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Message
Anyone got any good jokes?
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:35 am
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:35 am
I don't. Was talking with someone the other day about how you never hear people telling word-of-mouth jokes anymore. Just memes, gifs, etc..
Brighten everyone's morning if you know any good ones.
Brighten everyone's morning if you know any good ones.
38
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:36 am to Minden tiger
your face
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:37 am to Minden tiger
Not mine
A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
“It hasn't affected my brothers though."
A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
“It hasn't affected my brothers though."
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:39 am to Minden tiger
quote:because one might use the wrong pronoun and triggers someone who goes to HR. F that. Not worth it.
Was talking with someone the other day about how you never hear people telling word-of-mouth jokes anymore
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:39 am to Minden tiger
what did the elephant say to the naked man?
“how do you breathe thru that tiny thing man?”
“how do you breathe thru that tiny thing man?”
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:46 am to S
A termite walks into a bar and says "Hey, where's the bar tender?"
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:47 am to Minden tiger
I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Fell off a 20 foot ladder today. Luckily it was just the first rung.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Fell off a 20 foot ladder today. Luckily it was just the first rung.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:52 am to Minden tiger
Two nuns at a convent commit a sin. So they go to the Mother Superior and she tells the two nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
So they go to the room and are trying to figure out how to paint a whole room without getting paint anywhere.
So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then they here a knock again.
"It's the Blind Man."
Then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in.
The blind man walks in,
Takes a look around and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
So they go to the room and are trying to figure out how to paint a whole room without getting paint anywhere.
So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then they here a knock again.
"It's the Blind Man."
Then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in.
The blind man walks in,
Takes a look around and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:56 am to Minden tiger
A sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says sorry we don’t serve food here.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 8:56 am to Minden tiger
Lester Earl walks into a straight bar
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:14 am to Minden tiger
I've got a great joke about a polar bear.
I use it to break the ice.
I use it to break the ice.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:19 am to Minden tiger
Do you know how a Livingston Parish mom knows her daughter has started her period?
Her son’s dick tastes funny.
Her son’s dick tastes funny.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:21 am to Minden tiger
"Dad, can you tell me what happens during a solar eclipse?"
"No Son..."
"No Son..."
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:23 am to Minden tiger
What music do people in electric cars listen to?
AC/DC
AC/DC
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:30 am to KAHog
What did the termites say when the house burnt down?
Oh boy, we're going to have BBQ tonight.
What did the termites say when the church burnt down?
Holy smokes.
Oh boy, we're going to have BBQ tonight.
What did the termites say when the church burnt down?
Holy smokes.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:34 am to Minden tiger
my sex life
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:37 am to Minden tiger
what do you call a cow with 3 legs?
lean beef.
what do you call a cow with no legs?
ground beef.
what do you call a cow with 2 legs?
your mom.
lean beef.
what do you call a cow with no legs?
ground beef.
what do you call a cow with 2 legs?
your mom.
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:38 am to Minden tiger
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None
None
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:42 am to ThatTahoeOverThere
Why can't you hear rabbits having sex?
cotton balls
cotton balls
Posted on 1/12/24 at 9:43 am to Minden tiger
Two French nuns were riding bicycles back to the convent after mass and decided to take a different route.
One nun said to the other “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other nun says “It’s the cobblestones.”
One nun said to the other “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other nun says “It’s the cobblestones.”
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