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Message
re: It doesn't make you a "cool dad" when you tell kids to call you by your first name
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:08 am to WestBay
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:08 am to WestBay
I was raised to say "Mr. {first name}" if it was a family friend and "Mr. {last name}" if it was an acquaintance or stranger.
Hell, I'm 56 and still call my in-laws Mr. Steve and Miss Dee Dee.
It's a sign of respect. Now, if the adult had specifically asked me to call them by just their first name when I was a kid I probably would have done so, but felt weird about it.
Hell, I'm 56 and still call my in-laws Mr. Steve and Miss Dee Dee.
It's a sign of respect. Now, if the adult had specifically asked me to call them by just their first name when I was a kid I probably would have done so, but felt weird about it.
0
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:11 am to WestBay
quote:
If a parent is trying to teach their kid manners only a loser would tell the kid to do different
You still don’t get it. You’re making it about yourself which is the opposite of what you’re trying to teach. You assume everyone believes and thinks the way you do which is very close minded.
What if it’s rude in THEIR culture to do what you are saying? You’re response is, “they are a loser, don’t listen to them, do it my way”
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:16 am to kciDAtaE
quote:The exact opposite is also true.
You still don’t get it. You’re making it about yourself which is the opposite of what you’re trying to teach. You assume everyone believes and thinks the way you do which is very close minded.
The dad who wants to be called by his first name is making it about himself and is being selfish.
Why is this only a one way street with your opinion?
Also, authority, boundaries, and discipline are integral to the healthy development of children.
A child is not on the same level with ANY adult figure, and they should recognize and understand that boundary.
This post was edited on 11/15/23 at 8:18 am
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:16 am to kciDAtaE
quote:
You assume everyone believes and thinks the way you do which is very close minded.
And this is exactly how we’ve ended up where we are in society today. Good manners are a universal value—or at least were before the entire country went to hell.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:21 am to WestBay
File this under "Who TF cares?"
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:21 am to Scruffy
quote:
The exact opposite is also true.
The dad who wants to be called by his first name is making it about himself and is being selfish.
Why is this only a one way street with your opinion?
No. The dad who wants to be called by his first name is applying that concept with respect to himself. He's not telling the kid to call other people by their first names. The distinction is that WestBay is telling his kid to call other people Mr. notwithstanding their wishes.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:22 am to Riverside
quote:
And this is exactly how we’ve ended up where we are in society today. Good manners are a universal value
Oh good Lord.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:22 am to Scruffy
quote:
The dad who wants to be called by his first name is making it about himself and is being selfish
Are you trying to teach your son respect or the grown man that you just met?
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:23 am to WestBay
I always called parents Mr/Mrs Last Name.
I found it odd when someone would call my parents “Mrs First Name.”
I found it odd when someone would call my parents “Mrs First Name.”
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:34 am to Mo Jeaux
quote:
The distinction is that WestBay is telling his kid to call other people Mr. notwithstanding their wishes
Incorrect. I just happened to be there for this time and told the Dad to knock it off. I never discussed it with my kid, mostly because I felt like he's likely to forget the whole conversation happened.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:38 am to WestBay
When they get older just be happy they call you. It's really like "Cat's in the Cradle" if they live far away
Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:39 am to WestBay
quote:
Incorrect.
quote:
I just happened to be there for this time and told the Dad to knock it off.
OK. Sorry. You did something that was much more rude in that you told the other person that they can't express their wishes. Instead of being mildly jerky in an indirect manner, you were a complete a-hole. Posted on 11/15/23 at 8:51 am to Riverside
quote:
Good manners are a universal value—or at least were before the entire country went to hell.
In what world is addressing someone the way in which they would like to be addressed not good manners?
If a kid calls Bill Smith "Mr. Smith" and Bill Smith says, "No please, you can call me Bill," it's not poor manners for the kid to then call him Bill. Conversely, if Bill Smith gets in a tizzy because the kid continues calling him Mr. Smith or "Mr. Bill" then that's on him.
Bill Smith is also not undermining the kid's parents by asking to just be called "Bill."
Posted on 11/15/23 at 9:03 am to WestBay
Might be an unpopular opinion here, but...who cares? If someone wants you to call him Bill instead of Mr. Smith, then it's more respectful to call him Bill than Mr. Smith.
Having worked with younger folks for a little while now, I have found that students are more likely to listen to you when you don't condescend/patronize them and treat them (to an extent, of course) like an equal.
I know that sounds counterintuitive but when you let a kid/student call you by your first name, they seem to feel that you respect them more and then they'll give that respect back to you.
Just my experience!
Having worked with younger folks for a little while now, I have found that students are more likely to listen to you when you don't condescend/patronize them and treat them (to an extent, of course) like an equal.
I know that sounds counterintuitive but when you let a kid/student call you by your first name, they seem to feel that you respect them more and then they'll give that respect back to you.
Just my experience!
Posted on 11/15/23 at 9:06 am to WestBay
My father was Mr. Beasley, call me Sir Beasley.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 9:09 am to kywildcatfanone
quote:
Young parents don't parent. It's why their kids are the way they are and become the adults they become.
So using your logic it's actually the grandparents fault for parenting the way they did and letting the young parents become the adults they became
Posted on 11/15/23 at 9:11 am to WestBay
yea using Mr./Mrs. got so beat into my head as a kid I still use it as an adult. Plan on teaching my daughter the same.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 9:12 am to WestBay
quote:
However, if I am there then I have no problem telling the Dad it's not happening because thats not how I'm raising him
So you're raising him to believe your way is the only way and that the other dad's way is fundamentally wrong?
That's certainly a take.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 9:15 am to WestBay
I’m 41 and still call my dad’s friends Mister. Come to think about my dad and his friends call each other mister.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 9:20 am to pelicansfan123
I think it depends on the context/relationship. Some of my best friends' kids call me by my first name, but I'm like an uncle to them. Would be weird if they called me Mr.______. Our neighbors and more distant acquaintances are "Mr. ____, Ms. ______"
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