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Do you find yourself threatening, repeating your instructions, or raising your voice in an attempt to get your children to obey? Are you frustrated because nothing seems to work? It could be that faulty child-training methods have snared your line of thinking.

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A quick bribe or mild threat looks appealing to a parent's appetite for gaining control of a child, especially in a hurried situation. So, we take the bait -- hook, line, and sinker. It's not until later that we realize we're caught in a tangled net of ineffective parenting.

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1. Bribing
To bribe a child into obeying is to motivate him wrongly. Bribing encourages children in selfishness, as their motive for obeying is personal gain. Bribing sounds like, "If you clean your room you can rent a movie tonight" or "If you don't misbehave in the grocery store, you can pick out candy at the check out counter. We should simply state the standard and follow through with consequences when that standard is violated.

2. Counting to Three.
When we count to three, we cause our children to get into the habit of delayed obedience Delayed obedience is disobedience. Counting to three encourages them to put off obeying until absolutely necessary. We want our children to view obedience as their best option, not a choice that is put off until the last minute.

3. Threatening
This is one of my biggest struggles in parenting. I'm so tempted to say, "If you don't do this, then these will be the consequences." Moms, this is how we get ourselves in a pickle. If we tell them there will be a consequence then by golly there better be one. Otherwise, we might cause them to question our word. Our children need to have confidence that our word is our word.

4. Appealing to their emotions
Parents often try to appeal to the emotions of the child by making them feel guilty. "After all I do for you, this is how you repay me," moans the parent with a sad face. We don't want our children's motives for obeying to come from a parent-inflicted guilt trip.

5. Reasoning with small children
Parents should avoid trying to talk their children into obedience. Reasoning with small children erases the line of authority between the parent and the child, and places the parent in a position of being out smarted! We should avoid statements like, "Are you ready to go to bed?"

Asking the child if he would like to do something places him on a peer level with the parent. The parent who tries to reason with her child usually ends up frustrated, and the child usually ends up disrespecting her authority by arguing rather than obeying.

6. Repeating or going back on instructions
We should never issue a warning or command without following it through. This rule of thumb requires that we think before we speak.

We got a lot of bad parents out there folks. Now, you may not think I understand what it's like to be a parent, and that's fine, but I've seen enough bad parents to know that you guys certainly don't have things figured out. I may not have human children, but I do have two adopted bird children (pictures upon request), and in many ways I do understand your struggles.

So let Uncle Pecker help. Because he cares.

It seems that most parents have lost sight of what's truly important - the full development of their children and preparing them for life outside of the home. They eschew the tedious and difficult aspects of parenting in favor of that which is easier and more enjoyable. Instilling an attitude of respect and administering discipline (in a loving and caring way), are essential but oft-neglected aspects of parenting.

We often criticize children of today for lacking respect and an understanding of responsibility. But what do we expect when we've extended childhood into years 20-25? We've done this because parents are't doing their jobs. 18 year-olds are graduating high school with no idea what to do with their lives, completely unprepared for the real world. Learning, reading and responsibilities have been replaced by iPads and Playstations and an Xbox. Parental mentoring has been replaced by endless travel sports tournaments.

We don't have a cultural problem with our children; we have a cultural problem with our parents.

My bird children recently left the nest, flying off under their own power. And I often lament any missed opportunities for teachable moments. I don't know if they'll ever come back. But I know that I did my best. I know that I prepared them for the dangerous world in which they now spread their wings. I hope you will do the same. I'm rooting for you, one parent to another.