re: How patient should you be in a relationship?

I was in a shitty relationship for awhile. Thought about leaving many times but stuck it out. I regret not leaving before I did. There's usually red flags we ignore. But I didn't have kids so that's an entirely different situation.

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How patient should you be in a relationship?

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when it's been shitty for a while

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It depends. If you have been together 6 months and the last 3 have been bad I would bounce, if you had been together 5 years and the last 3 months have been rocky you probably should give it a little more effort before you give in. It also depends how much you like her and if you think you want to end up with her, if you love her and can see her being the one work on it. Walking away is WAY easier than finding a good girl so keep that in mind and do what you can to make it work but if you don't think she is the one and its a daily fight then its not worth it.

You have to be simple and straightforward. Let her know that you are no longer willing to tolerate the way things are. Ask her if she is able to change or not.

She will tell you that you are wrong and that things are not the way you see them. She will also tell you that any problems are all your fault. Stay the course. Let her know that you are not trying to argue or nitpick every little detail, or fault. Once again ask if she is able to change or not.

Please tell me that she does not have access or control of the money that you earn. She is not your wife and that right has not been earned. If she does, fix that before you talk with her or you will come home to empty accounts.

not enough detail to make an informed decision.

You got to walk that lonesome road yourself.


get couples counseeing, and you will get a better perspective. maybe group therapy.

there's no way to share enough so your privacy will be respected.

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Im trying to be patient but I the relationship with his mother has been a drag and I don't feel appreciated.

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I did not know the timeline and medical history before my last post. She was pregnant, then dealing with a majorly sick child for 33 months of your 36 month relationship. Due to logistics, you have no idea who she really is, nor she you.

Y'all have never had the time to build a base for a proper relationship. The ongoing health concerns will consume most of the time you have to get things right.

It is a tough situation but you should at least know her well enough by now to know if she is a quality human being. Have you tried giving her breaks from the pressures of life and seen if that makes a difference. Both you and her need some down time to recharge your batteries.

Good luck.

Get out now would be my advice. At least watch Divorce Corp on Netflix before tying the knot.

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3 year relationship.

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2 year old son

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unmarried, but engaged

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I found your problem. Trashy.

Eta: lol at the downvoters. OP is the poster boy for why you aren't supposed to make kids with people you don't really know outside of marriage. My money is on broken home and you know you would take the same bet. I hope I'm wrong for the kid's sake.

Honestly just figure out whether or not you think you both will be happy in the long run or not. My parents divorced when I was not even a year old and I definitely feel like it was for the better knowing what I know now.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't put up with any shite. There are too many single girls out there to settle for a lackluster relationship.

That said, you better be bringing shite to the table too. High quality women want high quality men.

I mean it's very possible the child was the result of contraception error, so calling the OP names when it's very possible he was being responsible is very judgmental. In actuality, contraception failure is a lot more common than people think. Unless you think premarital sex in its entirety is trashy.