re: how to handle mom issue

Honor your mother regardless of whatever happened. You won't regret it.

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Don’t forget she gave you a decent childhood- that’s a lot more than many children get.

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And it sounds like she did it alone…

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She just called me to say "How come you traveled with your dad and but never asked me to go anywhere?"

how can I respond kindly to her?

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What did you say when she asked? "Mom, give me a minute to see what the OT suggests, and I'll get back with you on that."

Or is this an answering machine situation? If so, delay and hope it is forgotten.

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TSS4LSU

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Im going on vacation next week and I tell my mom I am. She just called me to say "How come you traveled with your dad and but never asked me to go anywhere?"

The truth is that I was probably punishing her some for keeping me and him away from each other. Also she is a user and never called me since Ive been an adult except to ask for something she needed. Even when I was going thru a troubling time in life did she once call just to see how I was doing.

With that background...how can I respond kindly to her? She is old and ill and we've improved our relationship though she still is very needy and call to ask for shite.

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If your true thoughts and feelings are going to upset her, what do you stand to gain by telling her? You mentioned that your relationship has improved and that she is old. Be the bigger person, and let it be.

I know we all have it in us to prove that we're right, but I can promise you this. It doesn't matter. If you're going to reconcile this, reconcile this in your own mind and make peace with it.

If there's a window to forgive, to make peace, to simply be there ... take it. Let go of pride. The things we hold onto often pale in comparison to what we lose when it’s too late.