- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Couples who decide not to have kids.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:25 am to keakdasneak
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:25 am to keakdasneak
The cultural aspect is very interesting to me as well. There are certain cultures that place very high value on rearing as many children as they can spit out no matter if they can afford to take care of them or not.
The thought honestly must not ever enter knto the equation.
I cannlt fathom the thought process since employt and financial stability was the number one deciding factor before my wife and I had kids.
The thought honestly must not ever enter knto the equation.
I cannlt fathom the thought process since employt and financial stability was the number one deciding factor before my wife and I had kids.
2
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:27 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
Truth be known, comparing your life to others is a very dangerous thing to ever get into. It begets two uglies, pride and envy. Nothing good comes from it.
is that a quote from someone? if not,
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:29 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
I'm gonna say there is a whole lot more suck in the world than not having kids. Kids growing up in dysfunctional or broken homes is significantly more sucky. Which begs the question, is having kids always about the kids or about the couple, or mother's joy in life? It's a very heavy responsibility, and one that should never be taken lightly, and so I can easily see both sides to this, and there just isn't a one size fits all answer for all couples in life, and not everyone has the same path or purpose in life either. That's why comparisons and group think or group purpose is a failure.
Truth be known, comparing your life to others is a very dangerous thing to ever get into. It begets two uglies, pride and envy. Nothing good comes from it.
Beat post in this thread.
Raising a kid is about upholding an obligation to the child and an obligation to society. It's not so you can have a little buddy or someone to take care of you when you're old. You should take care of you. You should decide if you're the kind of person who can keep those promises and maintain your sanity and you shouldn't be looked down on or pitied because you opted not to become a shitty parent.
It's subject to ridiculous bias. No one will admit they made the wrong choice at risk of people assuming they aren't satisfied with their lives. Are there people who regret having kids? Yes. Will they admit it? Not likely. Are there people who age and feel empty without kids? Yes. Will they admit it? In my experience, not likely.
Live your life and understand that there is no "right" choice to satisfy everyone.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:30 am to meauxjeaux2
Financial stability is an understandable reason to wait.
We started waiting because we wanted more financial stability, but now that we have achieved that, we learned that we may be facing a big move next year that will require us selling the house and relocating to an area neither of us are familiar with. There always seems to be a reason for us to wait.
We started waiting because we wanted more financial stability, but now that we have achieved that, we learned that we may be facing a big move next year that will require us selling the house and relocating to an area neither of us are familiar with. There always seems to be a reason for us to wait.
This post was edited on 8/4/14 at 8:35 am
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:30 am to meauxjeaux2
quote:
The cultural aspect is very interesting to me as well. There are certain cultures that place very high value on rearing as many children as they can spit out no matter if they can afford to take care of them or not. The thought honestly must not ever enter knto the equation. I cannlt fathom the thought process since employt and financial stability was the number one deciding factor before my wife and I had kids.
These people aren't typically the most intelligent folks out there
I will never understand people who choose to have children before they are financially stable.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:40 am to Epic Cajun
quote:
I will never understand people who choose to have children before they are financially stable.
but who/what defines financial stability?
One of my old employers told me "you will never be financially ready for a child. So you jut go ahead and have them." I suppose this is why some have kids when they seemingly are not ready to.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:44 am to tigerinthebueche
quote:if i have to explain this to you,you aren't ready.
but who/what defines financial stability?
It's not some vague notion,it's reality.
If you cannot afford to live,pay bills,drive a car,pay a mortgage, go out to eat every once in a while,have your fridge stocked at all times,go on vacation every once in a while.
you are not ready to have kids.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:48 am to tigerinthebueche
quote:
but who/what defines financial stability? One of my old employers told me "you will never be financially ready for a child. So you jut go ahead and have them." I suppose this is why some have kids when they seemingly are not ready to.
IMO when both people in the marriage have steady careers (or one person if that said person makes a good wage and the other will stay home.) I'm not saying that you have to make a combined 100k or any hard number like that, but you should be able to financially take care of the child without having to rely on others (gov't, family, etc...).
For my wife and I, we have decided that she needs to finish professional school (3 years left) and we need to purchase a home in the city that we decide that we're going to live in (for a while at least), before we start "trying" to have children.
ETA: I know people who are in school and using student loans to pay for it, but have decided to have a kid. That shite just doesn't make sense to me.
This post was edited on 8/4/14 at 8:52 am
Posted on 8/4/14 at 8:57 am to Epic Cajun
quote:those people are fricking leaches. I hate them all.
