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Started By
Message
re: How long after the death of a spouse is it normal to start dating again?
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:30 pm to BARNEYSTINSON
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:30 pm to BARNEYSTINSON
quote:
How did your cousin pass? Was it a long time Illness with long time suffering? Was it quick? If it was a long drawn out process, a bunch of the moving on and closure probably happened before your cousin passed.
Unexpected death, 40 years old. Had some medical issues but nothing to think she would pass away at that age. Two kids together.
1
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:31 pm to FlagLake
quote:
Unexpected death, 40 years old. Had some medical issues but nothing to think she would pass away at that age. Two kids together.
that's a little quick, especially to go public
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:31 pm to FlagLake
Some people can't be alone..I can and it pisses off my GF when I just want to hang at home alone..She got a little suspicious and would just show up out of the blue..It didn't bother me..I just laughed.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:33 pm to FlagLake
Uncle literally married a chick 20 years younger than him about three months after my aunt lost her battle with cancer.
Pretty goddamn trashy imo.
Pretty goddamn trashy imo.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:33 pm to FlagLake
I can only answer for myself that if my wife were to die, I'd probably be a basketcase for a few months. I'd definitely need family to step in and help with the kids until I got my shite together. But to go out and start screwing some other woman? Would be the last thing on my mind.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:33 pm to Athis
quote:
Some people can't be alone..
My FIL is this way. He's living with us now. I tell my wife, he wants to be alone, but not by himself.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:34 pm to RealityTiger
quote:
I can only answer for myself that if my wife were to die, I'd probably be a basketcase for a few months.
#needitgeekstoconfirmthatsoisnotlurkingbeforecommenting
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:35 pm to FlagLake
It took my brother 3.5 years, but he was also raising a very young child, so that added an additional complication. 5 weeks does seem fast to me, but every person and every situation is different.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:35 pm to 777Tiger
I don't get it?
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:36 pm to FlagLake
Hold up everyone.
And yet, still no pics. Three pages in.
quote:
Plenty of pics
And yet, still no pics. Three pages in.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:36 pm to kywildcatfanone
quote:
he wants to be alone, but not by himself.
I'm a loner but I'm never alone....
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:39 pm to FlagLake
You should read articles on this especially those written by people who have lost spouses suddenly and over time.
There is no timeline. I've learned that many people are so lonely from the loss of a spouse that many times they seek that kind of companionship and love in short order. I find this to be particularly true of men. I personally know of several men who dated and remarried in a very short period of time. These men had solid marriages and families. They were miserable and they wanted it again. Their new spouses did not replace those they lost.
I also know of a woman who suddenly lost the love of her life. I never thought she'd marry again, but she did. It wasn't in that short a period of time, but it wasn't a long time either. She was totally lost without her husband and retreated. Then, she met another love of her life. She still grieves the loss of her first husband and she visits his grave frequently.
It may seem to be a short time to you, but you're not walking in those shoes either. A week of misery, grief and loneliness can seem like a lifetime for folks. Pray for them to have a happy life together. He's already suffered enough grief. Being happy with someone else doesn't mean he no longer misses or cares for the one he lost.
When someone wants so badly to feel that happiness again and is so lonely without it, it's a compliment to the kind of relationship they had.
There is no timeline. I've learned that many people are so lonely from the loss of a spouse that many times they seek that kind of companionship and love in short order. I find this to be particularly true of men. I personally know of several men who dated and remarried in a very short period of time. These men had solid marriages and families. They were miserable and they wanted it again. Their new spouses did not replace those they lost.
I also know of a woman who suddenly lost the love of her life. I never thought she'd marry again, but she did. It wasn't in that short a period of time, but it wasn't a long time either. She was totally lost without her husband and retreated. Then, she met another love of her life. She still grieves the loss of her first husband and she visits his grave frequently.
It may seem to be a short time to you, but you're not walking in those shoes either. A week of misery, grief and loneliness can seem like a lifetime for folks. Pray for them to have a happy life together. He's already suffered enough grief. Being happy with someone else doesn't mean he no longer misses or cares for the one he lost.
When someone wants so badly to feel that happiness again and is so lonely without it, it's a compliment to the kind of relationship they had.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:41 pm to whit
quote:I'm going to make an educated guess that the op's cousin in law was discreet about it for some time, probably more than 5 weeks.
If you’re gonna do it that damn early at least be discreet about it.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:41 pm to Athos
quote:
Uncle literally married a chick 20 years younger than him about three months after my aunt lost her battle with cancer.
Pretty goddamn trashy imo.
Do you know how much he was grieving watching his wife die during that battle? A friend of mine lost his wife to years of battling cancer. He reminded me that his loss began years before her actual death. Think about it.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:43 pm to FlagLake
Men 1 week
Women couple of years
Women couple of years
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:43 pm to FlagLake
quote:
Plenty of pics on Facebook
Too bad there aren't any pics of this broad on here to help us decide.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:43 pm to Gris Gris
quote:
his loss began years before her actual death. Think about it.
this is what the punks on here aren't getting, in that scenario of course
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:47 pm to kywildcatfanone
quote:
Tough call. Do you want them to sit around and dwell?
Yes
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:47 pm to 777Tiger
Your right hand doesn't count as a partner.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:48 pm to 777Tiger
I find it extremely tough to judge someone going thru something I've never experienced.
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