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Message
Anyone ever reeeeeally stretched on a home purchase?
Posted on 7/14/26 at 8:49 am
Posted on 7/14/26 at 8:49 am
My wife and I are looking at homes, and we have what I would say is a reasonable budget that should allow us to either get a small, somewhat dated but still nice home in an A location or a newish, bigger home in a B location.
In each scenario, we should be able to get a nice option, but either will likely be a 7-10 year home. We don’t have kids yet but plan to, and the small home in the A location will likely get too small once we do, while the big home in the B location doesn’t feed into the middle and high school districts that my wife wants. So in each scenario we’d need to move.
I had accepted that and always assumed it would be the plan, but we just found a home that is full family sized in an absolute A+ neighborhood. It is something that we could afford right now, so we’re not being entirely reckless, but it would be absolutely slamming the top of our monthly budget, way more than I’d ever expected to pay. It also would assume that we do make more in the future as we know our expenses will go up once kids come along.
Anyone ever gotten real aggressive like this? I don’t love the idea of the stress. Right now and with our finances on the previous home options we’d looked at, we’re very comfortable and don’t really feel that strained. This would be the exact opposite of that. We’d need to be laser focused on each month’s budget.
Part of me hates that idea, but another part of me actually thinks that level of discipline will actually be good for us longterm as right now there’s a pretty sizeable gap between what we bring in and what we spend so we do have alot of the fvck-its on dumb spending. I also love the idea of basically not having to move for decades. I know you can never know with life, but both of us own our own companies and they’re local companies so I don’t imagine we’ll ever have a work reason to move. There wouldn’t be a space reason to move here, and I look back now at some of the families I grew up around who are in the same house now that they were in when I was a kid (30 years ago), and I think to myself damn that type of stability would be incredible.
Anyone gone through this type of analysis with their SO, and anyone actually took the plunge on this type of a stretch?
In each scenario, we should be able to get a nice option, but either will likely be a 7-10 year home. We don’t have kids yet but plan to, and the small home in the A location will likely get too small once we do, while the big home in the B location doesn’t feed into the middle and high school districts that my wife wants. So in each scenario we’d need to move.
I had accepted that and always assumed it would be the plan, but we just found a home that is full family sized in an absolute A+ neighborhood. It is something that we could afford right now, so we’re not being entirely reckless, but it would be absolutely slamming the top of our monthly budget, way more than I’d ever expected to pay. It also would assume that we do make more in the future as we know our expenses will go up once kids come along.
Anyone ever gotten real aggressive like this? I don’t love the idea of the stress. Right now and with our finances on the previous home options we’d looked at, we’re very comfortable and don’t really feel that strained. This would be the exact opposite of that. We’d need to be laser focused on each month’s budget.
Part of me hates that idea, but another part of me actually thinks that level of discipline will actually be good for us longterm as right now there’s a pretty sizeable gap between what we bring in and what we spend so we do have alot of the fvck-its on dumb spending. I also love the idea of basically not having to move for decades. I know you can never know with life, but both of us own our own companies and they’re local companies so I don’t imagine we’ll ever have a work reason to move. There wouldn’t be a space reason to move here, and I look back now at some of the families I grew up around who are in the same house now that they were in when I was a kid (30 years ago), and I think to myself damn that type of stability would be incredible.
Anyone gone through this type of analysis with their SO, and anyone actually took the plunge on this type of a stretch?
67
Posted on 7/14/26 at 8:52 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
quote:
but it would be absolutely slamming the top of our monthly budget, way more than I’d ever expected to pay.
As someone who has managed foreclosures for banks since the 2008 crash, I will say that this NEVER turns out bad. It always works out despite rising property taxes, expenses, and insurance rates.
Go for it!
Posted on 7/14/26 at 8:52 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
I wouldn't "reeeeeeeally" stretch your budget on a home you're only planning on keeping for 7-10 years because in my opinion, that's not enough time for me to feel 100% comfortable it will appreciate enough in value to at least break even when selling.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 8:53 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
Being house poor sucks no other way around it.
