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Started By
Message
re: Just found out my father is dead - no one wrote an obituary
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:13 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:13 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
In honor of your dad
You did as much as you could be
from a father,husband,or just a man
you did the all that you can
you had blue eyes,and this is true
but there is no man you would not go through
you were the best I have ever seen
You did as much as you could be
from a father,husband,or just a man
you did the all that you can
you had blue eyes,and this is true
but there is no man you would not go through
you were the best I have ever seen
0
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:13 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
That's got to be tough man. My father wasn't a big part of my life either, but he didn't do prison time or abuse my mother. If nothing else, your writing should give you some closure. I've always sworn that I would make up for my father's mistakes by raising a family the way it should be done. So far, it's worked out. Married for 13 years with two beautiful children. I'm sure you're doing the same.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:16 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
You need a beer
I know this because after reading that I immediately thought, “damn man... I need a beer after reading that.”
I know this because after reading that I immediately thought, “damn man... I need a beer after reading that.”
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:18 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
quote:
I don’t know if I’ll come to regret that.
If you do, remind yourself to not regret it. He deliberately abandoned his family, which when I’m in charge will get you sterilized compliments of the tax payers. Your obituary was more than he deserved. I’m sorry to your 8 year old self for your loss, but realize you lost him forty or so years ago not in the past year.
This post was edited on 8/23/18 at 6:22 pm
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:19 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Damn man. That’s heavy. Sorry you went through all of that. I think Martini is douchey sometimes, but his sentiments were pretty spot on. Concentrate on being the best person that you can be. Love him despite his faults. Forgive and let go.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:20 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
This is so sad. I so very sorry.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:28 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Sorry man. I'm glad you broke the cycle of violence, it seems like your dad just couldn't beat those demons.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:31 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
I’m so sorry. It’s hard to process conflicting emotions like that.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:31 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
As harsh as we are sometimes, venting to the the OT, especially with matters like this, can be cathartic.
Hopefully this helps you find some closure
Hopefully this helps you find some closure
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:32 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Take solace in knowing you didn't have to go through all the crap of the disposition of remains/estate/etc.. And also revel in those cherished good memories of early bonding! He's gone so let the faults and negatives die with him if you can.
Obits are another form of predation upon the grieving family.
When my Dad died the end of January we found out a local obit and notice placement in his hometown paper would run $1500 for just the average sized obit, photo extra.
The vultures swoop in as soon as death occurs. Everyone reaching for the estate thinking they can make a fast buck, or thousand!
Hell, the local funeral home knew they were getting paid by the GenesisLegacy folks for whole body donation for med research and still tried to charge my Mom. Had to get her credit card issuer and the legal team at Genesis both involved to get her money back (plus advising the funeral home next would be the state board and the state AG). Damned vultures!
Obits are another form of predation upon the grieving family.
When my Dad died the end of January we found out a local obit and notice placement in his hometown paper would run $1500 for just the average sized obit, photo extra.
The vultures swoop in as soon as death occurs. Everyone reaching for the estate thinking they can make a fast buck, or thousand!
Hell, the local funeral home knew they were getting paid by the GenesisLegacy folks for whole body donation for med research and still tried to charge my Mom. Had to get her credit card issuer and the legal team at Genesis both involved to get her money back (plus advising the funeral home next would be the state board and the state AG). Damned vultures!
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:34 pm to LaBR4
quote:
how did he end up in the funeral home? Who was he close to?
This was my first question, since I knew he had almost nothing. He was a vet and some local veteran group arranged for a burial. The place I spoke to today just transported his body to the burial site.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:37 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Love your father for all the faults he had and for the theoretical wonderful person in a perfect world you hoped at one time he could have been. RIP “dad”
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:38 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Jeff!.....I'm ok!
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:39 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
But seriously,
Sorry this happened.
Sorry this happened.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:40 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
I'm glad you're there for your kids. Sounds like the cycle is broken, keep the good memories.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:40 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
I’m sorry for your loss OP. I’m in a similar situation with my dad. He didn’t bolt but he is an alcoholic and was verbally and physically abusive. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll probably never have a relationship with him, but I’m not sure how I’m going to feel when he passes away. Maybe I’ll feel sad, maybe I’ll feel nothing. It wouldn’t surprise me either way.
You should have zero regrets. You honored him by writing him back and once you realized his reaching out was all about him and not you, you had no other obligation to him. I hope you can find some peace now that you have some closure.
You should have zero regrets. You honored him by writing him back and once you realized his reaching out was all about him and not you, you had no other obligation to him. I hope you can find some peace now that you have some closure.
This post was edited on 8/23/18 at 6:44 pm
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:42 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
What does your username mean? Or who is it?
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:46 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
don't blame yourself. sounds like he was a shitty father. some people shouldn't have kids.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:47 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Maybe seek therapy. Not being a smart arse. I'm serious.
Posted on 8/23/18 at 6:48 pm to olgoi khorkhoi
Prays young man. I lost my son just a bit over a year ago and loved him. He was a good son and person. For some reason this evening, I'm having a rough time dealing with this again.
The man you knew as a child, keep those thoughts, but remember after. Asked yourself, are you a good person? Love your family? That is all that counts.
The man you knew as a child, keep those thoughts, but remember after. Asked yourself, are you a good person? Love your family? That is all that counts.
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