:27 am to The Torch
quote:
It hurt when I peed
I got a qtip stuck down the tip of my dong and had chlamydia from some ole bag I had smashed
#metoo
Posted on 2/9/21 at 1:30 am to Havoc
quote:
Thread winner.
Didn't even know I followed a great post like that. It's like doing a layup after Michael Jordan just slam dunked from the free throw line.
This post was edited on 2/9/21 at 3:09 am
Posted on 2/9/21 at 3:12 am to Tarps99
Thought I had an STD a few years ago, went to my doc, they did an STD test and gave me a z-pack while waiting for the results which I promptly puked up of course. Had discharge, couldn’t piss without blinding pain, like doubled over praying to almighty God just take me now. The girl I’d been fricking on and off had a UTI, but that didn’t match the symptoms I was having. Lab work comes back, nada. Did another STD test just to make sure, nada. This went on for a little over a week.
I’d started seeing a new girl, hadn’t fricked her yet because I told her what the deal was and I was in no condition to do the deed. I was still convinced I had some antibiotic resistant form of the clap that didn’t show in lab work. By this point I could barely work. I can’t describe the pain trying to piss. If you’ve had kidney stones, you know. They’d prescribed something to widen my urethra, turned my piss orange, Stained EVERYTHING. Ruined idk how many pairs of boxers. Had everyone at work just falling out laughing about it. Doctor was stumped. Eventually broke down and called my dad and told him, he goes aw shite son that’s prostatitis, I had it when I was your age. I went back to my doc, told him and he goes oh yeah that makes sense I guess.
I’d started seeing a new girl, hadn’t fricked her yet because I told her what the deal was and I was in no condition to do the deed. I was still convinced I had some antibiotic resistant form of the clap that didn’t show in lab work. By this point I could barely work. I can’t describe the pain trying to piss. If you’ve had kidney stones, you know. They’d prescribed something to widen my urethra, turned my piss orange, Stained EVERYTHING. Ruined idk how many pairs of boxers. Had everyone at work just falling out laughing about it. Doctor was stumped. Eventually broke down and called my dad and told him, he goes aw shite son that’s prostatitis, I had it when I was your age. I went back to my doc, told him and he goes oh yeah that makes sense I guess.
This post was edited on 2/9/21 at 3:13 am
Posted on 2/9/21 at 4:21 am to ColdTurkey
I had a horrendous case of chicken pox at the end of my senior year of high school. Pox in my mouth throat all over. Lost 15 pounds and wasn’t really getting better. Follow up at the doctor and my mother runs in ahead of me screaming “everyone out of the way. He’s contagious “.
Mom really knew how to cheer a guy up.
Mom really knew how to cheer a guy up.
Posted on 2/9/21 at 4:33 am to Tarps99
Pilonidal (spelled wrong) cyst on my tailbone. Extremely painful and had to have a male doctor get out all the puss.
Also embarrassing at work. Was walking around the clients office carrying around and sitting on a donut.
Also embarrassing at work. Was walking around the clients office carrying around and sitting on a donut.
Posted on 2/9/21 at 4:38 am to ksayetiger
quote:How does this happen to a micro penis?
dick got stuck in your moms arse
Posted on 2/9/21 at 5:34 am to MIKEDATIGER
quote:
So what was your diagnosis?
Had something similar back in the day, but was never resolved or diagnosed properly in my opinion
Could be a hydrocele. The diagnosis involves going into a dark ultrasound room alone with a cute nurse while she rubs KY jelly all over your balls and then runs the handheld ultrasound machine all over your balls for 20 minutes or so.
Once diagnosed with a hydrocele, you’ll get scheduled for a Hydrocelectomy in which they will wheel you into an OR full of 5-10 people while you are half drugged up where they will put you completely under and will cut on your balls to fix the hydrocele. Because the scrotum skin is very vascular it’s very difficult to suture and your balls will bleed for days during the recovery....or so I hear.
Posted on 2/9/21 at 5:45 am to Tarps99
The only time I’ve ever had a hemorrhoid. After a few days I just had to get the wife to do an inspection. “Look at my arse,somethings wrong”.
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