re: Male Depression....is an epidemic

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realize I was suffering from depression

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I wonder why

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a mental health crisis with my son

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at a bar to get dinner

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former Veteran

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Of course men are depressed. The world is changing in radical ways. The fact that millennia have brought us to be the breadwinners, the hunters, the danger seekers and protectors, and only in the past 60 years has that changed is enough to make men on a general level feel more depressed and worth less, but you add the attack on male culture, the loss of stable jobs for the less educated, and the general state of the world, the picture gets clearer. We live in troubled times not because the world is factually worse off, but because it is changing so rapidly that men on a global level cannot cope and are, consequently, doing shite to themselves and others and then being shown those atrocities, which just makes the pain and misery and worry that much worse. Men are having a near global identity crisis and trying to figure out who and what they are, and while women are going through much the same thing, they are being told they are brave and strong while men are being told by their shaving company that they are abusive and toxic.

Men need to form bonds with each other so they can share their experiences and let someone else help them carry the weight, and they need to learn to trust other men to appreciate what is a difficult thing to admit and not tell them that they need to "toughen up" like the 3rd or 4th poster did.

That's the type of "masculinity" we need to abandon. At least insofar as we treat our male friends. My friends need to be able to tell me about the shite going on in their lives and how that makes them feel so that they can then soldier on and be the rock upon which their families are built. They don't need to soldier on around me, though. I love my friends enough to let them be open with me and they feel the same about me. That's not weak. That's friendship. That's male kinship. We need to encourage that.

Some good points throughout this and a few other posts.

In all reality I think everyone expects life to be “better” than it realistically winds up being. Expectations for a perfect job, perfect wife, perfect kids, perfect life are what we and others convince us is “the norm”. But the norm isn’t, never has been, nor will be a real thing. Too many dips in the road, too many snake-oil dealers, shitty men and women, kids that f-up, parents that f-up, corrupt politicians/officials that use their positions to only further “their” lives...you name it. Life can be full of suck.... but it’s also full of so much awesomeness.
This whole thing called life is always going to be a rollercoaster ride. You can’t appreciate the peaks if you don’t experience the dips. But todays society wants to tell you that you need help if everything isn’t going your way. A product of the “everyone gets a trophy ideology”

It’s BS. There are times one needs to cheer, times when one needs to cry (loss of loved ones, etc) and a million levels in between. Older generations dealt with chit better because we didn’t expect anything to be given to us, including happiness. You make things happen. Yeah, there are times we get depressed, life throws some bad stuff at you, etc.. Those are the times you put your big boy pants on and dig out of it. You start a project, go enjoy a hobby or learn a new one. Girl cheats on you, you get hammered with a buddy, talk it out of your system and then go find another chick. You move on with life...because life ain’t waiting on you.

And if we want to talk vet stuff, I am one also. It’s what we signed up to do. I don’t know if you were a combat vet or not but if your depression comes from that then there are organizations that can help. But make no mistake, some things that are seen in combat are things you may just have to deal with. My pop saw alot in Nam, as I’m sure the Iraq/Stan folks did also. It sucks. I lost folks in aircraft crashes I had played base sports with and drank brews with the day before. It sucks but it goes with the territory. But if it stems from combat, please get some help.

I had some really bad anxiety where I would just worry 24/7 about everything. It really takes a toll on you after a while. Finally I got some help. Once I started feeling better mentally, I joined a gym (something I never thought I'd do). I feel much better now and have also become more social.

It's definitely harder for men to talk about it because you already know you'll be considered weak by many you speak to. The key is to overcome that, seek help and your life will ultimately improve and you'll become a happier person.

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just grow a pair and deal with it

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That's what we do, that's what we tell ourselves every damn day. That only works for so long.

I had it in my 20's til about age 33. Then, it just went away. I decided to just deal with shite much better. Hope the same happens for some of you. I was not "clinically depressed".

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Hell ya brother. Only pussies acknowledge mental illness

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Men don’t suffer the same way as others.

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By this do you women?

You may just need to have your testosterone checked. If it's low it could lead to all sorts of negative effects.

Keep in mind your testosterone could be low and everything else could function just fine. If it's low it can absolutely cause you to feel depressed, irritated, agitated, have anxiety and so on. Once it's back in the normal range you will find yourself trying to figure out how you could have ever been depressed or felt that way.