But if you have ambition and plan on growing your career and income, it’s nice having the bigger/nicer house when it fits your budget better and prevents the 2nd move or upgrade down line.
Really all about your risk tolerance.
But if you have ambition and plan on growing your career and income, it’s nice having the bigger/nicer house when it fits your budget better and prevents the 2nd move or upgrade down line.
Really all about your risk tolerance.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 8:57 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
quote:
Part of me hates that idea, but another part of me actually thinks that level of discipline will actually be good for us longterm as right now there’s a pretty sizeable gap between what we bring in and what we spend so we do have alot of the fvck-its on dumb spending.
Why don't you stay where you are for a couple of years and just do this so that you can save up a nice chunk of change to be able to afford your A+ location? I don't like the idea of buying a home that doesn't check most of my boxes and that I know I'd move out of the first chance an A+ opportunity opens up that I can afford.
They say patience is a virtue for a reason.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 8:58 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
Bank covered 250000 on the loan and I got a 248k house against advisement from close fam lol we've made it work for years now and even paid some extra towards principle. We save every which way we can. Entertainment is free for the kids like the river, beach, park, and we dont eat out as some examples.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:01 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
Dont do it
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:01 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
Put real numbers down. What are the figures we are talking about? Gross income, income streams, take home, home costs, other fixed costs, discretionary spend, etc. This is a math exercise to start and then an emotional one if you get past the first hurdle.
You also have choices…maybe you are a homebody that doesn’t like to travel or go to sporting events or hunt or fish…so your home is an okay larger investment because it’s where you entertain yourself. Those are the qualitative factors once you have the budget specific laid out.
You also have choices…maybe you are a homebody that doesn’t like to travel or go to sporting events or hunt or fish…so your home is an okay larger investment because it’s where you entertain yourself. Those are the qualitative factors once you have the budget specific laid out.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:02 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
Yes.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:02 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
quote:
7-10 year home. We don’t have kids yet but plan to, and the small home in the A location will likely get too small once we do, while the big home in the B location doesn’t feed into the middle and high school districts that my wife wants
Why are you worried about middle school/HS if this is a 10 year home and you don't have any kids?
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:03 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
What do you and your wife do for work and how secure is it? Either of you lose your job and there could be trouble.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:03 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
no. The stress of living on thin monthly budget margins would never be worth it for me. I prioritize as much margin as possible.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:03 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
Depends on what you mean by stretch it. If it's just at the top of your we are comfortable budget then maybe.
Just remember this, shite happens and it happens often. You always need a buffer or that's how you end up with a big mortgage and a maxed out credit card.
Just remember this, shite happens and it happens often. You always need a buffer or that's how you end up with a big mortgage and a maxed out credit card.
This post was edited on 7/14/26 at 9:04 am
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:04 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
Happy life/marriage = having disposable income to travel and do things and not always be stressed over finances.
A simpler life is a more enjoyable life.
A simpler life is a more enjoyable life.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:12 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
quote:
I had accepted that and always assumed it would be the plan, but we just found a home that is full family sized in an absolute A+ neighborhood. It is something that we could afford right now, so we’re not being entirely reckless, but it would be absolutely slamming the top of our monthly budget, way more than I’d ever expected to pay. It also would assume that we do make more in the future as we know our expenses will go up once kids come along.
If you are secure in your job then go for this.
The conventional wisdom of buying small, then upgrading once you have kids can be really REALLY poor from a financial perspective. No one likes to take this into account, but buying/selling and moving costs money. A lot of money at times.
The A+ neighborhood will also more likely appreciate faster/weather downturns better. There's probably a good chance that if you pass on the A+ neighborhood now, you may never get back.
I was in an A+ neighborhood, moved for work, then just a couple years later moved back. Despite making more than double what we made when we originally bought in the A+ neighborhood, we were priced out once we moved back. We still got into a great neighborhood, but the "get in" price for the neighborhood we really wanted (and had previously owned) went astronomical and we just couldn't make the numbers really work unless we cut back on other things like investments, which we weren't willing to do.
