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Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:50 am to UptownJoeBrown
The divorce is generally the less of the issues as property settlement is normally straightforward. Getting 50/50 custode is much more important.
In my divorce, my high price lawyer did absolutely little for her $12k.
I could have got one for 1/2 as much that did the same.
In my divorce, my high price lawyer did absolutely little for her $12k.
I could have got one for 1/2 as much that did the same.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:50 am to Beaued up
Normally, I'd say get your own attorney as things could get nasty, particularly when kids and custody questions cloud judgements.
But..
Also, consider a mediator. I have a friend that mediates, and it can be successful alternative.
Using a mediator for divorce can be a smart choice, depending on your situation. Mediation tends to be faster, less expensive, and less adversarial than going to court. It allows both parties to negotiate in a more cooperative environment, potentially leading to better outcomes—especially if children are involved.
A skilled mediator can help guide discussions about assets, custody, and support while keeping emotions in check. However, mediation works best when both spouses are willing to communicate and compromise. If there's significant conflict, dishonesty, or an imbalance of power, litigation might be necessary.
Could help you collectively save a lot of coin.
But..
Also, consider a mediator. I have a friend that mediates, and it can be successful alternative.
Using a mediator for divorce can be a smart choice, depending on your situation. Mediation tends to be faster, less expensive, and less adversarial than going to court. It allows both parties to negotiate in a more cooperative environment, potentially leading to better outcomes—especially if children are involved.
A skilled mediator can help guide discussions about assets, custody, and support while keeping emotions in check. However, mediation works best when both spouses are willing to communicate and compromise. If there's significant conflict, dishonesty, or an imbalance of power, litigation might be necessary.
Could help you collectively save a lot of coin.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:52 am to Mo Jeaux
quote:
lol. It’s a cost. You’re just giving money away, but that’s divorce in a nutshell.
Well if its going to cost money anyway, spending money in a smart way is an investment in the circumstances.
Every vehicle purchase is a cost, but some of them can also be investments if you pick something practical and reliable, or something that allows you to run a specific business.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:54 am to 777Tiger
If a client isn’t going to take my advice, I fire the client.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:54 am to Matt225
quote:
The divorce is generally the less of the issues as property settlement is normally straightforward. Getting 50/50 custode is much more important.
In my divorce, my high price lawyer did absolutely little for her $12k.
I could have got one for 1/2 as much that did the same.
I'm not trying to be ridiculous here, but bitching about 6k overall to have a better divorce attorney in-case something went off the rails is kind of crazy to me.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:54 am to Mo Jeaux
quote:
What do you think caused it? Do you share any blame?
What are you, his therapist? It's not your concern.
To OP, get your own lawyer.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:57 am to Beaued up
Jeffrey Whittenbrink.
He actually talked my husband out of expensive litigation.
He actually talked my husband out of expensive litigation.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:58 am to Mo Jeaux
quote:
What?
If you aren’t going to accept the recommendations and advice of your legal counsel, just represent yourself. No decent attorney is going to let the client call all of the shots. In the end, the client just ends up wasting money and ends up worse off.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:58 am to Beaued up
I am going to give you the advice I wish someone would have given me when I was in your shoes a few years back:
A year from now, when the dust settles, your life will be immensely better off. You will learn a new normal and EVERY aspect of your life will improve.
Enjoy the ride. Life goes on and on…
A year from now, when the dust settles, your life will be immensely better off. You will learn a new normal and EVERY aspect of your life will improve.
Enjoy the ride. Life goes on and on…
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:59 am to Beaued up
quote:
I am trying not to get messy and want it to go as smooth as possible.
She’s gonna get messy. Thankfully, I’m not divorced but it seems to happen everytime from what I’ve seen from friends and family. Get a good lawyer.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 9:59 am to Riverside
quote:
If a client isn’t going to take my advice, I fire the client.