ETA: I know people who are in school and using student loans to pay for it, but have decided to have a kid. That shite just doesn't make sense to me.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:02 am to TH03
quote:
two people fall in love, get married, and spend the rest of their lives together. they go on the trips they want to go on instead of just talking about them and saying "when the kids are out of college, we'll go." they go on fancy dates every weekend because they don't have to find a babysitter or go to the little one's dance recital. they buy that boat they always talked about and take it out every few weeks.
this is correct. this is what they do. because we have created a culture of self absorbed selfish pricks who value money and comfort over family. America is a unique society in that regard. it will ultimately be our countries downfall. all of the Muslim families living in the US now are having 5-7 children on average, while others are having 2.2. on average. think about what this country will look like in 40 years.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:12 am to Tiger Ryno
we dont have kids, probably wont either. the window where its even an option is getting pretty small. im not down with high-risk pregnancies. all of our friends are popping them out as fast as they can. its all good, no regrets
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:12 am to Tiger Ryno
I'm married and not having kids.
As far as our future goes, there are 2 options.
#1: he is gone at least 6 months of the year. Some people can handle being a single parent, but I am pretty certain I'm not one of them.
#2: I travel with him (and work slave labor in the barn 7 days a week with no vacations or sick days). This could mean moving every 4-6 months depending on what circuit we are on and living like gypsies.
Neither of those options really works for raising a family.
As far as our future goes, there are 2 options.
#1: he is gone at least 6 months of the year. Some people can handle being a single parent, but I am pretty certain I'm not one of them.
#2: I travel with him (and work slave labor in the barn 7 days a week with no vacations or sick days). This could mean moving every 4-6 months depending on what circuit we are on and living like gypsies.
Neither of those options really works for raising a family.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:18 am to Odinson
Maybe, but probably not.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:21 am to meauxjeaux2
quote:.
if i have to explain this to you,you aren't ready
Nice logical fallacy MJ, but you still didn't answer the question. Financial stability seems a very subjective term. How much should one have saved up to be "stable". How much debt is too much? Is there an accepted criteria or means test that determines "stability"?
quote:
It's not some vague notion,it's reality.
well then define it!!
quote:
If you cannot afford to live,pay bills,drive a car,pay a mortgage, go out to eat every once in a while,have your fridge stocked at all times,go on vacation every once in a while.
well even if you can do this today, can you do it next year? what if you become unemployed? How about if a major illness creeps in? everything you say here is contingent upon having gainful employment and optimum circumstances. what happens if you have kids and everything turns to shite financially? You can't give the kid(s) back. So maybe financial stability isn't the best measuring stick to determine when its the "right time" to have a kid.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:23 am to Epic Cajun
quote:
For my wife and I, we have decided that she needs to finish professional school (3 years left) and we need to purchase a home in the city that we decide that we're going to live in (for a while at least), before we start "trying" to have children.
Epic, what happens if your financial situation dictates that you cannot complete the purchase of the home you deem necessary to pursue a family? what happens if your schedule is delayed?
Do you really think you can tell your wife to wait if she is ready for kids- and her clock is ticking?
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:29 am to Odinson
Most people IMO always experience some kind of regret over things. I regret not trying to be jet pilot. And yes I'd be surprised if every once in a while they didn't have some regret, but probably not strong or long term.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:29 am to tigerinthebueche
quote:i already did.
well then define it!!
quote:
If you cannot afford to live,pay bills,drive a car,pay a mortgage, go out to eat every once in a while,have your fridge stocked at all times,go on vacation every once in a while.
quote:
can you do it next year? what if you become unemployed? How about if a major illness creeps in?
isn't this thread about judging people who "decide" to have kids?
What do your scenarios have to do with any of what we're talking about?
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:34 am to Mike da Tigah
Obv the premise here is that we are talking about parents/people that aren't pieces of shite.
Of course no one wants kids to be in bad household... I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about responsible people who are married living their life.
You're missing out going at it alone just the two of you.
JMO, I've been on both sides.
Of course no one wants kids to be in bad household... I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about responsible people who are married living their life.
You're missing out going at it alone just the two of you.
JMO, I've been on both sides.
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:36 am to tigerinthebueche
quote:
Epic, what happens if your financial situation dictates that you cannot complete the purchase of the home you deem necessary to pursue a family? what happens if your schedule is delayed? Do you really think you can tell your wife to wait if she is ready for kids- and her clock is ticking?
Well, she's a few years younger than me. If we can't get our shite together by the time she's in her mid-thirties (~10 years away) then maybe we need to re-evaluate things. If something happens and we can't purchase a home, but are still stable (can pay all bills and save a considerable amount per month), then we'll probably go ahead and have a kid. If something happens and we aren't financially stable (loss of job, can't afford bills, can't save money) then we most certainly put it off until we are more stable.
We can't predict what will occur after the baby, but we can control the situation that we are in before it arrives, and I'd like that situation to be as stable as possible.
This post was edited on 8/4/14 at 9:38 am
Posted on 8/4/14 at 9:50 am to meauxjeaux2
quote:
What do your scenarios have to do with any of what we're talking about?
Playing devil's advocate. Just find the financial stability argument weak. I don't have any kids, but finances never were a consideration. I just never wanted kids and was lucky to marry a woman that felt the same way.
Page 10 of 18
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News