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re: Give me your best dad joke

Posted on 6/3/23 at 1:50 pm to
Posted by kook
Berrytown
Member since Sep 2013
1894 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 1:50 pm to
Splat!! Bug hits wind shield!!! you know the last thing that went through that bug's mind? No. His arse!!!
Posted by domesticengineer
Member since Oct 2017
240 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 1:58 pm to
What did the officer say to his belly button?
You’re under a vest!
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124081 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 2:02 pm to
You know what teenage cows are?






MOOOOOOOOOODY
Posted by BabySam
FL
Member since Oct 2010
1504 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 2:04 pm to
Why did Mickey Mouse kill Minnie Mouse?

She was fricking Goofy!
Posted by East Coast Band
Member since Nov 2010
62759 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 2:13 pm to
I told my Wife I was building a model of Mount Everest, she asked, "Is it to scale?",

I replied, " No, it's to look at"
Posted by 75503Tiger
Member since Sep 2015
4184 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 3:51 pm to
Why are barns red?

Because they use red paint
Posted by drexyl
Mingovia
Member since Sep 2005
23059 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 4:07 pm to
I was gonna tell you a joke about time travel but you didn’t get it.
Posted by BayouBlitz
Member since Aug 2007
15842 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 4:12 pm to
Why did the chicken go to the gym?

To strengthen his pecs.
Posted by BayouBlitz
Member since Aug 2007
15842 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 4:19 pm to
quote:

Did you hear about the scarecrow?

He was outstanding in his field.


Not how it goes.

Why did the scarecrow get an award....
Posted by atxfan
Member since Jul 2004
3526 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 4:22 pm to
What is a pirate's favorite letter?

R!

What's his second favorite letter?

The C!
Posted by Hickok
Htown
Member since Jan 2013
2865 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:02 pm to
quote:

Splat!! Bug hits wind shield!!! you know the last thing that went through that bug's mind? No. His arse!!!

Whenever a big bug would splatter on the windshield during road trips my dad would always say “it took a lot of guts to do that”
Posted by bperki6
The light side of the moon
Member since Feb 2008
556 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:02 pm to
My wife told me I needed to get more in touch with my feminine side




So I crashed the car.
Posted by fontell
Montgomery
Member since Sep 2006
4448 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:04 pm to
Real old guy approached me one time and I thought he was lost/ dementia or something was wrong. With a concerned look on his face he asks “Did u hear they outlawed round bales of hay?” I said no sir and he says “They want the cows to have a square meal”. Then he waits about 5 seconds before a big grin.
Posted by Jiggy Moondust
South Carolina
Member since Oct 2013
811 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:07 pm to
I dreamed I ate a giant marshmallow, woke up my pillow was gone
Posted by Cuz413
Member since Nov 2007
7274 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:10 pm to
My family is worried about my addiction to brake fluid. But I know I can stop at anytime.
Posted by Chingon Ag
Member since Nov 2018
2793 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:14 pm to
What do you call a deer without eyes?

- no eye deer

What do you call a deer with without legs and eyes?

- still no eye deer
Posted by cwil177
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2011
28429 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:19 pm to
My grandpa developed an addiction to viagra. No one is taking it harder than me.
Posted by partsman103
Member since Sep 2008
8090 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:38 pm to
What do you call the Italian Projects?

The Spaghetto.

Posted by ksdolfan
Houma, La.
Member since Sep 2007
1539 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:40 pm to
What’s the difference between a Chickpea and Garbanzo bean?

I’ve never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
Posted by saint tiger225
San Diego
Member since Jan 2011
35371 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:44 pm to
quote:

the 2 dads sucked each other off and took the trans child shopping, but a white supremacist honked at them and their EV



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