re: Biggest hint from a female you missed, only to catch too late

Tell her you're married and ask her not to tell your wife if y'all hookup

It's a FB message. Not a text.

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No one finds it odd this dude Displaced just pulled out a text from 2007?

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Like I said, it's not a text.

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TheFonz

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Ditto

I worked at a marina on one of the lakes here in Georgia while I was in college. This area had many well to do people and the marina I worked at was in a partnership with a Ritz Carlton hotel. We would rent out pontoon boats for people staying at the hotel to take out for the day. This one well maintained Milf shows up with two kids and is renting a pontoon boat, but wants one of us to captain the boat. I drew the short straw and had to watch a hot arse milf tanning in a bikini all day. It was a 4 hour rental and after about an hour she and the kids are ready to head back to the Marina. We get back and she give me a $100 dollar tip. As she was leaving she told me her room number at the Ritz and said her husband was going to be playing golf and to stop by when I got off work. I didn't miss the signal, but was dating my gf who is now my wife at the time, not a day goes by I don't kick myself for not taking her up on her offer.

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We have a moral obligation to teach our sons to always swing for the fences because a NO from an OT10 is the same as a NO from an OT6.

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I have a college friend that would hit on freaking everything. Dude was big into MMA and had those wrestling ears, not a good looking guy at all. But he had no shame at all. Only thing that kept him from getting into more fights for hitting on hot chicks with boyfriends was the fact that he had multiple black belts and knew how to back away because it happened so many times. But damn, that guy would walk into every bar and hit on the hottest chick there within minutes, then the next 50 chicks until one said yes.

He struck out worse than anyone I know, but damn it worked enough. If I had half the balls as him I'd of probably been laid 10x more.

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She asked me why I never made a move? I was like, are you fricking kidding me?

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Louis C.K. knows your struggle.

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I remember one night, I was with a girl, I was like 20 years old I was already doing stand up and I did a show in Washington D.C and after the show one of the waitresses came back to the hotel she was really cute.

And we're making out in my hotel and she's into it, she's like humping me, so I start putting my hand up her shirt and she stops me. So I'm like, "hm, okay."

So then we're making out more so I start putting my hand on her arse and she stops me, so after a while she went home and nothing happened.

And then the next night I saw her in the club and she goes, "Hey what happened last night?"

I was like, "What?" and she's like, "How come we didn't have sex?" I was like, "'cause you didn't want to."

She's like, "Yes I did, I was really into it." I say, "Well why did you keep stopping me?" and she goes, "'cause I wanted you to just go for it."

I was like, "What does that mean?" She says, "I'm kinda weird, I get turned on when a guy just gets frustrated and just holds me down and fricks me, like that's a big turn on for me."

I was like, "Well you should have told me! I would have happily done that for you." and she goes, "No, it has to feel real and dangerous."

I'm like, "What are you out of your fricking mind? You think I'm just gonna rape you on the off chance that hopefully you're into that shite?"

"What kind of idiot... I'm getting kinda a rape-y vibe from this girl, I don't know, I suspect she might enjoy being raped, maybe that's her thing. I don't wanna ask first and ruin it so I'm just gonna take a shot and rape her, what the hell, what's the worst that could happen after all?"

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as do I

uptowners of a certain age will remember shanahans on Claiborne and Calhoun in the late 80's. I was a tragically late bloomer and until I started bartending there in college was not used to getting much female attention

these two used to sit in front of my station a couple nites a week, one was gorgeous and one was not...they'd spend most of the nite blantantly hitting on me but for some reason they amused me more than anything...they were like jekll and Hyde. I enjoyed having them there and it was good talk to girls practice. my last nite there they basically demanded I go home with them and like a dumbass I stayed and got hammered with everyone else

stupid, stupid, stupid

one more

I was a catering manager at the royal Orleans and we had a corporate client meeting there, there annual retreat or something. Very well known Mexican fast food place in Texas. So the CEO or president or something is my contact and the first nite I meet him for drinks in the bar, with his wife who looked like peak Tara Reid and just as trashy.

we exchange pleasantries and have a couple, he goes to the bathroom and she jams a hotel key in my pocket and says she's staying in tonite while the execs go out drinking...

I pussed out and she ignored me the rest of the week

A girl talked to me once. Totally missed out on that