re: Male Depression....is an epidemic

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My best advice: get off the Internet

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you first.

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Short answer to all this shite: we aren’t connected as a community anymore. We are conditioned and manipulated to live our lives based on envy and pride.

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This is true. We have a natural need to belong. We have a natural desire for our efforts to matter, to serve a cause bigger than ourselves.

Decades ago, people would serve the church. However, the church has largely been replaced in our current society (mostly the church's own doing, tbh).

In the past, men in their mid 20's were taking care of a wife and kid. Thier efforts, no matter how monotonous, could then be justified by the fact that they were going to support a family.

Today, guys are waiting later to get married, and are often getting divorced. Guys just struggle to be happy trying to provide for just themselves and their own wants and needs. Many just aren't wired that way. They want to do something more permanent, more lasting, more important. This can lead to them feeling useless or worthless, like a burden. They don't want to talk about their emotions, because they see sharing their feelings as merely inflicting more of that burden on others. They then try to protect others by protecting others from themselves. This, of course, only serves to isolate them further and make them more depressed.

The reality is that depression is like living in bizarro world. The things that made you happy now make you sad. The things that used to make you sad, now seem to make you less sad, or at least numb. Depression tells you that all you want to do is ________, but the things depression tells you you want to do are the things that make it worse. What actually helps with depression is doing the opposite of everything your brain is telling you to do.

If your brain is telling you to avoid people, keep your problems to yourself, stay inside, watch tv, drink alcohol, etc; you can bet that what you should do is get outside, do something active, see friends, avoid drinking too much alcohol, and talk about what's bothering you.

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If your brain is telling you to avoid people, keep your problems to yourself, stay inside, watch tv, drink alcohol, etc; you can bet that what you should do is get outside, do something active, see friends, avoid drinking too much alcohol, and talk about what's bothering you.

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The thing is, at least with my depression, is my brain didn't tell me any of that. It just happens. It's hard to explain to people that have never been through it. One weekend I'd be hanging out with friends, playing golf, hiking, mountain biking, etc., the next I could barely get out of the bed to go get a glass of water or something to eat. There was no definitive choice I made to just lie in bed all weekend, but it would happen once every month or two.

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For my own edification, and based on the text alone, how would one determine your response was sarcastic?

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It wasnt. Hes saving face.

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Short answer to all this shite: we aren’t connected as a community anymore. We are conditioned and manipulated to live our lives based on envy and pride.

By design. My best advice: get off the Internet and TV

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Depression can be a real thing and while I totally get the “suck it up” and move forward mentality, it’s easier said than done. What’s worse is that in our culture right now, the minute you say men are a victim of something, you get laughed out of the conversation by either macho types or anti-patriarchy types.

HBO & Sanjay Gupta had a great documentary on stress about a month ago and why it’s causing so many problems in our country and why our lifespans are decreasing. It basically said that humans are the only species on the planet that get constantly fed images & suggestions that we should be living a better lifestyle. Whether it be through advertising or social media, that stuff is constantly thrown in our face and it’s basically impossible not to compare. If you’re living a nice little suburban middle class life, the stress is compounded because you could be heading up or down if some things go or don’t go you’re way. They found comparisons to this in some animal colonies. The weird thing is the same stress we all could have over receiving a bill or something difficult at work is the same stress animals have when retreating from a predator. The difference is when the animal escapes from the predator, those stress factors and how they effect the body immediately go away. With us, they linger. Causing anxiety, heart disease, depression, etc.

To your point, Gupta has a segment on the small Pennsylvania town of Roseto where it’s citizens had abnormally long lifespans and very little heart disease. Doctor’s couldn’t explain it because they couldn’t connect it with diet or anything like that. Turns out the town was a close group of people who had shared values about happiness. They had little stress because they weren’t trying to compare themselves. Instead, they supported each other.

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Hes saving face.

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no, baw

Been battling a while now. Bad days still sneak up on me

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He gets up in the morning, puts his head down, and trudges through his day in order to provide for his family. The finish line is getting the kids out of the house.

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My wife and I have battled fertility issues for 5 years now. Unfortunately that has led to a bout with depression. Really tough going to work and trudging through the day so you can be a provider for a future family that may not ever exist.

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oh jeez, really? it's called life, everyone has problems, we don't have to give it a label and become victims, just grow a pair and deal with it, like everyone has always done

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And you would say none of this to anyone to their face who is going through shite I can promise you. Keep tickling those keyboards bud


I didn't catch the sarcasm. My b