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Posted on 11/22/22 at 9:43 am to Elleshoe
quote:
the punchline was too long
/:golf clap
Posted on 11/22/22 at 10:26 am to Bamafig
I just read that the Saudi Arabia/Argentina match got pretty Messi.
Posted on 11/22/22 at 10:42 am to Bamafig
Guy walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm. He tells the bartender, "Beer for me and one for the road."
Posted on 11/22/22 at 10:46 am to CrimsonJazz
I'm bookmarking this Amazing thread. 
Sending my kids 2-3 of these a day in our group text.
Sending my kids 2-3 of these a day in our group text.
Posted on 11/22/22 at 10:57 am to SouthEndzoneTiger
Hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body?
He is all right now!
He is all right now!
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:00 am to Gilly
Why didn't Han Solo enjoy his steak?
Because it was Chewy.
Because it was Chewy.
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:03 am to Bamafig
The fattest knight at King Arthur's Round Table was Sir Cumference. He got that way by eating so much Pi.
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:04 am to Cdawg
Why did the semen cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:06 am to mikelbr
What do Turkeys eat at thanksgiving.
Nothing, they’re stuffed.
Nothing, they’re stuffed.
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:08 am to Cdawg
quote:
Why didn't Han Solo enjoy his steak?
Because it was Chewy.
Did you hear the Mandalorian got a car company to sponsor them.
That’s why you see so many Toy Yodas
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:10 am to Run up middle
What do you call a cow that just had a calf? Decaffeinated.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideaR
I had to carry my dog to the vet because he ate the Christmas lights on my tree. He was delighted.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideaR
I had to carry my dog to the vet because he ate the Christmas lights on my tree. He was delighted.
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:14 am to TimeOutdoors
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, why the long face”?
A giraffe walks into the same bar and says, “Hey everybody, hi balls on me”!
A giraffe walks into the same bar and says, “Hey everybody, hi balls on me”!
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:15 am to TimeOutdoors
At Mickey and Minney's divorce trial:
Judge: "Mickey I can't let you divorce Minnie because you think she is silly"
Mickey: (In Mickey's voice) "I didn't say she was silly, I said shes Fr&%ing Goofy!"
Judge: "Mickey I can't let you divorce Minnie because you think she is silly"
Mickey: (In Mickey's voice) "I didn't say she was silly, I said shes Fr&%ing Goofy!"
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:17 am to Bamafig
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar
When it’s ajar
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:24 am to Warheel
You heard about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
He got a little behind in his work.
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:28 am to yccsmf
What kind of insect can jump higher than a house?
All of 'em - Houses can't jump!
---------------------
What kind of bees give milk?
Boobies!
All of 'em - Houses can't jump!
---------------------
What kind of bees give milk?
Boobies!
Posted on 11/22/22 at 11:28 am to yccsmf
Liberace was fantastic on the piano.
But he sucked on the organ.
But he sucked on the organ.
Posted on 11/22/22 at 12:03 pm to TimeOutdoors
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no ideer.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
What do you call a cow with 1 leg? Steak (stake).
What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Tri tip
Why did the old man fall down that well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey.
What do you call a camel with three humps? Pregnant
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why would you never find an elephant hiding in a tree? Because they’re very good at hiding.
What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Hell if I know!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Nobody
Nobody who?
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
What do you call a cow with 1 leg? Steak (stake).
What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Tri tip
Why did the old man fall down that well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey.
What do you call a camel with three humps? Pregnant
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why would you never find an elephant hiding in a tree? Because they’re very good at hiding.
What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Hell if I know!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Nobody
Nobody who?
Posted on 11/22/22 at 12:54 pm to Bamafig
Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden steering wheel and the wooden tires and the wooden engine?
It wooden go.
It wooden go.
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