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re: I Come to the OT for some help today.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:28 pm to The Torch
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:28 pm to The Torch
quote:
I wish my wife would leave
OP doesn't recognize the gift he's been given, a chance to get it right and have a shite ton of fun along the way. If my marriage was to sudden break apart, that's one of the main perks I'd have to look forward to. Those two months before you realize your girlfriend is crazy and you need to dump her are awesome.
0
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:29 pm to RLDSC FAN
Do you have significant vacation time you can take?
I like the advice of moving out of the house or to another town, or something like that.
Religious? I ask about vacation, this may be a great time for a total reboot. Maybe walk the Camino de Santiago, that's on my list of things I'll likely never get to do.
Best to you.
I like the advice of moving out of the house or to another town, or something like that.
Religious? I ask about vacation, this may be a great time for a total reboot. Maybe walk the Camino de Santiago, that's on my list of things I'll likely never get to do.
Best to you.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:33 pm to RLDSC FAN
Pecker is correct man. When I got divorced all I did was work out, read a lot of books, and just took an interest in the world at large.
When you do that you start to feel so much better that before long you wonder why you were ever sad to begin with. Or at least you start to realize it's no where near as seriously loss as it feels in this moment.
You actually start to get a sense of who you are as a person and lose that identity you and the wife adopted as a "couple". A lot of men and women identify to much as a couple and not as two people who are independent. I was guilty myself. It's hard when your girl NEEDS the world to know you're dating or you get asked about a SO by almost everyone.
Bonus is that women start to flock. It's biproduct and not the main goal but it helps because you realize that there are some wonderful people out there.
When you do that you start to feel so much better that before long you wonder why you were ever sad to begin with. Or at least you start to realize it's no where near as seriously loss as it feels in this moment.
You actually start to get a sense of who you are as a person and lose that identity you and the wife adopted as a "couple". A lot of men and women identify to much as a couple and not as two people who are independent. I was guilty myself. It's hard when your girl NEEDS the world to know you're dating or you get asked about a SO by almost everyone.
Bonus is that women start to flock. It's biproduct and not the main goal but it helps because you realize that there are some wonderful people out there.
This post was edited on 6/5/17 at 1:37 pm
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:34 pm to RLDSC FAN
I know what you're feeling man. I still hate those nights, and sometimes I can't sleep. I just wanted to go to work and go home. But it wasn't until I started getting out that I got better. I suffered severe depression. I wouldn't even answer when my family called me. Dealing with that was and still is hard. And the last thing you want to hear is, "it'll get better." But it will. Little by little, it will.
I've always enjoyed writing or reading, so that's what I got back to. Those nights when I can't sleep, I pick up my laptop or notebook and just write. I also always wanted to learn how to play guitar, so I started watching YouTube videos and taught myself. I'm a shy person, so going and doing things by myself was also very hard. But now I enjoy going to a movie or to the beach by myself. Then you start to realize life can still be pretty awesome.
I've always enjoyed writing or reading, so that's what I got back to. Those nights when I can't sleep, I pick up my laptop or notebook and just write. I also always wanted to learn how to play guitar, so I started watching YouTube videos and taught myself. I'm a shy person, so going and doing things by myself was also very hard. But now I enjoy going to a movie or to the beach by myself. Then you start to realize life can still be pretty awesome.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:38 pm to RLDSC FAN
quote:
But when I'm at home alone (like right now) it gets very overwhelming.
Honestly, when you look back on this time you will see those moments when you're home by yourself feeling sad as the time where you actually got through it. It's good to stay busy like you've been doing. But it's also important to have time to process everything and deal with your pain.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:39 pm to RLDSC FAN
I went through a divorce 15 years ago due to the ex getting herself addicted to meth and refusing help. Not sure if you have children, but that is what got me through it. I retained full custody for obvious reasons, and the divorce itself only affected me to the extent that it affected my kids. It really didn't matter what was done to me, only what was done to them. I have long ago forgiven her for what she did as it pertained to me, but I am still somewhat bitter about what she did to our children. Maybe that is wrong of me, but it is just hard to let that go. On the upside, both of my boys are grown now, and are fine young men. She still really hasn't gotten her act together and has not tried to contact them since, but they have adjusted really well.
