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Posted on 6/3/23 at 1:58 pm to TDTOM
What did the officer say to his belly button?
You’re under a vest!
You’re under a vest!
Posted on 6/3/23 at 2:02 pm to TDTOM
You know what teenage cows are?
MOOOOOOOOOODY
MOOOOOOOOOODY
Posted on 6/3/23 at 2:04 pm to TDTOM
Why did Mickey Mouse kill Minnie Mouse?
She was fricking Goofy!
She was fricking Goofy!
Posted on 6/3/23 at 2:13 pm to TDTOM
I told my Wife I was building a model of Mount Everest, she asked, "Is it to scale?",
I replied, " No, it's to look at"
I replied, " No, it's to look at"
Posted on 6/3/23 at 3:51 pm to TDTOM
Why are barns red?
Because they use red paint
Because they use red paint
Posted on 6/3/23 at 4:07 pm to TDTOM
I was gonna tell you a joke about time travel but you didn’t get it.
Posted on 6/3/23 at 4:12 pm to TDTOM
Why did the chicken go to the gym?
To strengthen his pecs.
To strengthen his pecs.
Posted on 6/3/23 at 4:19 pm to LegendInMyMind
quote:
Did you hear about the scarecrow?
He was outstanding in his field.
Not how it goes.
Why did the scarecrow get an award....
Posted on 6/3/23 at 4:22 pm to TDTOM
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
R!
What's his second favorite letter?
The C!
R!
What's his second favorite letter?
The C!
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:02 pm to kook
quote:
Splat!! Bug hits wind shield!!! you know the last thing that went through that bug's mind? No. His arse!!!
Whenever a big bug would splatter on the windshield during road trips my dad would always say “it took a lot of guts to do that”
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:02 pm to TDTOM
My wife told me I needed to get more in touch with my feminine side
So I crashed the car.
So I crashed the car.
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:04 pm to atxfan
Real old guy approached me one time and I thought he was lost/ dementia or something was wrong. With a concerned look on his face he asks “Did u hear they outlawed round bales of hay?” I said no sir and he says “They want the cows to have a square meal”. Then he waits about 5 seconds before a big grin.
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:07 pm to TDTOM
I dreamed I ate a giant marshmallow, woke up my pillow was gone
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:10 pm to TDTOM
My family is worried about my addiction to brake fluid. But I know I can stop at anytime.
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:14 pm to TDTOM
What do you call a deer without eyes?
- no eye deer
What do you call a deer with without legs and eyes?
- still no eye deer
- no eye deer
What do you call a deer with without legs and eyes?
- still no eye deer
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:19 pm to TDTOM
My grandpa developed an addiction to viagra. No one is taking it harder than me.
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:38 pm to TDTOM
What do you call the Italian Projects?
The Spaghetto.
The Spaghetto.
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:40 pm to cwil177
What’s the difference between a Chickpea and Garbanzo bean?
I’ve never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
I’ve never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:44 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
the 2 dads sucked each other off and took the trans child shopping, but a white supremacist honked at them and their EV
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