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Started By
Message
re: How long after the death of a spouse is it normal to start dating again?
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:49 pm to kywildcatfanone
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:49 pm to kywildcatfanone
quote:
Your right hand doesn't count as a partner.
who said it was the right?
0
Posted on 8/1/19 at 6:02 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
It also depends on the quality of the relationship when their significant other passed.
I have a friend (not close) whose wife passed away unexpectedly. Things had been rocky for at least a year processing her death.
He started dating his now-wife about a month after. He mourned her of course, but he wasn’t broken by her death and he wanted to be married. I didn’t know about her until almost a year after his first wife died.
Like you said, never judge someone until you’re on that persons exact situation.
This post was edited on 8/1/19 at 6:03 pm
Posted on 8/1/19 at 6:12 pm to FlagLake
What I find disrespectful is when I see a surviving spouse from a lengthy marriage go on social media and start proclaiming that they've found their true love. That's shitting on their late spouse's memory as far as I'm concerned.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 6:16 pm to Eightballjacket
quote:
What I find disrespectful is when I see a surviving spouse from a lengthy marriage go on social media and start proclaiming that they've found their true love. That's shitting on their late spouse's memory as far as I'm concerned.
It's not disrespectful to find love again and acknowledge it. My goodness, it's like coming out of the dark into the light. Why can't they be happy again and what right do you have to be offended by someone's new found happiness?
Posted on 8/1/19 at 6:17 pm to FlagLake
quote:
This is a weird thread.
I probably would have agreed w/ this before my sister died a few years ago and BIL was dating again within about 3 months. My other sister, my wife, her friends all thought that was terrible AND I was guilty by association cause I wasn’t as offended as they were - hell I wasn’t offended at all.
Now I know I am expected to wait at least a year before even thinking about dating. Good news is I’ll probably die first.
I told that story to a female co-worker and she pointed out to me that men are really out gunned. When the wife dies all the available single women bring food to the home, this is weeks after the funeral, and they are essentially “auditioning” to be the new wife. Don’t hold it against your cousin’s husband for dating so soon; he never had a chance resisting that woman.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 6:41 pm to FlagLake
Don't see how anyone can judge a man or woman for such a circumstance unless they have fallen to similar circumstances. Even then the circumstances are never the same.
I've seen two families torn apart because of this very scenario the last 7 years and those families were rock solid all the way until the father started dating another woman soon after the death of the spouse. In one of these cases the wife died suddenly and without warning in a day; the second case the wife had been sick for years mysteriously after coming back from a trip to China. The husband did all he could for his wife and spent half their retirement for her treatment until her death. Still, after all that some of his offspring tool offense to him finding a partner not a year after her passing, although she told him before her death that she did not want him to be alone.
I may not like what you do, but I won't judge you ever. I'll leave that up to the all knowing.
I've seen two families torn apart because of this very scenario the last 7 years and those families were rock solid all the way until the father started dating another woman soon after the death of the spouse. In one of these cases the wife died suddenly and without warning in a day; the second case the wife had been sick for years mysteriously after coming back from a trip to China. The husband did all he could for his wife and spent half their retirement for her treatment until her death. Still, after all that some of his offspring tool offense to him finding a partner not a year after her passing, although she told him before her death that she did not want him to be alone.
I may not like what you do, but I won't judge you ever. I'll leave that up to the all knowing.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 7:14 pm to FlagLake
3-5 months
Posted on 8/1/19 at 7:16 pm to FlagLake
7
Posted on 8/1/19 at 7:21 pm to GeauxxxTigers23
quote:Exactly! At my Aunt's funeral my Uncle in law was saying how he'd never marry again, he had been through too much between her dying of Alzheimer's and 35 years earlier his 1st wife being the textbook definition of a worst wife possible.
This is a weird thread. Maybe the man just needs some companionship.
Not 6 months later he was married again.
Saw that coming as I was literally chuckling overhearing him at Aunt's funeral. He's just not the type person to live alone. Which is fine. Different strokes for different folks.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 7:21 pm to PipelineBaw
quote:Now, now, there. Slow down, I’ve got a couple of questions:
You can ask that filthy blackwidow whore that is my step mother and shed agree with your cousin. fricking bitch had multiple dates within 3 weeks of my Dad dying of a heart attack at her side.
Was your Pops heavily insured?
If so, Pics of the “filthy blackwidow”?
That is all for now.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 7:22 pm to FlagLake
My mama got married a year after my dad died. Was a little sooner than I thought it would be.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 7:22 pm to FlagLake
I think it depends on the circumstances. Was it a sudden, unexpected death? Then yes, that’s really odd. If she had a long battle with a terminal illness then it’s possible he had mentally prepared himself for her passing. Either way, it’s not a good look from an outsider’s perspective.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 7:34 pm to FlagLake
350 minutes
Posted on 8/1/19 at 7:46 pm to FlagLake
My BIL died a couple years ago not long after retiring ( maybe a month) He left my sister 250k with 401k plus life insurance. My sister not only dated a bum but moved him in and they spent the 250k in less than two years( casino mostly) and he died last year. She has another POS living with her now and he’s in ICU as of yesterday
This post was edited on 8/1/19 at 7:48 pm
Posted on 8/1/19 at 8:39 pm to FlagLake
I suppose as long as I have young children I wouldn’t date at all. My need for affection pales in comparison to my children’s need for as much stability as possible after losing a parent. If my children were older then probably a few years.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 8:55 pm to FlagLake
Depends on age, too. At 75, how long are you going to wait?
Posted on 8/1/19 at 8:57 pm to FlagLake
The decision for the husband to start dating early may have been a joint one made between the husband and deceased wife, before she died.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 9:01 pm to FlagLake
If my wife passes on prematurely, I believe I'd take at least a year. I've got young kids, so I would have to get back in the game sooner rather than later. It's tough to think about, I wouldn't/couldn't sit around dwelling on it, kids would require my upmost attention.
This post was edited on 8/1/19 at 9:02 pm
Posted on 8/1/19 at 9:03 pm to FlagLake
One year is what I’ve always heard, if you had children . I think shorter without children, but still nothing public or social media for a year.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 9:03 pm to FlagLake
probably a year, unless the surviving spouse did not love the deceased one. then about 2 weeks.
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