As I say, my focus was my kids, but if you don't have any or don't have custody, my advice would be to find something you are passionate about. Focus on doing things that bring you joy. Read a lot, travel as much as you can, enjoy some time for yourself. Make a list of things you want to do or places you want to go, and work towards that end. Best of luck to you.
As I say, my focus was my kids, but if you don't have any or don't have custody, my advice would be to find something you are passionate about. Focus on doing things that bring you joy. Read a lot, travel as much as you can, enjoy some time for yourself. Make a list of things you want to do or places you want to go, and work towards that end. Best of luck to you.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:43 pm to dukke v
quote:
Damn dude......
atleast I have a loving wife who has stayed by my side through all of this....
that's a lie, I'm single, fighting the good fight solo!
Has OP been talked off the ledge yet?
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:44 pm to danfraz
quote:
Has OP been talked off the ledge yet?
don't think. i think your story is making him feel worse about how bad he feels about his situation that pales in comparison to your tragic situation.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:46 pm to RLDSC FAN
frick you pussy. suck it up and get laid.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:47 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
don't think. i think your story is making him feel worse about how bad he feels about his situation that pales in comparison to your tragic situation.
Well that wasn't my intention. I think he should say damn, it could be worse. I could be like that guy who won't have any innards.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:51 pm to danfraz
I'm trying to get some work done today. I'm sorry for what you're going thru. I definitely know things could be a lot worse. How old are you btw?
I'm sorry for what you're going thru. I definitely know things could be a lot worse. How old are you btw?Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:52 pm to danfraz
quote:they are going to take out those organs and put in fancy robotic organs
danfraz
you are going to be the 6 Million Dollar Man
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:54 pm to RLDSC FAN
quote:
I'm trying to get some work done today
Then you are getting better!!
quote:
I'm sorry for what you're going thru
appreciate that but no need for sorries, I've accepted my fate.
quote:
I definitely know things could be a lot worse
when you feel down, remember that phrase right there
quote:
How old are you btw
49. I'm a early bloomer!!!
Posted on 6/5/17 at 1:58 pm to RLDSC FAN
I find most people usually aren't proactive about getting through something like this.. that's the worst thing you could possibly (not?) do... Eventually, time will just numb you to whatever happened, without healing anything.
Throw away all the tangible parts and pieces of your breakup and emotions, etc. You can do whatever you want to escape the pain and emptiness but until you change your mindset about the whole situation, you will still be defeated. Stay positive, set new goals, and appreciate the things that you do still have in your life and you will be fine... the only real tragedy would be you not learning anything from this experience
Throw away all the tangible parts and pieces of your breakup and emotions, etc. You can do whatever you want to escape the pain and emptiness but until you change your mindset about the whole situation, you will still be defeated. Stay positive, set new goals, and appreciate the things that you do still have in your life and you will be fine... the only real tragedy would be you not learning anything from this experience
Posted on 6/5/17 at 2:01 pm to FLAK88
Damn...yeah they want the fricking world! You bust your arse to give it to them and "you weren't paying me enough attention so I fricked this other guy". Women are all Sociopaths...the fairer sex my arse.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 2:04 pm to RLDSC FAN
It will get better and you should find a support group (not the OT) or a therapist.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 2:09 pm to RLDSC FAN
Find some good documentaries to watch when you're home alone.
Start taking jui jitsu classes
Start taking jui jitsu classes
Posted on 6/5/17 at 2:09 pm to DaBike
Been where you are.
Always remember this...There may be pain in the night, but joy cometh in the morning.
It's going to get rockier and deeper,but know that there's always morning.
Always remember this...There may be pain in the night, but joy cometh in the morning.
It's going to get rockier and deeper,but know that there's always morning.
Posted on 6/5/17 at 2:15 pm to X123F45
Pornhub.com
Posted on 6/5/17 at 2:23 pm to Popths
suicide watch.... 
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