re: Awkward moments in real life

Asked gal when she's due. She had baby a few weeks prior.

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have a habit of asking people how they're doing every time I see them. A close friend of mine died and that was the first thing to come out of my mouth when I saw his widow the morning of the funeral.

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Same here, last visiststion I went to I went by the wife of a young man who died and asked her how she’s been. It’s so stupid how some of us completely shut our brains down in those moments

Another one that happened a few months ago.

I had just finished telling my wife and kids good bye and I love them as they were going to the store. UPS driver pulls up and delivers a package right after they left. I took it from him and said "I love you"

We kinda laughed it off and I told him the exact thing above to why I said it, so that he wouldn't think I was some freak. Not sure if he believed me.

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Asked gal when she's due. She had baby a few weeks prio

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I ask one the same question when wasn't even pregnant.

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I’ll never talk to, say, the Visa customer service rep again.

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When my wife (no pics) is on the phone with people like that I have a horrible habit of making orgasm sounds really loud in the background or trying to tickle her. The other day she was getting into it with cell phone company after an hour hold time. I walked by as she was talking and let out a loud arse fart right by the phone. She froze up mid sentence and went silent for about 5 seconds. She started laughing so hard she had to hang up

Eta: This reminds me, about 7-8 years ago wife was on phone with her mom. I was saying blow job over and over to where my wife could hear but MIL couldn’t. Just so happens wife is trying to tell her, friend got a new job, but instead said friend got a blow job, I’ve never seen such a look of horror on my wife’s face when she realized what she said, I was literally crying laughing. I’ve never let her live that down.

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I can't count how many times I've responded to somebody who's talking on their bluetooth. And for some reason I always sulk away like I just lost a popularity contest

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I do this weekly. I despise people talking on Bluetooth in stores.

I also went up to the CVS pharamacy counter the other day asking about my phone. I HAD to have left for my phone there. I went no where else and I explained that repeatedly. The phone was in my hand.

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I once attended a graduation party at the family home of a student worker. Parked, walked into the house, didn’t recognize anyone, said hello, got something to eat and drink, sat down, and realized that everyone else in the house that I was in was not the same ethnicity that I am.

The house I was supposed to be at was four doors down.

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Damn

I did this once. Went to a party a friend of a friend was having. Dude lived in my building in EADO but I had never met him. Knocked on the neighbors door and they had a party. They just invited me in. After about an hour of mingling I asked Jeff(guy throwing party) where Chris (not oweo) was? He said who? Then immediately clicked in his face. My neighbors name is Jeff. So I went over to the party I was supposed to be at. Later I went back other party(hotter women) and am still friends with 2 people I met there.

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I average about five of these experiences a day

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Yeah, social awkwardness is a bitch.

A few weeks ago, the wife and I were at the grocery store. While we were checking out we were chatting with the cashier. After the cashier went through their standard “have a good day” spiel, I blurted out, “thanks, love you too.” Wife stopped in her tracks, staring at me, and the cashier just died laughing.

That wasn’t the first time I’ve said that to someone like that since I’ve been married.

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I say good morning all the time no matter what time of day it is

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I thought I was the only one