Obviously if you have variable income, or are in a vulnerable/cyclical industry, it may not be wise to max out your housing budget, but if it's reasonably doable with your budget and income, I would 100% go for the A+ neighborhood.
As you mentioned in your post, if you have a path, it can be really amazing to be secure in your home for decades vs knowing that you will want to move as soon as the opportunity presents itself. The psychological effects of knowing you're where you want to be vs knowing deep down you want to move can be substantial.
You may very well be house poor for a few years, but if a refinance opportunity or two pops up and/or your income naturally increases over the years you'll be very very happy you bit the bullet now. Maybe your businesses go absolutely bonkers, but there's a real possibility that you'll be house poor anyway if you ever decide to move to the A+ neighborhood down the line. Personally, I'd rather be house poor younger, with younger kids vs house poor in my prime earning years with older kids in the home.
This post was edited on 7/14/26 at 9:26 am
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:14 am to PensaTigers
quote:
Bank covered 250000 on the loan and I got a 248k house against advisement from close fam lol we've made it work for years now and even paid some extra towards principle. We save every which way we can. Entertainment is free for the kids like the river, beach, park, and we dont eat out as some examples.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:14 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
If you are juggling the first 2 options, I say go with option A to make sure you are settled in the school district you want, and move when the timing is right. You take the option in the B location, you could get stuck there longer than you'd like and you may not be able to move to the new school district you'd want. Plus, you'd be uprooting the future kids and depending on how far away these 2 locations are, they would lose those early childhood friends.
Before you start trying to decide if you should reeeeeally stretch the budget for the bigger house in A location, how thoroughly have you analyzed your budget. Have you looked at your spending over the past 12+ months and determined what you are actually spending, and if there is any room to cut costs? Have you factored in changes in utilities, property taxes, insurance costs, emergencies with each of the 3 houses you're considering?
Before you start trying to decide if you should reeeeeally stretch the budget for the bigger house in A location, how thoroughly have you analyzed your budget. Have you looked at your spending over the past 12+ months and determined what you are actually spending, and if there is any room to cut costs? Have you factored in changes in utilities, property taxes, insurance costs, emergencies with each of the 3 houses you're considering?
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:18 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
Me and the wife are going through the same debate with building our “forever” home.
She wants to stretch the budget and I’m trying to be realistic.
Here’s my advice. Budgets are great and you have to have them, but they are sometimes theoretical and not practical. So in addition to a budget I say really focus on saving for 3-6 months before making a decision. During that time how much are you really saving without a ton of effort?
If it’s enough saved monthly to cover the extra mortgage, then go for it.
However if you have to jump through hoops that aren’t practical long term, use common sense.
She wants to stretch the budget and I’m trying to be realistic.
Here’s my advice. Budgets are great and you have to have them, but they are sometimes theoretical and not practical. So in addition to a budget I say really focus on saving for 3-6 months before making a decision. During that time how much are you really saving without a ton of effort?
If it’s enough saved monthly to cover the extra mortgage, then go for it.
However if you have to jump through hoops that aren’t practical long term, use common sense.
Posted on 7/14/26 at 9:19 am to NolaLovingClemsonFan
You need to define realllyyy. If it truly at the top of an already stretched budget, not a chance. Bigger house, bigger expenses on everything. Inflation is real and is outpacing most wage increases. Taxes are only increasing.
Now, if you are like me, my reallllyyy stretching it is still less than most are comfortable with…so I’ve always spent less on housing than my peers…or most anyway. But I didn’t save as a young adult, so I am still paying for the sins of my youth. Your future kids will thank you if they live in a smaller home but you are financially on the road to independence.
Now, if you are like me, my reallllyyy stretching it is still less than most are comfortable with…so I’ve always spent less on housing than my peers…or most anyway. But I didn’t save as a young adult, so I am still paying for the sins of my youth. Your future kids will thank you if they live in a smaller home but you are financially on the road to independence.
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