I can understand that but that the attorney works for the client and should be open to discussing alternative strategies
Posted on 6/4/25 at 10:01 am to Beaued up
I am a lawyer and do low- or no-conflict divorces on the side, so it's very possible you don't need your own lawyer.
If you and your wife agree on assets and agree on the kids, there is no reason you need to spend $5-10k or anything close to that.
Typically, a spouse calls me and tells me what they've worked out. I call the other spouse to verify. Then I draw up paperwork for them and get them to both sign everything. While I only represent the spouse who called me, I'm very upfront with the other spouse. As long as you are reasonably intelligent and can read and understand what you're signing, there's not much to it. Most of the time, no one even has to go to court a single time.
**This is really only for an average family (kids, house, cars, retirement/bank accounts, etc.). If you own a business or a bunch of properties, then you probably do want your own lawyer.
But if the above describes your situation, you don't need to waste a bunch of money on a lawyer for your own or one who will stir a bunch of shite up. But they will gladly take your money if you let them.
If you and your wife agree on assets and agree on the kids, there is no reason you need to spend $5-10k or anything close to that.
Typically, a spouse calls me and tells me what they've worked out. I call the other spouse to verify. Then I draw up paperwork for them and get them to both sign everything. While I only represent the spouse who called me, I'm very upfront with the other spouse. As long as you are reasonably intelligent and can read and understand what you're signing, there's not much to it. Most of the time, no one even has to go to court a single time.
**This is really only for an average family (kids, house, cars, retirement/bank accounts, etc.). If you own a business or a bunch of properties, then you probably do want your own lawyer.
But if the above describes your situation, you don't need to waste a bunch of money on a lawyer for your own or one who will stir a bunch of shite up. But they will gladly take your money if you let them.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 10:02 am to lsumailman61
quote:
Don’t use the same Lawyer. My brother was in your shoes and got fricked by the female Lawyer and his wife. He’s still paying for it 10 years later. Get a Bulldog and don’t give an inch.
I worked with a guy who got divorced and they used the same attorney. Dude basically signed over all his worldly possessions including his dog. He now lives in a one bedroom apartment. We tried to talk him out of it and get his own attorney, but the divorce came out of nowhere and he was too distraught to really care.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 10:04 am to boxcarbarney
We need the backstory baw
Posted on 6/4/25 at 10:11 am to Beaued up
Find the best and badest female attorney out there.
If you don't get to her first, your wife will use her and you will pay later.
If you don't get to her first, your wife will use her and you will pay later.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 10:12 am to 777Tiger
quote:
I can understand that but that the attorney works for the client and should be open to discussing alternative strategies
Sure. That’s perfectly fine. That’s how you represent a client. I was responding to the “advice” that the client would get to “call the shots.” That’s not a healthy attorney-client relationship.
Posted on 6/4/25 at 10:14 am to Beaued up
Get your own lawyer
Find one that fights for men and that will listen to your wants and needs. You’re the client. Don’t let them talk you into doing things you don’t want but know your rights and what you are legally entitled too. The longer it drags on the more it’s gonna cost you.
Find one that fights for men and that will listen to your wants and needs. You’re the client. Don’t let them talk you into doing things you don’t want but know your rights and what you are legally entitled too. The longer it drags on the more it’s gonna cost you.
This post was edited on 6/4/25 at 10:22 am
Posted on 6/4/25 at 10:15 am to Riverside
quote:
If you aren’t going to accept the recommendations and advice of your legal counsel, just represent yourself. No decent attorney is going to let the client call all of the shots. In the end, the client just ends up wasting money and ends up worse off.
You sound like an arrogant prick and a bad attorney to boot. You work for them, that’s an undeniable fact. You have every right to fire them, that doesn’t mean you aren’t a prick and/or right
Posted on 6/4/25 at 10:20 am to Beaued up
As I am not an attorney but a family law paralegal - Do not use the same attorney. Get your own and let her get her own.
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