re: Anyone ever reeeeeally stretched on a home purchase?

quote:

---

but it would be absolutely slamming the top of our monthly budget, way more than I’d ever expected to pay. It also would assume that we do make more in the future as we know our expenses will go up once kids come along.

---

You already know this is a bad option. You’ll be house poor.

quote:

---

(Spending precious time stressed out…and all the knock on effects, eg marriage stress, less optionality in life, commandeers your priorities and focus, making financial trade offs you otherwise would not have, etc)

---

I don't disagree with this at all, but I don't think those are exclusive to those who are stretching to get into the "better" neighborhood.

I think for some, that could easily be the person who chose to spend their money on the less desirable neighborhood and are seeing the spot they really want to be (for whatever reason) slipping further and further away despite making the "smart" choice. You can focus on and prioritize other things when you are secure that you're in your forever home, or at least your forever neighborhood. The guy in the A tier neighborhood is focused on and prioritizes certain other things, whereas the person in the B or C tier neighborhood is prioritizing and focusing on getting in position to move to the A tier neighborhood.

I also think you will likely have more optionality in life the more valuable assets you have. If the worst happens, you might have a much harder time getting out of a B or C tier neighborhood than an A tier neighborhood that is "always" in high demand.

my advice on a new family buying a house.....


Only buy a house that you can afford on your income alone, not counting your wife's income. once kids come into play, you dont want to make decisions on having the wife work and have other people raise your kids (IE daycare) based on needing both incomes.

make tht decision on what is best for your family.......

quote:

---

Happy life/marriage = having disposable income to travel and do things and not always be stressed over finances.

A simpler life is a more enjoyable life.

---

Can't be better said than this.
My wife have never stressed over $, not because we had a lot of it but because we bought a reasonable house, vehicles and had no kids.
I really think it's why we've been married almost 40 years.
I can't imagine the stresses of money problems on top of normal life.

If it’s just you and the Mrs. I wouldn’t buy a home you don’t need now especially if you have to stretch your wallet to pay the bills. That doesn’t make any sense.

quote:

---

Anyone ever gotten real aggressive like this?

---

Not in this market.

Snag something you guys will enjoy at the best price you can negotiate, and in 7-10yrs if you don't make bank, you can always still remember fondly.

quote:

---

My wife and I are looking at homes, and we have what I would say is a reasonable budget that should allow us to either get a small, somewhat dated but still nice home in an A location or a newish, bigger home in a B location.

In each scenario, we should be able to get a nice option, but either will likely be a 7-10 year home. We don’t have kids yet but plan to, and the small home in the A location will likely get too small once we do, while the big home in the B location doesn’t feed into the middle and high school districts that my wife wants. So in each scenario we’d need to move.

I had accepted that and always assumed it would be the plan, but we just found a home that is full family sized in an absolute A+ neighborhood. It is something that we could afford right now, so we’re not being entirely reckless, but it would be absolutely slamming the top of our monthly budget, way more than I’d ever expected to pay. It also would assume that we do make more in the future as we know our expenses will go up once kids come along.

Anyone ever gotten real aggressive like this? I don’t love the idea of the stress. Right now and with our finances on the previous home options we’d looked at, we’re very comfortable and don’t really feel that strained. This would be the exact opposite of that. We’d need to be laser focused on each month’s budget.

Part of me hates that idea, but another part of me actually thinks that level of discipline will actually be good for us longterm as right now there’s a pretty sizeable gap between what we bring in and what we spend so we do have alot of the fvck-its on dumb spending. I also love the idea of basically not having to move for decades. I know you can never know with life, but both of us own our own companies and they’re local companies so I don’t imagine we’ll ever have a work reason to move. There wouldn’t be a space reason to move here, and I look back now at some of the families I grew up around who are in the same house now that they were in when I was a kid (30 years ago), and I think to myself damn that type of stability would be incredible.

Anyone gone through this type of analysis with their SO, and anyone actually took the plunge on this type of a stretch?

---

What?

If you buy the house, it sounds like you’re either headed for bankruptcy or divorce. Or both.

I wouldn't say "reeeeeally" stretched, but when I got divorced I opted to keep the house and buying her out and refinancing put my monthly payments at the very top of what I was comfortable with.

I tightened up elsewhere and made it work.. required budgeting and discipline, but my son got to stay in the only house he had known to that point and stay in a neighborhood with a lot of friends zoned to great schools.

It's worked out well for me, but don't "reeeeeally" stretch it if you don't have to.