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re: Give me your best dad joke

Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:47 pm to
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65611 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:47 pm to
Every time we passed a cemetery equipped with a fence or wall, it was

“Know why there’s a wall (or fence) around that cemetery? People are just dying to get in there.”
Posted by OWLFAN86
The OT has made me richer
Member since Jun 2004
175813 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:48 pm to
Hysterical Markers

Pops was a laugh riot
Posted by LSUBoo
Knoxville, TN
Member since Mar 2006
101917 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 5:48 pm to
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.


I had to put my foot down.
Posted by Flipflopfly
Slidell
Member since Jul 2011
167 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 6:11 pm to
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?


Eight? Nope!

Tentacles
Posted by The Next
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2013
417 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 6:26 pm to
I can’t stand being in this wheelchair . . .
Posted by LSU0358
Member since Jan 2005
7918 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 6:29 pm to
What do you call a cow on two legs?

Lean beef.
Posted by Auburn80
Backwater, TN
Member since Nov 2017
7494 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 6:33 pm to
2 peanuts walked through a park.

One was a salted.
Posted by Hickok
Htown
Member since Jan 2013
2865 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 6:33 pm to
quote:

What do you call a cow on two legs?

Your mom
Posted by Bullfrog
Institutionalized but Unevaluated
Member since Jul 2010
56211 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 6:37 pm to
I'm going to start a grocery store for fat virgins.


It's a huge untapped market.
Posted by DrewTheEngineer
Baton Rouge (Oak Hills)
Member since Jun 2006
992 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 6:46 pm to
Why was the math book so sad?































It had a lot of problems.
Posted by cwil177
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2011
28429 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 7:36 pm to
The other day my doctor told me that I had to stop masturbating. I asked why. He said, “because I’m trying to examine you.”
Posted by Paco_taco
Dallas, Tx
Member since Apr 2012
1361 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 8:51 pm to
What sound does a giraffe make when it dies?




Thud.
Posted by TheWalrus
Member since Dec 2012
40477 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 9:08 pm to
Damn that’s a good one
Posted by Bayou nights
Nashville
Member since Aug 2019
417 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 9:57 pm to
Lost my job at the bank today, a lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her.
Posted by deeprig9
Unincorporated Ozora, Georgia
Member since Sep 2012
63941 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 10:06 pm to
How does a train eat its food?



It chew chews.
Posted by meansonny
ATL
Member since Sep 2012
25593 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 10:26 pm to
quote:

Damn that’s a good one

I laughed out loud.

But if that is a dad joke, I hope his kids are grown.
Posted by TigerinKorea
Member since Aug 2014
8287 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 10:28 pm to
quote:

What do you call a cow on two legs


quote:

Your mom


Posted by GruntbyAssociation
Member since Jul 2013
3639 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 10:44 pm to
A duck walks into a bar and says, “give everyone another round and you can put it on my bill.”
Posted by UtDawg
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2023
323 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 10:48 pm to
Biden is the president
Posted by GoIrish02
Member since Mar 2012
1390 posts
Posted on 6/3/23 at 10:51 pm to
What kind of key unlocks a banana?

A monkey

Where can you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him
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