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re: Jokes of the OT
Posted on 4/29/16 at 8:52 am to Paddyshack
Posted on 4/29/16 at 8:52 am to Paddyshack
Two Aggies in a field see a pile of something brown. One says "that looks like cow shite". The other says, "I don't think so, let's smell it and see", so they smell it. They still can't agree on whether it's cow shite, so one says, "let's put our fingers in it to see if it feels like cow shite", so they do. They still can't agree, so the other one says "let's taste it to see if it tastes like cow shite", so they do. Finally, the skeptic is convinced. He says "wow, that IS cow shite!", then he continued...."so, for God's sake don't step in it!"
0
Posted on 4/29/16 at 8:54 am to TheJunction
After watching the moon for 24 hours, I called it a day.
Posted on 4/29/16 at 8:56 am to TheJunction
What time does a China Man go to the dentist?
Tooth a Hurty.
Thanks Shimmy Shack!
Tooth a Hurty.
Thanks Shimmy Shack!
This post was edited on 4/29/16 at 8:58 am
Posted on 4/29/16 at 9:00 am to TheJunction
I had Lebanese food for lunch.
Now I falafel.
Now I falafel.
Posted on 4/29/16 at 9:29 am to TheJunction
Question: Why did God make farts smell?
Answer: So Deaf people could enjoy them too.
Answer: So Deaf people could enjoy them too.
Posted on 4/29/16 at 9:47 am to TheJunction
Rebeloke and meauxjeaux2
Posted on 4/29/16 at 9:48 am to TheJunction
Man there are some great jokes in this thread
Some real knee slappers
Some real knee slappers
Posted on 4/29/16 at 9:58 am to Walt OReilly
how can you spot a leper at a party?
People are dipping chips in his back
People are dipping chips in his back
Posted on 4/29/16 at 10:03 am to TheJunction
A poor Mexican farmer had three sons and three remaining livestock. Knowing he wasn't going to have enough money he sent his sons to sell his livestock. "Ernesto my oldest I need you to take Maria our beloved Cow and sell her at Market, and get a good price", "Javier my strong middle child I need you to sell Pablo our prized Burro, and try to get a great price" and lastly to my 'special' boy Arrugar, "take this stupd duck and try to get a peso for it at least"
Arrugar was an idiot and walked around the town trying to sell the duck. A prostitute saw him and offered him sex for the duck. He took her on the offer. When finished she exclaimed how it was the best sex of her life and she traded him the duck back for sex again. After he rocked her world, she decided she still needed a duck and gave him $50.
Back at the farm house the brothers were gloating at how much they brought in, Arrugar though was happiest of all. He proclaimed, "papa papa, I got a frick for a duck, a duck for a frick and $50 for a fricked up duck"
Arrugar was an idiot and walked around the town trying to sell the duck. A prostitute saw him and offered him sex for the duck. He took her on the offer. When finished she exclaimed how it was the best sex of her life and she traded him the duck back for sex again. After he rocked her world, she decided she still needed a duck and gave him $50.
Back at the farm house the brothers were gloating at how much they brought in, Arrugar though was happiest of all. He proclaimed, "papa papa, I got a frick for a duck, a duck for a frick and $50 for a fricked up duck"
Posted on 4/29/16 at 10:03 am to TheJunction
quote:
Jokes of the OT
quote:
TheJunction
Posted on 4/29/16 at 10:48 am to TheJunction
How does an OT baller get into his lambo? He greases his hips.
Posted on 4/29/16 at 10:55 am to TheJunction
Rector? Damn near killed her.
note - only funny if you are from NE Ark...
note - only funny if you are from NE Ark...
Posted on 4/29/16 at 10:57 am to TheJunction
A woman is very afraid of the size of her opening.
So she goes to her mother, she says what am I going to do I’m so big down there when I marry Harry he’s going to divorce me.
Her mother says don’t worry sweetheart it runs in the family, do what I did when I married your father. Go to the market, get some raw liver, put it in there he’ll never know the difference.
So she does.
They have eight hours of sex after their marriage. She wakes up at 10 o’clock, he’s gone but there’s a note on her pillow.
It says -:
“My darling Harriet.
To think that I waited a year to consummate our loving relationship makes my heart beat so loudly I’m surprised it didn’t wake you up.
The only reason I’m not here now darling is that I’m at work to make enough money to buy you a house, a picket fence, we’ll have dogs and children.
When the 5 o’clock dinner bell rings I will be home like the winged Gossamer of love in your arms.
Your loving husband, Harry.
PS. Your count is in the sink.
So she goes to her mother, she says what am I going to do I’m so big down there when I marry Harry he’s going to divorce me.
Her mother says don’t worry sweetheart it runs in the family, do what I did when I married your father. Go to the market, get some raw liver, put it in there he’ll never know the difference.
So she does.
They have eight hours of sex after their marriage. She wakes up at 10 o’clock, he’s gone but there’s a note on her pillow.
It says -:
“My darling Harriet.
To think that I waited a year to consummate our loving relationship makes my heart beat so loudly I’m surprised it didn’t wake you up.
The only reason I’m not here now darling is that I’m at work to make enough money to buy you a house, a picket fence, we’ll have dogs and children.
When the 5 o’clock dinner bell rings I will be home like the winged Gossamer of love in your arms.
Your loving husband, Harry.
PS. Your count is in the sink.
Posted on 4/29/16 at 11:18 am to TheJunction
Arkansas state trooper pulls over Billy, and asks if he has an ID.
Billy asks " 'bout what?"
Billy asks " 'bout what?"
Posted on 4/29/16 at 11:33 am to TheJunction
A 90 year old man visits his doctor to get a physical before his upcoming marriage.
When he tells the doctor he's getting married to a 19 year old girl, the doc says, "Sir, as your physician I feel obligated to tell you that the physical exertion expended during sex might prove to be fatal."
The old man thinks a few seconds and replies, "Well, doc, if she dies, she dies....."
When he tells the doctor he's getting married to a 19 year old girl, the doc says, "Sir, as your physician I feel obligated to tell you that the physical exertion expended during sex might prove to be fatal."
The old man thinks a few seconds and replies, "Well, doc, if she dies, she dies....."
Posted on 4/29/16 at 11:37 am to TheJunction
Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows?
They're really making headlines...
They're really making headlines...
Posted on 4/29/16 at 11:50 am to BlastOff
Why is Kim Jung's library so big?
Cause he supreme reader
Cause he supreme reader
Posted on 4/29/16 at 12:07 pm to Artie Rome
quote:
What time does a China Man go to the dentist? Tooth a Hurty. Thanks Shimmy Shack!
To all you down voting dong gaggers, read the paper. The Shimmy Shack in Harahan actually had this "joke" on their sign like yesterday.
Ignorant fricks.
This post was edited on 4/29/16 at 12:10 pm
Posted on 4/29/16 at 12:23 pm to Big_Sur
The autocorrect of "count" (may not be a kosher word here it changed mine) ruined the punch line. I like long read silly punchline jokes, not many else seem to. lol
*btw moist is a dirtier word, ask any woman.
*btw moist is a dirtier word, ask any woman.
This post was edited on 4/29/16 at 12:24 pm
Posted on 4/29/16 at 12:32 pm to Napoleon
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