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Message
re: Just found out a couple guys I went to high school with recently killed themselves
Posted on 12/9/24 at 12:56 pm to Rex Feral
Posted on 12/9/24 at 12:56 pm to Rex Feral
quote:
The mid life crisis is real.
It definitely is. I saw one of my best friends go through it.
I wish he killed himself. Instead he started sleeping with my wife.
0
Posted on 12/9/24 at 12:57 pm to Pettifogger
I had a close friend of mine who died by suicide by cop nearly 20 years ago. It hit me hard and took me a long time to accept it. I'd imagine many who commit suicide are blinded by their own pain and grief that they're unable to comprehend how their death by their own hands will affect those who care about and love them. I loved my friend but if he were somehow able to come back, I'd beat the shite out of him for doing what he did because of the lifelong guilt I and the rest of his friends and family have. He drove right by my house on his way to do what he did -- the question I will always ask myself is, "surely I crossed his mind as he drove by my house; was the thought of my friendship not enough to stop him?". Was I too quiet and didn't reach out to him more? What could I have done to help? Did he want me to help and was he disappointed when I didn't reach out more?
The questions are endless and the grief is too. He pops up in my dreams probably once a week still to this day and I think of him at least once every single day. The aftermath of a suicide is immensely different than that of a regular death in my opinion. It's a different death to grieve. Very different.
The questions are endless and the grief is too. He pops up in my dreams probably once a week still to this day and I think of him at least once every single day. The aftermath of a suicide is immensely different than that of a regular death in my opinion. It's a different death to grieve. Very different.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:01 pm to Rex Feral
The toughest things in life are sometimes easily explained.
I was stuck in a rut. 45 years old.
Therapy helped but I didn’t want to be where I was. I didn’t want to die, on the contrary, I wanted to live more. Live forever possibly.
So I didn’t just sit around feeling sorry for myself, waiting for a change.
I took my balls back and moved. I completely changed my surroundings, perspective and life expectancy.
I’m living in a painting now.
Dreams just don’t come true like in the fricking movies. Happiness just doesn’t happen.
You gotta go out there and grab them.
I was stuck in a rut. 45 years old.
Therapy helped but I didn’t want to be where I was. I didn’t want to die, on the contrary, I wanted to live more. Live forever possibly.
So I didn’t just sit around feeling sorry for myself, waiting for a change.
I took my balls back and moved. I completely changed my surroundings, perspective and life expectancy.
I’m living in a painting now.
Dreams just don’t come true like in the fricking movies. Happiness just doesn’t happen.
You gotta go out there and grab them.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:08 pm to wackatimesthree
quote:
If all of life is just about money, career...even family, you can end up feeling this way.
We were made to commune with God.
He is the only thing that can deliver the kind of purpose and fulfillment that can't be lost.
This. Man wasn't created for meaningless existence in pursuit of pleasure.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:10 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:
If I needed therapy, I wouldn't care who my therapist votes for. Perhaps if one has politics as a condition of professional help, they're not a good open-minded candidate for therapy in the first place.
Most therapists are professionals and don't about specific facts. They're looking for what's causing your to have the thoughts and what you can do to mitigate the intensity and duration of them.
Now, there are some bad ones out there. I have known a couple people who went to see a therapist who told them their conservative views were wrong instead of helping them accept their situation and how to deal with the feelings it created.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:15 pm to Dire Wolf
quote:I agree. People have no respect for others personal time anymore. Phones with email, text, and calls make it where it’s hard to disconnect anymore.
As I was taking a picture of my wife holding the baby, I got a text from a customer: "I know y'all are having a baby today, but quick question..
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:15 pm to Rex Feral
Lost my dad to suicide when I was 10. It was out of the blue. You never know.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:16 pm to Dire Wolf
quote:FIFY
As I was taking a picture of my wife holding the baby, I got a text from a customer: "I know y'all are having a baby today, but quick question, does it look like me? "
Almost all of us (if not all of us) have been touched by suicide.
There's plenty of reasons why, and they vary greatly in "legitimacy".
The more I know and live, the less judgmental I am about it.
It sure sucks though.
The one that most closely touched me was over 20 years ago and the feeling from it is still different to me than the deaths of folks close to me that occurred "naturally" before and after it.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:18 pm to Rex Feral
I get it. I’m 42 and ruined my life and almost did it
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:22 pm to wasteland
Glad you didn't but most suicides are permanent solutions to temporary problems.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:44 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:
Mental health is a huge problem for men today and I'm seeing it more and more with people I know.
When is the last time most men today have been naked with a group of other men? It used to be something our ancestors did every day and now most men go a whole year or more without it. That's why they feel so disconnected and alone. There's something very powerful about male nudity.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:49 pm to OysterPoBoy
quote:
When is the last time most men today have been naked with a group of other men? It used to be something our ancestors did every day and now most men go a whole year or more without it. That's why they feel so disconnected and alone. There's something very powerful about male nudity.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 1:49 pm to Rex Feral
It is tough for adults period. Social media is hugely toxic; porn is hugely toxic. There are so many things that have a huge negative effect on mental health. Beyond the usual family, people need social connections/friends etc. That is why I started golfing and playing pickup pickleball games. To be social and active for a 43 yo dude.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 2:01 pm to OysterPoBoy
quote:
When is the last time most men today have been naked with a group of other men? It used to be something our ancestors did every day and now most men go a whole year or more without it. That's why they feel so disconnected and alone. There's something very powerful about male nudity.
When I was a little kid, the Y still didn't let women in. All the men swam in the pool naked. fricks sake the size of those old man balls...
Posted on 12/9/24 at 2:08 pm to Rex Feral
quote:
When I was a little kid, the Y still didn't let women in. All the men swam in the pool naked. fricks sake the size of those old man balls...
I'd wager that none of those men killed themselves.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 2:27 pm to el Gaucho
Your response is a ridiculous take on this, and its the sort of BS that deters people (especially men) from getting the help they need.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 2:30 pm to ToroTiger
quote:
Your response is a ridiculous take on this, and its the sort of BS that deters people
El Guacho is a troll; a funny one too
Posted on 12/9/24 at 2:32 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:you just described a bartender
I don't think the therapist's political views are important. It's mostly about having a professional who has a way with words, knows what to ask and when in the conversation to ask it. Someone who's going through issues just needs someone to talk to who can offer a professional bit of advice with a personal touch.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 2:32 pm to OysterPoBoy
quote:
When is the last time most men today have been naked with a group of other men? It used to be something our ancestors did every day and now most men go a whole year or more without it. That's why they feel so disconnected and alone. There's something very powerful about male nudity.
Another comment so gay, I'm shocked it wasn't posted by SirWinston.
Posted on 12/9/24 at 2:34 pm to Rex Feral
I’m sorry that you are going through this. When I was in my forties, several friends and coworkers committed suicide; usually it involved women or and money issues.
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