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re: man hitting on my wife at our community pool - how should I handle it?

Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:16 am to
Posted by tankyank13
NOLA
Member since Nov 2012
7934 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:16 am to
Any pics of the wife yet?
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
23284 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:16 am to
quote:

I am also thinking about showing his text to members of the board and requesting that his membership be revoked

Is your name Karen? Do you want to sue him too? How many other men has your wife given her number to?
This post was edited on 7/18/21 at 10:18 am
Posted by Odysseus32
Member since Dec 2009
8505 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:16 am to
quote:

He hits on your wife? Laugh hysterically with her about it and block his number.


This, OP.

If this happened to my wife we'd laugh and I'd probably comment on how ballsy it was. And then keep a close eye on him in case he takes it further by making her uncomfortable.

Posted by Mingo Was His NameO
Brooklyn
Member since Mar 2016
29821 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:18 am to
quote:

Serious question, how does me being angry that a man made a move on my wife equate to insecurity?



Becuase it's so obviously not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. The fricked up part is if he used your special needs daughter to make a move.

There's fricking weird people everywhere, unless it's continued behavior just let it go, hes weird. If you think you can protect your wife from every weird fricker in the world, I don't know what to tell you.

But you are acting like he's about to play Mr Steal Your Girl, the actual definition of the neighborhood Karen that posts on Next Door 3 times a week.
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32910 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:19 am to
quote:

Serious question, how does me being angry that a man made a move on my wife equate to insecurity?

Because it implies that you are threatened that she may take him up on it.

You're puffing your chest out to attempt to assert some misguided dominance when the appropriate reaction is to trust her to say, "I'm flattered, but not interested."

You want to immediately fight a guy or get his autistic kid banned from the pool (super lol and fricked up) for passively hitting on a woman. If she says not interested and he keeps trying, then say something.

You are going from 0-100 very fast, it points to a massive insecurity in your relationship/yourself.

You should post screenshots of the text Convo so we can judge if his conversation is even flirting.
Posted by GITiger66
Member since Dec 2019
325 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:20 am to
quote:

It is 100% “family focused” - one of the rules is no alcohol allowed inside


Sounds terrible.
Posted by dcbl
Good guys wear white hats.
Member since Sep 2013
30996 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:20 am to
quote:

You want to immediately fight a guy or get his autistic kid banned from the pool
his kid is not autistic
Posted by gadknot
Reality
Member since Jul 2005
37306 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:21 am to
quote:

his kid is not autistic


Looks like he has better genes than you, I'd steer clear.
Posted by bulldog95
North Louisiana
Member since Jan 2011
21036 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:21 am to
Pee on his leg to establish your dominance

Then pee on your wife to mark her with your scent
Posted by Antonio Moss
The South
Member since Mar 2006
48702 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:22 am to
quote:

You want to immediately fight a guy or get his autistic kid banned from the pool
his kid is not autistic


Forest and trees
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32910 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:22 am to
Ah, I misread that part.

Still, he has a kid.
Posted by mtntiger
Asheville, NC
Member since Oct 2003
28440 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:22 am to
quote:

We need pics of the wife, btw.


Sad that it took 3 pages for someone to get to the heart of the matter.

The OT is really slipping.
Posted by UKWildcats
Lexington, KY
Member since Mar 2015
18115 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:24 am to
Posted by Odysseus32
Member since Dec 2009
8505 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:26 am to
quote:

Because it implies that you are threatened that she may take him up on it. You're puffing your chest out to attempt to assert some misguided dominance when the appropriate reaction is to trust her to say, "I'm flattered, but not interested."


Again, OP, this.

You're acting like your 19. You're married with a special needs kid. The fact that you have that going on and your main worry is this guy is gonna frick your wife on the low is more worrisome.

Like Mingo said, weirdos everywhere. Acknowledge that they are weird and move on. If he keeps pressing after your wife gives him hints, that's a whole other story.
Posted by Whiznot
Albany, GA
Member since Oct 2013
7458 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:26 am to
Let your wife handle it. Decide whether to keep her depending on how she does.
Posted by SouthernStyled
Member since Apr 2021
1307 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:26 am to
quote:

So, my wife texted him


How dumb is your wife to not know that playdate is code for secks?
Posted by efrad
Member since Nov 2007
18697 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:27 am to
quote:

Serious question, how does me being angry that a man made a move on my wife equate to insecurity?



I read this thread aloud to my wife. She said the most alpha thing you could do is nothing at all... It means the dude made a swing and a miss and you won the ball game without lifting a finger.

Getting angry and making a scene implies this guy is a real threat and you need to do so in order to keep your wife in line.
Posted by Mike da Tigah
Bravo Romeo Lima Alpha
Member since Feb 2005
60804 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:27 am to
I’d go with the knee over knee approach.
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
144507 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:27 am to
quote:

into a happy family situation.
yeah I wouldn’t be so sure about this
Posted by sportsaddit68
Hammond
Member since Sep 2008
6270 posts
Posted on 7/18/21 at 10:29 am to
quote:

my wife texted him and told him to reach out & we would set it up


quote:

My wife wants to ignore the situation unless he reaches out again, she hates the idea of this being made public and does not want attention brought to herself



Oh yeah. That wife of yours has already gotten a Deep Tissue Message from this dude. You only found out about the text because she is having regrets. Enjoy the Divorce.
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