re: Ask the OT - how would you handle this - wedding drama

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The ones I have would get me banned

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You should use this opportunity to pack up all of her shite while she’s in California and leave it on the stoop of ya'll's Doublewide.

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I told her that if she wanted a family vacation that she and her daughters should stay and have their fun.

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give her me Emil plz k tnx

LSU31ALWAYS@gmail.com

Three sum in califoria

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GF has two kids from a previous relationship

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Baby daddy is a degenerate drug dealer

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eldest child - she ran away last year and that resulted in a long and expensive custody battle with lots of drama. This kid is a mean little shite and has a mouth that makes you want to wash it out with soap

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You must love this woman to tolerate all of these red flags. If that's the case, buck up, go to Cali and do whatever she wants.

Otherwise, frick this shite. You aren't married to this woman. You aren't poor and ugly. Get out now and find someone better.

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I really don't want my gf looking at me like I'm supposed to be buying meals and entrance fees to Disney and Universal and shite like that - that doesn't sound like a fun time to me at all and I'm pretty sure it would just piss me the frick off.

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Then you shouldn’t be dating someone with kids (especially this chick). When you’re with someone with kids who are under the age of 18 and living at home, these things are going to happen once you’ve been dating awhile. That’s part of it.

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That’s understandable. I was referring to single parents (like OP’s GF) who raise kids with intolerable behavior, who do horrible shite that you can’t come back from maybe, who expect whoever they are dating to love their kids unconditionally. The thing is, humans don’t typically have unconditional love for people they are unrelated to. To expect OP to step in and be Daddy is unrealistic, especially if the kids are older and the real baby daddy is still living and possibly fking shite up. Just like it would be unrealistic for a person to expect their kids to accept whatever person they are banging as a new parent. The kids should be made to be respectful but you can’t make them love someone they just met. Single parents in my experience tend to be delusional in this area.

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I haven't dealt with this but to me the problem was never the idea of learning to love/care for someone else's kids, but the modern single mom idea that her kids should be viewed as a prize and not as baggage. You hear these women say that her kids should make her more attractive, etc. - it's just a ridiculous standard and beneath it is the idea that men shouldn't have reservations about how she got to that point.

I know that's harsh, but those kids are baggage on the front end. If they're good kids and the guy is a good dude, it won't be that way for very long at all, but they still bring more people who you have no initial obligation to into the fold, and are usually accompanied by some other guy's involvement, as well as the natural questions around the role the woman played in ending the marriage and/or having kids outside of marriage in the first place.

Y’all are break g up north matter which way you decide, so might as well hold firm and not go and save some money. She’ll leave you when she gets back. She may even leave you before the wedding and you don’t have to go to it. That’s best case scenario.

In theory, you should want to spend time with your gf and her kids and also should not feel like you're just a walking wallet.

If you don't feel that way, maybe this isn't the relationship for you. Also, I know this is a anonymous message board, but probably don't call your possible step daughter a little shite.