re: Check-in if Christmas has become too stressful

I was with you until the cruise part.

Checking in.

Hopefully the last Christmas with a truly psycho girl.

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Hopefully the last Christmas with a truly psycho girl.

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Like your partner, or someone in the family? Tell us more.

This is sadly the first year I didn’t enjoy Christmas, and I’m one of those people who look forward to it for eons.

With two kids, the weight falls on me to think out and get all their gifts, plan travel/schedules, find out what my family wants (and purchase), find out what SO family wants and purchase for them. Decorating, all the wrapping, cooking, prep, all on me. Then 3-4 days straight with SO family, who have to have everything absolutely perfect—including pictures with screaming kids and forcing perfect insta photos—and operate on rigid timelines... it was miserable this year and I ended up getting sick on Christmas Eve, couldn’t even get out of bed yesterday.

I’m still pissed off about it all. I used to love Christmas but...the expectations from in laws, and everything being so damn rigid. Like we can’t just have fun, let life be what it is—every moment, event, photo op, meal—it’s all planned. They get upset with me when I joke and say “c’est la vie” when things go wrong. Or when I don’t scream at my kids for being kids while trying to take the 800th staged photo that even I don’t want any part of.

Yes, Christmas isn’t fun anymore and I want to figure out how to change it next year. I can’t do this again.

ETA: I didn’t even include the stress of the 5 field trips/Christmas performances, parties, buying for kids teachers, pictures with Santa, making the candy, trying to actually do fun things at night like driving to see lights, making sure kids had everything they needed for their seemingly daily Christmas activities, Christmas Eve mass, remembering to move the damn elf. Though I love doing for the kids the most. I can’t stand buying for a million adults outside of parents, to be honest.

Have you told your husband this? He's married to you, not his family. Is he a man or a mouse?

Yesterday was emotionally stressful for me.

All day knowing it could very well possibly be the last Christmas I spend with my husband. And not being able to show that to anyone. Having to pretend everything is just fine in front of both our families.

Realizing as I’m with my parents that my dad will never be the dad I want him to be and I’ll never have a Christmas with that man again. That man is forever gone and in his place is a miserable, mentally ill man that may get a little better but will never ever be whole again.

Knowing that if the IVF I did over the summer would have worked....I would be 5 months pregnant and wearing cute Christmassy maternity clothes.

I’m so glad Christmas is over. I’m just glad I survived it without sobbing in public.

Tell me about it. Venting........ ????????????????????????????????????????......so I just went to WalMart (which I did not want to do) to pick up a few things I needed for Christmas. I was waiting in the self-check out lane & I dropped a $20 dollar bill. The woman in front of me picked it up. I thanked her & told her that it was mine & she said "things found on the earth are kept by the collector" & then walks away!!! Really, are you bloody kidding me????? I looked at the person standing in line , who looked just as shocked as me, so I looked back towards this sorry excuse of humanity & as I approached her I said " Excuse me but do I look like an ATM? Please give me my $20 dollars!!!" She had the nerve to ignore me & TRIED to walk away from my wrath of justice I was about to serve. SOOOOOOO of course I left my basket & followed her into the parking lot as I was calling the police. She was clearly walking at a fast pace to get away from me which was the first sign of real intelligence she had shown! When she got to her car she put her bags down on the ground to open her trunk.

I was boiling at this point! I decided her "finders keepers" rule presented a perfect opportunity for one heck of a teachable moment.... SO...... I just grabbed her grocery bags & said "things found on earth are kept by the collector!" and walked over to my car & ignored her every attempt about the exchange. I was just waiting for her to take things to another level & wondering if her car was up for grabs considering it was sitting there on the earth. I was so mad, but I had a sense of satisfaction all at the same time. I can say as an adult I've never stolen anything, but I get home & open the bags & what did I find???

3 packs of rib eye steaks
3 pounds of country ribs
2 pounds of potatoes
2 heads of lettuce
2 onions
And
A bottle of wine
Just a thought......WOW Not bad for $20
In all seriousness Merry Christmas !!
This is a joke just to see who reads the whole darn thing!
If you did.... just copy & paste to your page or NOT. I bet I just put a smile on your face! Have a great day!!! LOL
Things found on earth are kept by the collector!!
Gotcha hahahahahah!!!!! (I hope you don’t have to go to WalMart)!

Christmas was great as usual.

I don’t understand getting stressed out over it. I typically find people who stress out about it choose to engage in things that make them stressful.

I’m lucky to have good family on both sides. We have good food and nice gifts but everybody basically realizes that neither of those are important in the grand scheme.
Honestly, we could order pizza, stock a fridge full of beer, and not exchange gifts at all, and it would be just as a good.

Just keep telling yourself it's once a year and how much you'd be willing to put up with if you could spent one more with a dearly departed loved one. My mom was losing her mind yesterday because she had left my son's gift at home and he said " no worries shite happens" everyone laughed and the rest of the day was excellent

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the weight falls on me to think out and get all their gifts, plan travel/schedules, find out what my family wants (and purchase), find out what SO family wants and purchase for them. Decorating, all the wrapping, cooking, prep, all on me.

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Picc :(

It isn’t my business but that is called Emotional Labor and it should not fall solely on you because you’re a woman.

It’s OK to do some of these on your own because you are better at them than your partner (give and take), but surely he can handle at least some of them for you.