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re: Give me your best dad joke

Posted on 11/6/23 at 2:11 pm to
Posted by tss22h8
30.4 N 90.9 W
Member since Jan 2007
18657 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 2:11 pm to
I once went to a soccer match in Warsaw. Seating in the stadium was terrible. No matter where I sat, I was always sitting behind a Pole.
Posted by Big Scrub TX
Member since Dec 2013
33403 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 2:18 pm to
We found out my grandfather is badly addicted to Viagra.

We were all pretty upset, but no doubt - my grandmother is taking it the hardest.
Posted by TigerCoon
Member since Nov 2005
18860 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 2:36 pm to
What's blue and smells like red paint?



Blue paint.
Posted by madmaxvol
Infinity + 1 Posts
Member since Oct 2011
19129 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 2:38 pm to
When I die, I want to go like my grandfather...in my sleep...






...not screaming and on fire like the passengers on the bus he was driving.
Posted by StrongOffer
Member since Sep 2020
4329 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 2:50 pm to
The nurse at the sperm bank said I should masturbate in the cup. I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't know if I'm ready to compete just yet."
Posted by Red Boarman
Member since Oct 2023
323 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 3:07 pm to
(While driving shuttle or to a hike) Hey kids, where is Mr. Peabody's favorite place to take the Wayback Machine.

Dad, please, not again. . ..



Posted by Swamp Angel
Georgia
Member since Jul 2004
7271 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 3:11 pm to
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
Posted by EastBankTiger
A little west of Hoover Dam
Member since Dec 2003
21318 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 3:43 pm to
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

My dad had issues.
Posted by Dickaroos
Nunya
Member since Feb 2013
484 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 11:04 pm to
Do you know why there’s a fence around that graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
Posted by GruntbyAssociation
Member since Jul 2013
3642 posts
Posted on 11/6/23 at 11:29 pm to
I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa.
This post was edited on 11/6/23 at 11:29 pm
Posted by SmelvinRat
Slumwoody
Member since Oct 2015
1390 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 12:00 am to
A hunter was walking in the woods and came upon a naked lady sitting on a tree stump.

The naked lady seductively says to the hunter, "I'm game."

The hunter looked at the naked lady and says, "okay" and shot her...
Posted by mmmmmbeeer
ATL
Member since Nov 2014
7430 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 12:11 am to
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?






Because it was dead.
Posted by dragginass
Member since Jan 2013
2740 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 12:50 am to
** driving by a pasture of cows**

Dad: those are summer cows.

Kid: huh?

Dad: summer brown, summer black, and some have spots.
Posted by phil good
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2013
1540 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 1:14 am to
What do you call two black guys in a red sleeping bag?


Kit Kat
Posted by im4LSU
Hattiesburg, MS
Member since Aug 2004
31935 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 3:21 am to
Know why you never see bison hiding in the woods?





They are really good at it.
This post was edited on 11/7/23 at 5:06 am
Posted by 75503Tiger
Member since Sep 2015
4184 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 5:09 am to
Why did the milkshake?

The burger was banging and the fries were rocking.
Posted by 75503Tiger
Member since Sep 2015
4184 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 5:14 am to
Why do women wear tight bras?

To prevent milkshakes
Posted by 75503Tiger
Member since Sep 2015
4184 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 5:15 am to
Did you hear about the angry cook?

He made the milkshake
Posted by 75503Tiger
Member since Sep 2015
4184 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 5:17 am to
What happens to your cereal in an earthquake?

The milkshakes
Posted by 75503Tiger
Member since Sep 2015
4184 posts
Posted on 11/7/23 at 5:21 am to
What happens if a cow gets cold?

The milkshakes
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