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Posted on 6/3/23 at 11:05 pm to TDTOM
What do a near-sighted gynecologist and a yellow lab have in common?
A wet nose.
A wet nose.
This post was edited on 6/3/23 at 11:12 pm
Posted on 6/3/23 at 11:13 pm to TDTOM
Did you hear the joke about the couch?
It was “sofa” unnyyyyy!!!!!!
It was “sofa” unnyyyyy!!!!!!
Posted on 6/3/23 at 11:14 pm to TDTOM
When's the best time to go to the dentist?
2:30
2:30
Posted on 6/4/23 at 12:54 am to deeprig9
What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen
Eileen
Posted on 6/4/23 at 1:08 am to slaughlin
quote:What do you call an Asian woman with one leg longer than the other?
What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen
Irene
Posted on 6/4/23 at 2:29 am to Iron Lion
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
My pops was a retired firefighter. Apparently, they have a warped sense of humor.
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
My pops was a retired firefighter. Apparently, they have a warped sense of humor.
Posted on 6/4/23 at 5:23 am to TDTOM
My dad's favorite gag when introducing me to someone I didn't know was:
Have you met my son? He looks just like his father. If I ever get a hold of that guy, he's in big trouble.
Have you met my son? He looks just like his father. If I ever get a hold of that guy, he's in big trouble.
Posted on 8/7/23 at 7:31 pm to TDTOM
I used to work for Nathan's Hot Dogs.
I got fired bc I couldn't cut the mustard.
I got fired bc I couldn't cut the mustard.
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:24 pm to ksdolfan
quote:
What’s the difference between a Garbanzo bean and Chickpea?
I wouldn't pay to have a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
What’s the difference between a Garbanzo bean and Chickpea?
I wouldn't pay to have a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:29 pm to Iron Lion
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russell
Russell
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:29 pm to BabySam
He didn’t kill Minnie.
The judge said “Mickey I can’t let you divorce Minnie because you think she’s silly….”
Mickey replied “I didn’t say she was silly, I said she’s f@&!king goofy!”
The judge said “Mickey I can’t let you divorce Minnie because you think she’s silly….”
Mickey replied “I didn’t say she was silly, I said she’s f@&!king goofy!”
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:31 pm to Wraytex
That's much better 
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:33 pm to TSmith
quote:
I’m a fan of one that comes out on road trips. When passing through places like Cuba, AL., or Paris, TX., you have to say “whoa we must have taken a wrong turn!”
No bullshite, when passing Georgiana, AL my wife looked over at me and says, "Hmm, I didn't know Georgia and Louisiana touched."
Almost dropped her off on side the road right there
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:37 pm to TDTOM
My Dad told me this probably around 1978. I was duly impressed:
A harpist in San Francisco died and there was a will reading for the family. His wife asked the lawyer who he bequeathed his cherished harp to. The lawyer informed his wife he left it to the owner of his favorite disco, a kindly man named Sam Frank. His wife was outraged and said," but why Sam Frank?". The lawyer opened the will and read the harpists words " I left my harp in Sam Frank's disco".
Get it? Ugh. :rimshot:
A harpist in San Francisco died and there was a will reading for the family. His wife asked the lawyer who he bequeathed his cherished harp to. The lawyer informed his wife he left it to the owner of his favorite disco, a kindly man named Sam Frank. His wife was outraged and said," but why Sam Frank?". The lawyer opened the will and read the harpists words " I left my harp in Sam Frank's disco".
Get it? Ugh. :rimshot:
Posted on 8/7/23 at 8:39 pm to TDTOM
I've got an entire book of them the kids and grandkids gave me.
Posted on 8/7/23 at 9:36 pm to TDTOM
You can't run in a campground...
You can only ran because it's past tents.
You can only ran because it's past tents.
Posted on 8/7/23 at 9:52 pm to TDTOM
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way------unique up on it!
Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way------unique up on it!
Posted on 8/7/23 at 9:55 pm to GeauxOCDP
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to stupids house.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Chicken…
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Chicken…
Posted on 8/7/23 at 9:56 pm to Shanegolang
Sandwich walks into a bar. The Bartender says, “Get out we don’t serve food here.”
This post was edited on 8/7/23 at 9:56 pm
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